Justin;
"Are you kidding? That was amazing." I laughed with my mom.

She was smiling brightly today, as always, as we were walking down the street just coming back from an Italian restaurant from a celebration of selling out MSG in twenty two minutes, something like that for a sixteen year old just doesn't happen. 

The rest of the crew had left a few minutes before, but mom and I wanted to spend a little time together since lately I've been hanging around Chaz and Ryan so much. So here we were. Walking up and down the streets walking in and out of shops at the familiar place I loved called New York City. I stopped at an intersection when the red light turned green and cars started passing by when I noticed a fan who was screaming the word "never". Her back was facing me, but she had long, layered brown hair that flowed in the wind across her back, which may I add, her had my face on the shirt with the words "My World 2.0". It was definitely way too cold to be walking around here in just a shirt and jeans when I was in a jacket and way too dangerous to be walking around here alone when I was with my mom. 

 I was just about to walk up behind her to thank her and tell her to never say never, hoping that she would calm down for whatever reason she was shouting, when she looked to the side and I caught a glimpse of her face and my heart stopped. Her mascara was running above her eyelid, down her cheeks even reaching her chin. She had a tired look in her eyes like she's has been through a tragedy one too many times and was eventually starting to tire. Her eyes were burning with such intensity as she stared up at the bright shining moon, so intense it was as if she could burn a hole through that moon any second now, as if she was getting ready for something, as if she was crying for help.
 
She took a step back, pounced up and that's when my mom tensed up, tightly gripping onto my arm and covering her mouth with her other hand.

One foot after another, there she was, running straight into the middle of the road. She looked straight forward at the cars, no fear at the angry faces and honks that the drivers were throwing at her.

And that's when it happened.

When a car hit her straight on, only stopping enough so that she fell to the ground, her head hitting the pavement and her feet slightly underneath the car which stopped right away. Without even a second thought, I rushed out into the middle of the full road towards her motionless body, freaking out about what I should do as I heard the sirens in the distance. 

I picked her up and held her into my arms, the burning emotion of having to see that necklace and bracelet and t-shirt of my face and name on it, and at that, my heart broken. The fact that she wasn't just anyone, she was my fan made me feel guilty. Because conscious or not, the pain was still visible when her eyes were closed. The fact I didn't know her didn't change my wanting to get to know her better and help her through this at all, she was my fan and I was going to do whatever it took.
                              Where have I been when my one less lonely girl needed me most?