Spoonfuls into the Pit We Dug
by: Chloe Marie
He said,
"Don't forget me"
I knew I wouldn't, his memories were everywhere.
I kept his face in my sorrow filled mind, as I closed my eyes, he would smile.
His voice rang in my now empty ears, he whispered softly, as everything remain silent.
His hands lingered on my bare waist, memories of him taunting me, shouting out to me,
as I struggle to continue through the pointless, never ending movements of life.
His fingertips ever so slowly brushed along my tingling arms,
as if he were engulfing me in a restless sleep,
muttering sweet words I would never hear again.
Tossing and turning, I knew he wasn't truly there.
Twisting and cursing to myself for believing he would never leave.
Memories help you remember,
while begging you to forget.
I chose which path I would follow,
as I agreed to his soft begging,
"Don't forget me."
He mumbled into my hair.
I can only remember,
what other choice can I have,
as his eyes glisten with the fear of me forgetting who he was to me?
I wiped his tears away,
as I fought back a storm of my own.
What a foolish thought!
"I promise I won't."
I gave him hope,
as I tried to work my way around the lump in my throat.
His warm brown eyes held me in a loving, yet violent embrace,
as if a single look could lead me towards the pit we knew we were digging since day one.
We never truly acknowledged what we were doing,
but yet never denied it.
And never thought too much about the dread leaving each other would bring;
with each shovel full of removed dirt meant another memory made.
The effort was never wasted,
and we knew that.
The pit is now done;
the earth that was once there is now stored with us.
We bring the dirt everywhere we go,
to dump back spoonfuls at a time.
The amount we keep,
we use to cover what will someday be our cold,
lifeless bodies into the ground.
We dig when we're in love,
because we aren't supposed to keep hidden.
When we approach the end,
we won't have to cover who we are,
for we would have already revealed everything we have to show.
Life is a show and tell,
yet a little more complex.
We prepare for what's ahead,
letting go of all the unnecessary cargo,
and experiencing little moments to remember along the way.
Everything has a little beautiful,
everything has a little ugly.
It simply depends on how you view it.
"Please remember me."
I whisper to him,
I cast a glance upwards,
dancing my eyes across his face,
taking each feature in,
scraping a little dirt off the edge of the pit I knew we've finally finshed.
His brown eyes finally found mine,
I embraced the familiar feeling that those eyes gave me.
And, at that moment I realized that I've held on much too long.
He has to go.
And I have to let him.
We were both ready, pretending we weren't,
"I couldn't forget you."
His lips curved into a sad grin.
"Good."
I told him for I knew I would soon forget myself,
as I willingly only remembered him.
Then we faced reality,
and had our goodbyes.
I would be lying if I said they were depressing,
that word alone couldn't do that justice.
I wanted to yell,
I longed to drag him back to the place we called home.
But the world is cruel,
no one can stop that.
We weren't the unexpected superheroes to stop the villain.
We are just innocent citizens,
at the wrong place,
at the wrong time,
waiting for someone to save the day.
Unfortunately, our wishes were useless,
that didn't happen.
So, we embraced for the last time,
and put everything we had into that last kiss.
"Don't forget what we have."
I nodded into his chest.
Moments later, he let go of my hand.
"I love you." He smiled sadly,
I supressed tears.
"I love you too."
He smiled, then turned and left.
Later, I found myself chucking spoonfuls of dirt into that pit we dug.
We finished.
The digging was accomplished,
but now we must begin putting the earth back in place,
filling the empty chasm that left us so sore.
There are beautiful memories that I kept for myself and him.
Some things you just can't convince yourself to throw away.
It's not easy leaving,
but once you do,
we realize that we never truly lost anything.
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