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Defying Gravity

Haylie's;
                                                         No One Can Cure This Headache

I tried pulling the thin long - sleeved Justin Bieber shirt tighter along my body and wiping the mascara streaks off my face, but it was useless. Just like the burning slices of depression I had spread all over my left arm - I didn't know how long I'd have to deal with them being there, but they were there for the time being.

I was walking down the cold, crowded yet ever so lonely streets of New York City, the last place I had ever swore to visit before I die. Lights were shining brightly from advertisements and signs high above my heads, people were rushing up and down the streets not even paying attention to the hopeless fourteen year old with makeup smeared across her cheeks. 

I never thought I'd be here, but here I was, thousands and thousands of miles away from my home in Canada
 alone, running away for a few weeks just to experience the good life. The old Haylie would be partying at a girl’s night out right now, not walking up and down the fearful streets of New York City always having to worry about shielding herself from the world.

I stopped at an intersection with cars passing wildly through the stoplights and thought for a moment. I could still feel my tired heart beating slower and slower by the second, tired of always being walked all over and being taken advantage of, tired of feeling so worthless and unhappy. I really just wanted all of it to end.

I had visited New York already, the one place I always wanted to travel to. But now that I was here and I could still feel the pain flowing through my body and especially my arms, it didn't seem all that great. Now meeting Justin Bieber, the one boy who ever managed to help me see another side of myself, that was something I hadn't done. But after giving the same call of help in my letters to him over and over again with no response and seeing the thousands of people tonight at MSG that wanted him too, I knew for sure, that meeting him was something I wouldn't ever be able to do.

"I'll meet you soon, never say never right?" I laughed heartlessly to myself in a whisper. I'm talking to myself, I thought. I really am going insane. "Well, quit dreaming Bieber!" I screamed, when a few people had started to stare. But the flaming emotions that overflowed inside me just couldn't be contained anymore. "Just because life turned out oh-so-lucky for you doesn't mean that it'll turn out right for me! Things are never going to look up for me, and I'm never going to meet you. There, I said it. Never, never, never!" I threw my arms up into the air. By now people had completely stopped to stare at me as if I were some kind of crazy cat lady.

Tears were flowing down my cheek and the same old adrenaline that drove me to cutting was only stronger than ever. This was it.  I looked straight ahead at the passing cars that were driving fast enough just to do more than enough damage to a person's body. What else do I have to live for?

.

Chapter One
Keep Going? And To My Followers I Hated Rare With A Burning Passion So Here My New Story Hope You Like ;P

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Defying Gravity Haylie's; No One Can Cure This Headache I

10 faves · Feb 24, 2011 6:59pm

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