Quotes added on Wednesday, December 10 2008

twinkles22508
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 12:10am UTC

i can tell by the way he looks at me
he doesnt know what he really wants.

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sarruhhx3
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 12:20am UTC

& i just want someone
to treat me right ;;

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CANDiELANDx3
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 12:39am UTC

wouldn't it be nice if the world was flat?
that way we could push off the people we didn't like.

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CANDiELANDx3
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 12:51am UTC

You have my love, even if you don't want it
You have my heart, even if you don't have the strength to carry on
Don't take it for granted, keep it somewhere safe
Unlock it when you're ready to discover love

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CANDiELANDx3
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 12:53am UTC

i’ll never forget the day he broke my heart,
and he'll never forget the day i found someone to fix it.

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CANDiELANDx3
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 12:59am UTC

It's amazing how every girl has that one guy that could call
her up at 3 in the morning, and say ''Lets hang out, I'm
coming to get you.' And she'd put aside her feelings, her
excitement, her anger or hate for him. She'd only give
him 4 words. 'Give me 10 minutes.'

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CANDiELANDx3
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 1:05am UTC

don't you ever just have days where you wanna knock out
every single person who asks you
'whats wrong?'

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CANDiELANDx3
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 1:11am UTC

Look at the stars.
They're the same stars as last week, last year.
Same as when we were kids, when we weren't even born.
In 100 years no one will ever know who we were,
but they'll know those same stars.

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CANDiELANDx3
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 1:33am UTC

And when the clock struck 12 on January 1, 2008
i never thought things would end up like this...
mine:]

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:00am UTC

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:02am UTC

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:02am UTC

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:03am UTC

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:04am UTC

Beth's life Lesson #1
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:05am UTC

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:06am UTC

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:11am UTC

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:14am UTC

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:18am UTC

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
What a year!!

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kaiserroll75
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 2:21am UTC

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"

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Witty Profiles

Quotes added on Wednesday, December 10 2008