When I was 18
a guy of 23 told me that
I couldn't know misery yet
when I reached his age I'd know
why you drink to forget
He drunkenly held on to his pina colada
and I got mad
A friend told me that it's true
that you change a lot in those years
as I would have hoped because
it would be sad to stay stagnant
but I didn't count on this
When I got 19 I've slept in some
unfriendly bedrooms of unfriendly men
I ran of abroad and told a boy
that I'm the youngest girl alive
in my head, cause I was
he thought that was weird
because he always felt old
and he held me trying to sip up
my youth
I was on a plane with a man
who told me my loud voice could indicate
that I was uncertain about myself
I said no, that's not an option, I just like
being heard and don't worry,
you didn't put me in a identity crisis
because I'm only 20 and it's a state of mind
keep on embracing that feeling
and now I'm 21, I still lie in bed with boys
who I won't marry with but who think
that I am beautiful and I think I am
beautiful
And I'm still not clinging to pina colada's
but I have two more years to catch a trauma
that makes me so bitter that I stop trying
and colour black insides
with sweet liquor
but until then, I'm drinking
for nights to remember
instead of forget