i walked in the classroom, holding onto my fathers shirt, wrinkled, and dirty from work, i looked up at his big brown eyes, and his plain frown, that i was used to ever since last november. i was 5 years old, i remember, and i remember walking into that pre-K classroom and looked around, alot of kids, my age, then a lady came over tall, blonde and smiled a toothy smile. "Welcome, to Just Right Child Care." she said to my father and reached out her hand, "I'm Anne." my dad stared at her hand for a second, he was in a daze. Probably thinking of my mother again. "Uhmm, uhh, hi, umm, I'm Stanley." and he reached out his long arm and I looked at his tatoo on his arm, a name, my mother's name. ♥julia♥ and under that in bold letters it said : forever and always. I wanted to run out of that big obnoxious classroom and run to the cemetary and sit at her grave and cry, for the rest of the day, but i just couldn't do this to my dad, he was pulling it together, why couldn't I? "Uhmm, this is my girl, Jacy, Jacy say hi to umm, uhh.." my dad studderred. "Anne." she helped him. " Nice to meet you Jacy." I looked up at her. "Hi." I managed to peep. "Children, this is Jacy, say hello to Jacy." Anne commanded. "Hello, Jacy," they all chimed. "Umm, hi." I don't like being the center of everyone's attention. "Jacy you can go sit down on the carpet, there's an empty spot next to Kaylee." she pointed to a little girl, around my age, with long brown curls, she smiled a warm smile, a smile I hadn't seen in 6 months. She was next to a blonde haired girl, who looked shy and didn't smile, just stared. I crept over towards the empty seat on the carpet, "Bye Jace, be good, I'll be here at 6:00." He pecked a kiss on my cheek. "Bye daddy." I sat down, "Hi! I'm Kaylee." the girl with long brown curls extended her hand. "And this is Emily." she said pointing to the blonde, who still didn't smile. "Um, hi."
After we sat on the carpet a while, we went outside, Kaylee walked outside next to me, and Emily next to her. We walked around, as she chattered, me listening half heartedly, just smiling and nodding every few steps. We went inside after half an hour, and went into a smaller classroom and sat on a carpet, I sat next to Kaylee again. Then she asked me a question I wasn't expecting at all, "Where's your momma? Mines at work, she works at the high school!" she smiled. I know she didn't mean it and didn't know, I had held in my anger,frustration, and sorrow for too long. "In a grave." I replied as calmly as I could. "My momma's dead." I said, with a tear rolling down my cheek, I looked at Kaylee's innocent sparkling green eyes, as they filled up with tears. I had to get outta there. So with that, I took off, ran straight outta that room, and didn't stop down the street, and didn't stop, to look back or to catch my breath, until I was at my destination, Wessagusset Graveyard and I ran to the most beautiful grave, it read across : IN LOVING MEMORY OF JULIA CAMPBELL, LOVING WIFE,LOVING DAUGHTER, and LOVING MOTHER 1977-2002 R.I.P
I ran my fingers across those words and rested my head against the plack for more than three hours, until I saw a white car pull up, and I sighed and turned the other way, getting ready to run again, run away from all of my problems, like I always did, the way that I called dealing with my problems. Running away. Carefree.
maybee. tell me if you likee so faar.