In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my
hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular
soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not
turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot
after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor
use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other
use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains
nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this
one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to
spread the stupidity.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
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·
Feb 4, 2011 11:32pm