its important not to give a f*** 24/7 when you're a girl in a relationship, actually probably in all relationships. honestly.as soon as you start to care, its like the person has a reaction of not caring. its insane but its true. why would anyone want to give up in a relationship. i can't tell if im loosing intrest in you or what. i don't want to loose intrest i want you forever...why am i even acting like this... i have no idea.what made you not want this as much as me? did you loose intrest in me? maybe its not me, maybe its you.i dont know how to get you to want me anymore anthony, i need to know you're there for me and you're not. im tired of feeling like im not good enough, i want threre to be something there and theres nothing anthony, i feel nothing. i never thought i'd feel this way but i do. theres nothing that i can do or say that makes me believe that this is going to last. i feel like were too different but i can't tell if this feeling is perminit or if its going to go away. i cant tell anymore. i feel lost, like i can't tell you how i feel about anything because you never listen to me...i thought it was going to be just us. but its not..theres something between us and i can't handle it anymore. i can't talk to you about anything anthony, you're just not there. am i expecting too much out of you? or are you expecting too much out of me? you want me to drop everything and go see you to go here and there to see you whenever. anthony for once why can't you do that for me. why wont you drop everything to see me, to talk to me anthony just a simple hi in the middle of the day knowing that you're thinking about me. but theres nothing. i feel nothing. i can go to bed now without hearing your voice anthony. im over the fact that we will never be like we used to be anthony, i tried. i tried to make you want me anthony, but still theres nothing. i don't know how long i can keep this up before i completely loose it. im going insane. i think about you all the time and it drives me insane. i don't even know if one day ill wake up and have nothing there. no connection with you or maybe ill learn to look completely past everything, maybe. maybe not.
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