xxdream121's Favorites

xxdream121

CookieMonster09*
posted a quote
August 25, 2013 5:46pm UTC

Apparently, jokingly spreading your legs when the dentist says 'open wide' is frowned upon in this establishment.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 280 points

of_mice_and_lucifer*
posted a quote
August 19, 2013 2:47pm UTC

okay i have a question for all of you.
does anyone else start school on september 4th?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 272 points

MusicIsLifexoxo
posted a quote
May 20, 2013 8:31pm UTC

Boys in fights:
I hate you man, f*** you.
Girls in fights:
Your eyes are uneven and your hips are huge. You're so fat I can see you from a mile away. You're also a huge attention seeker. Nobody likes you, you're such a B itch. You're so ugly, and that's why no one wants to be with you. You're so dumb, I'm suprised you're passing any of your classes.
I hope you live the rest of your life alone with 72 cats, and then they all run away on your birthday.
I don't see why anyone would ever like you, you sluut.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 123 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 12, 2013 6:22pm UTC

Mini m&m's taste better than normal m&m's.
Don't even try to argue with me on this.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 442 points

kristabff
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 2:14pm UTC

A white m&m comes into a room with candy friends.
White m&m: ~engages conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white m&m?
White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate m&m bag over there!
Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE m&m bag, then why are you white??
Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1106 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 29, 2013 10:00pm UTC

i want a guy that is cute and funny but
not so cute that he knows it but also shy and awkward that's tall and skinny but not too skinny but not too buff and can breathe fire and fly and do backflips underwater and has free wifi. like is that so hard to find

👍 this is good · read the comments · 457 points

ily44forever
posted a quote
March 27, 2013 11:36am UTC

OMG someone faved my quote!
oh wait...I did that myself.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

thatswutshesaid
posted a quote
May 2, 2012 6:03pm UTC

True story; (worth the read)
Today when I was waiting in line at the store with my Mom, a little girl pointed at me and whispered to her mom, "What are those scars from on her? And why doesn't she have as much hair as I do? What's that thing on her head?"
The mom turned to her and said "Sophie, that girl is probably one of the strongest people you will meet. She has a disease and to cure it she has to take a form of medicine that makes her hair fall out. She's no different than me, or you. She's probably been through much more than she deserves. And.."
The little girl stopped her from talking and ran over to me.
She handed me a chocolate bar and said "I'm sorry you had to go through this."
She took off my bandana and she said "Walk around like that. You're much prettier." Then she smiled and hugged me. I hugged her back with tears in my eyes and thanked her.
Then she walked away.
I can't stop crying. There are still good people in the world.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2553 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 7:29pm UTC

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room*
Girl: Where is he?
Dad: Don't you know who gave you your heart?
Girl: (Starts crying)
Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3205 points

hailstorm37
posted a quote
June 6, 2012 11:10pm UTC

Lick your lips 3 times
blink once, and keep your eyes wide open until you fave this quote.
I bet you will sneeze or yawn.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 4026 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
March 15, 2013 2:27am UTC

when boys say lesbian couples are hot but gay guys are disgusting:
no.
when girls say gay guys are adorable but lesbians are disgusting:
also no.
when anyone thinks anyone is disgusting because of what gender they prefer:
no. no. no

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 257 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 28, 2013 8:10pm UTC

daily reminder:
you need calories
simply to continue to
function and exist.
Losing weight: you need to eat.
Maintaining weight: you need to eat.
Didn't workout: you need to eat.
Ate a lot yesterday: you need to eat.
Happy: you need to eat.
Sad: you need to eat.
Everyone: needs to eat, every day.
format jimmy365

👍 this is good · read the comments · 254 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
March 20, 2013 2:15pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
I got called lazy yesterday.
I almost replied.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 271 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 17, 2013 5:27pm UTC

stop complaining about being single.
we have bigger problems here. like why mcdonald's doesn't serve breakfast after 1030am.

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jimmy365
posted a quote
March 25, 2013 10:53am UTC

i hate when
girls use those stupid insults like “you cant spell c nt without u (:”
ok well theres a lot of things you cant spell without u you cant spell soup without u what does that mean am i soup
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 402 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
February 26, 2013 6:33pm UTC

When a clock gets hungry...
it goes back four seconds.
HAHAHA I'm so funny.
Somebody date me ._.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 263 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
March 25, 2013 11:17pm UTC

a few important things:
- most human beings do not naturally have a thigh gap
- a thigh gap is not an indication of weight
- thigh gaps are not dependant on weight, they are dependant on how wide your hips are
- ribs and hipbones aren't meant to be very visible in a female human being who is a healthy weight
- collarbones are not meant to jut out heaps
- it's normal to have rolls on your stomach when you sit down or bend over
- it is normal to have a stomach that curves out a little bit
- most girls have stretch marks somewhere on their bodies; it comes with growing up and growing out
- stretch marks are not a sign of being fat, they are a sign of growing
- BMI charts are not accurate at all
-six-pack abs are not necessary to be healthy, be fit, or look good
- eating whenever you are hungry is perfectly fine
- the majority of girls have one breast bigger than the other (same goes for foot and hand sizes)
- the best way to get a bikini body: put your body in a bikini
- it is okay not to show off your body but it is also okay to show off your body as long as you're not mean to others about their bodies
- your body is yours to do with what you want

👍 this is good · read the comments · 505 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
March 12, 2013 6:55pm UTC

Why is there air in chip bags?
The air is actually nitrogen gas.
The nitrogen helps the chips to stay fresh
and not rot inside the bag. It also makes
it so the chips don't get crushed during packaging.
So unless you want to buy rotten and crushed
chips keep complaining about the extra air.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 270 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
February 26, 2013 6:27pm UTC

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mothers pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. they were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10%, for starters, explaning that even 10% was probably more pain the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and "kick it up a notch." The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing at this point, they decided to try for 50%. the husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby boy with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mail man was dead on the porch.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 285 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
March 8, 2013 8:05pm UTC

taylor swift: *breathes*
everyone: shut the frick up.
format jimmy365

👍 this is good · read the comments · 267 points

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