What do I have to be stressed about? The easy answer is studies. But those are manageable. Distractions even. What could possibly be bothering me? I get it, I make things look easy. But you have no idea how hard that is. You're being over dramatic, everyone feels down sometimes. Those words have some truth to them. But I don't feel like this sometimes. I'm always down about something. It's always in the back of my mind. I go from one extreme to another because that's how I can deal. I've still worked my words around admitting what my stressor even is. It's fake friends. It always goes back to this. Friendships. Or lack thereof.
My heart’s aflutter! I am standing in the bath tub crying. Mother, mother who am I? If he will just come back once and kiss me on the face his coarse hair brush my temple, it’s throbbing! then I can put on my clothes I guess, and walk the streets. Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again, and interesting, and modern. The country is grey and brown and white in trees, snows and skies of laughter always diminishing, less funny not just darker, not just grey. It may be the coldest day of the year, what does he think of that? I mean, what do I? And if I do, perhaps I am myself again.
How can I be both the singer and the angel in the song fallen angel by three days grace? Some times I am the singer who is there and trying to save the angel and help them up again, but then at night when the wall that keeps all my emotions locked up crumbles, thats when I become the fallen angel. I have no idea how to handel this, how I can be both people.