Thirty ways to get kicked out of WallMart
1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
2. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
3. Re-dress the male mannequins in female clothes.
4. When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.
5. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
6. Play with the automatic doors.
7. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
8. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
9. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
10. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
11. Try to put M&M’s on layaway.
12. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
13. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows.
14. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
15. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
16. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock.
17. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
18. Take bets on the battle above.
19. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
20. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
21. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible.
22. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
23. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
24. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
25. Two words: “Marco Polo.”
26. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
27. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.
28. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
29. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
30. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and yell " The voice it's its BACK!"
xoxofayexoxo
