Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

Quotes added on Saturday, September 1 2012

  1. springbabyof96 springbabyof96
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:11am UTC
    sometimes you just need someone to scream your secrets to. you need someone who you dont really know. because thats the only people you can trust.. strangers. i could use one now.

  2. kristagannon kristagannon
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:11am UTC
    You know the party was a
    success when the cops get called

  3. DangerDove DangerDove
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:11am UTC
    Test Yourself : Are you a Neanderthal?
    1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? +5
    2. Can you lock your knees in an upright position? -5
    3. Got a chin? If the answer is no, +3
    4. How about a forehead? If not, +3
    5. Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? +5
    6. Do you ever open beer bottles with your teeth? +10
    7. Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than sitting in a chair?
    +5
    8. Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, +1
    for every five degrees of slope.
    9. Less than five feet tall? +1 for every inch under.
    10. If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm,+1 for every inch of difference.
    11. Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
    12. Pigeon-toed? +5
    13. Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club? You're normal--no points.
    14. Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to hold an apple?
    +5
    15. Do you regularly eat apples in this fashion? +15
    16. Do people think you're wearing your hair in a bun when you're not? +10
    17. Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an overcoat? +5
    18. Is your nickname "Duke", "Butch", or "Animal"? +3
    Scoring
    0-20 points: You are a virtually pure homosapien.
    Feel free to build bridges, compose symphonies, and overrun the world.
    20-40 points: A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will
    occasionally have spells of primitive behavior,
    crawling around on all fours and whooping wildly.
    If you live in California, no one will notice.
    40-60 points: You can still function quite well in the modern world,
    but avoid eating in fancy restaurants lest your table manners give you away.
    60-80 points: Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant.
    You should consider a career in pro football.
    80-100 points: Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City;
    there is no place for you in human society. A career in politics is recommended.

  4. summer_girlxo summer_girlxo
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:11am UTC
    Friend: Heey wanna hang with me today?
    Me: Sorry I can't... I'm at the mall with my new boyfriend(; <3 He's superr hott(:
    Friend: Really? That's just lovely. Now the truth..?
    Me: I'm stalking the hot guy that works at the mall... He just called security...
    Friend: Thats what I thought...
    nmq/nmf

  5. Johanna Mason* Johanna Mason*
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:11am UTC
    Live while we're young
    a One Direction fanfic
    March's P.O.V.
    I'm at the concert with Erika, when Harry looks right at us, and
    our gigantic signs. Mine says 'I LOVE THE FLIRT' whilist Erika's reads 'Niall, I fancy you.' He stares at us for a while, and when his solo comes, he missed the 'What makes' part of the main line. We were astonished....... Harry doing that? But whilist the crowd surrounding us booed, we cheereed. It sounded as though there was only three people cheering, the rest having a wee sulk. Who was the third person? She was sitting right across the asile so we went across and said 'Hi'. She replied: 'Hi, I'm Peyton. I'm a crazy stalker of the boys, but in particualr, LOUIS!!!!! WHOOPEEEEEE!'
    She looked nuts, so we slowly walked out the stadium.
    Harry's P.O.V.
    I'm on stage preforming, when these beautiful eyes stare up at me. I'm wonderstruck, this girl, she's something. A special somthing. She appeared to be the happiest person in the stadium. But she went out of the stadium. So, impulsively, i jump off the stage, and run up the steps after her. Of course, she's already left, and pertty much anyone else near the exit has too. I burst out the doors, and search through the crowd. I could not find her. Tired of stepping on toes, i give up, and resort to the tour bus. I step inside, sad, and a wee bit depressed. All of sudden Zayn goes 'Harry, did you forget the words? You cant have forgotten the WORDS!!!'
    I reply: 'I saw some beautiful eyes staring up at me. This girl was a picture of true beauty, and i was put in shock. I forgot because of that.' All of a sudden there was a knock on the door. Rachel, being closest, opened it. It was the code knock, like a password. By a strange chance, She was there.
    Erika's P.O.V
    All of a sudden, Harry runs to the door, scoops March up in his arms and she's like 'Wha?' but what she actually says is 'Um, i just wanted an autograph.' Harry, being the biggest flirt I've ever seen, goes 'Just an autograph? Please, you can have me.' She's really freaked out by this time, and says 'You mean....' 'When i forgot the words. I was looking into your eyes, the eyes of perfection. ' Now you can see the look of horror on her face. Louis, being a bit of a cheek, said:
    'This is what he means. Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but i think i love you, so kiss me maybe?'
    He laughed, but Harry gave him a cold, hard stare.
    'Sorry.' he said. Now Harry got down on his knees and begged March to come on your with them, all while I was still outside in the cold.
    'If Erika can come too.'

