+& To Watch Her Shatter Her world was filled with high heels and private jets, but her heart was as empty as the skies she flew through. This girl taught me to love. She used to ask me why I did not love. I never would reply, and not because I didn't, but because I couldn't look at her without my breathe entirely stopping. Her domino skin set off the fireworks in her eyes and her smile made my heart dance. I simply walked away every time. She was the only one who spoon fed me truth. Her kitchen was full of sugar coated lies and presents. The shelves had always looked like Christmas morning to me, but I never did see her give any away except for one. As I opened it she crumbled and fell to the floor. Her skin ripped open along wit the wrapping paper that sang of lullabies of empty wine bottles of an addict as it ripped. Her hair fell as I took off the bow until she was just bones lying on the floor. And I could see them shatter. I stood unwrapping for her sake, really. She was only skin and bones, no blood to make her full. The girl that asked me why I was empty was empty herself. "You need to open it..." she whispered as she fingered her ribs, which locked in a single sparrow. As I lifted the lid off of the box, I could see her bones piecing themselves together. A heart wrapped in velvet lie in my hands. It was hers. As she got up I could hear the yellow sparrow flapping in her lungs. She put her hand in my hair, "My mom buys me one hundred dollar shorts just so I wont wear what i want." I looked at my hands and a number one appeared on my palm. Months went by. I passed her in the hall and ran to the bathroom crying. My stomach shook and I was positive the earth was ending. I leaned over to scream, but instead threw up butterflies. and at once, I no longer felt fluttering. "My favorite song on my iPod is ten thousand cicadas singing." 49...My right palm was almost entirely full. I became convinced I had ink poisoning, and I never realized I could breathe. She dragged me to an open field one day at sunrise. With only morning berry pickers and farmers to see, we stood on hay stacks entirely naked for the world. I had never felt so free. I awoke today to find her sitting with a new present on my floor. As I opened it this time she did not break, but love slowly filled the empty crevices of her body. When i took off the bow a yellow sparrow flew out of the box. "I'm finally free." And the number one hundred appeared on my left palm. -Kathryn Alive Hayes. 100% mine.
Write to me. the stars in the sky write me broken sonnets, wish for me on stormy nights when only one star appears in the sky. hold me in your arms and push any hair away from my eyes that flies astray. let me feel your heart beat, let us break the barrier between one and be free. unleash the butterflies in my stomach and let them spread there wings and fly to the amazon. let the snakes slither up your body like goosebumps as if i'd just whispered in your ear. our hearts will beat like the steady footsteps of a lion going in for the kill and your voice will sound like the song of the crickets, in perfect harmony. close your eyes and pretend we're together holding up the stars and the sky. watch the moon dance and saturn cry. let us ride the milky way and feel the rush of the moon in our hair. smile wide and allow yourself to swallow a wish from one special star. fill yourself with the cookies i bake you filled with love. allow them to fill the missing pieces of your heart like puzzle pieces while i'm away. tell the blank spaces i'll soon be there to fill the void of emptiness you feel when i'm gone. sing to me like the northern lights dance. pour your heart out to me in verses and allow yourself to love.
The Coke Bottle Glasses. i once met a girl she has hearts for iris's and big circle glasses that reflected her world. at one point i looked into those glasses and saw hearts beat lullabies and lungs light up with fireflys she'd cought in the summer. they glistened with half drunk milkshakes and french fries fried in love. those glasses shone with moonlit kisses and long awaited ferris wheel rides. everyday she sat in a swing held up by the webs of my heart. as her feet lifted off the ground bids began to fly, rainbows filled the sky and the earth began to turn. she woke me by jumping into my lap each morning with tea that had leaves that showed her future and to inform me she'd painted me a sunrise. she'd sing to me sweetly as she looked out the window as the doves painted the sky with white out. occasionally, she brought me an owl that cooed with her love. her smile could lift gravity from the earth, and it did. her favorite chair lay on the porch of her castle by the sea. at dawn she sat in her chair and colored the world. with her box of crayons she painted the wings of butterflies and colored carnivals. one day her tea leaves shown that she would build a cabin atop the tallest mountain. she kissed me goodbye and took my hands which had held her world. "hold my forever, remember me when you see the moon, and think of me when i paint the sky" and then, she ran. i put on her glasses each morning and see her at her new cabin upon the mountain, painting out the world. her crayons hold our world, and we are her coloring book.
It's All Gone, Now. we used to run up hills just to pick daises and scream to the sky, a mess of laughter muffled the winds cries. i find it ironic that i now feel as if i'm a tree with roots that attatch me permanently to this town. why is it that i'm dehydrated and begging for the suns forgiveness? a tree can't live long with no sunlight or water, you know. even in a different form i am still unsymmetrical, my collar bones are never in place nor do my paintbrushes fall to the canvas right. birds land on my branches but the wind sends them flying. its like the oceans currents have come above the sea. rip tides are pulling me under, and my legs are becoming weaker with each tread. the streetlights that light up nothing and trains that lead no where make my head pound. buses toll people around only to end up on another empty street corner, yet again writing in this little black book of mine. i want to leave it somewhere just to see what happens, with all the letters to the world in it and all. i suppose the sky would bleed and my heart would rain, but anyways. Love never does leave. i mailed you a letter today. it told a story, do you remember? we used to ride ninety miles an hour just to feel wind in our hair. But that's all gone, now.
Where has the word "real" gone to? Maybe reality is blonde hair, plastic body parts, tan skin and porcelain teeth? I think it's sweaty skin, smeared lipstick and a big mouth, being afraid of nothing and truly LOVING yourself without BEING someone else.