  6. ChaoticBeautyxo* ChaoticBeautyxo*
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:12am UTC
    September 5th;
    Put a big W on your hand to see who else is a Wittian
    * Pass it on *

  7. shortyac1357 shortyac1357
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:12am UTC
    Today in class;
    Me: So did you see me quote of witty yesterday about us?
    My Friend: Hmm? *with a what? look*
    Me: It was on my main account...
    My friend: OHHH, I don't go on witty...
    Me: WHY?
    My friend: Cause witty is boring.
    Me: -SPEECHLESS- *mouthhanging wide open in aw...*
    Me Friend: What?
    Me: Don't talk to me ever again. *picks up books and moves to a different desk.*

  8. xExplosiveCandyx xExplosiveCandyx
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:13am UTC
    Like one direction:
    stay beautiful because you've got that
    One Thing!

  9. Siriusly Riddikulus* Siriusly Riddikulus*
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:13am UTC
    First quote from my phone :)

  10. Im_just_a_guy Im_just_a_guy
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:14am UTC
    Look. I'm bout to kill myself. please text me?? 810.620.7202

  11. jadie12321 jadie12321
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:15am UTC
    The Perfect Boyfriend
    He would scream "I love you" down the halls not caring who heard him. He'd go on a walk with me in 60 degree weather hot cocoa in one hand and my hand in the other. He'd sing outloud to any song even if I call him retarded. He let's me sing outloud and won't call me weird. He'll sit outside with me on my front step beacause theres nothing else to do and won't say he's bored once.
    He'll let my look like crap wearing a big tshirt and shorts and still call me beautiful. He'd write thousands of notes everyday at school. He'll take me to the park and push me on the swings. He won't be shy around my family but acts like he's part of it. He'll argue with my friends that he loves me more. He'd run up and hug me whenever he sees me. He won't be scared to dance infront of me or act retarded. He'd rent all the chick flicks he knows and watch the with me when I'm inside sick. He'll remember our anniversaries before I do. He'll call me at night just before I go to sleep just so he knows he's the last voice I hear. He'd push my hair away when it's in my face. He'll give me his sweatshirt even if it's freezing and won't make me feel guilty about it. He'd never get jealous because he already knows I love him more than anything and when he says forever he means it
    no matter what.

  12. enchantedartic enchantedartic
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:16am UTC
    Why I hate people... #1
    People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my butt when I ask where the toilet is?

  13. shortyac1357 shortyac1357
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:17am UTC
    You: You do know that I'm having heart surgery today, right?
    Niall: I know.
    You: I love you.
    Niall: I LOVE YOU MORE!
    *Niall kisses you*
    *after sugery, dad is only one in the room*
    You: Where is he?
    Dad: Where do you think you got the heart?
    You: *starts sobbing*
    Dad: ...
    You: NO, NIALL, NOOO!
    Dad: I'm just kidding, he's in the cafiteria.

  14. sayheyilyx sayheyilyx
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:17am UTC
    DRACO MALFOY.
    Proof that blondes don't always have more fun.

  15. 28emm 28emm
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:18am UTC
    “I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world
    trying to find someone to love.”♥
    ― Marilyn Monroe

  16. ImaPiratePrincess ImaPiratePrincess
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:19am UTC
    boy:|girl:
    I saw her today|I saw him today
    It seems like its been forever| I wonder if he still cares
    She looks better than before|I couldnt stop staring at him
    I asked how things were going|I asked about his new girlfriend
    Id pick her over any girl im with| hes probably really happy now
    I cant even look at her without cring| he wouldnt even look at me
    i told her i missed her|he lied
    I ment it|he didnt mean it
    I love her| he loves his new girlfriend
    I held her for the last time| he gave me a friendly hug
    Then i went home and cried| then i went home and cried
    i lost her|i love him

  17. springbabyof96 springbabyof96
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:20am UTC
    why is it my "friends" are never any help when i need advice but theyll be the first to judge me when i make a bad decision?

  18. jkgirly102 jkgirly102
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:20am UTC
    HELP!
    As of Tuesday, I now attend a new school in a different town. My boyfriend seemed pretty sad today so I asked him why.
    "I'm fine" he said to me.
    "Is it because I left?" I asked him.
    There was a short silence, then I heard his voice break.
    "YES. I KNOW THIS IS THE BEST THING FOR YOU AND I WANT YOU TO GO FAR IN LIFE AND YOUR EDUCATION BUT YES! I MISS YOU! IT'S THE MOVE TOO. I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE ALONE AT PROM. YOU ARE NOT THE GIRL WHO WOULD STAY HOME YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT! MY FUTURE IS SO UNCLEAR AND I NEED YOU!!!" he screamed. I could hear him bawling through the phone.
    My boyfriend might move 1300 miles away next year. He has been planning on taking me to my prom (even though I now go to a different school) but now that he may move, it may be hard. I feel so bad for now going to a different school and making him feel this way. I do not want him to go either. How can I comfort him?

  19. Livingformatfree Livingformatfree
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:20am UTC
    Finding out a guy you really like likes you back❤ best day in a while ^.^

  20. sayheyilyx sayheyilyx
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 12:20am UTC
    "Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else."
    -- Mark Twain

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles