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xocali4evalovexo

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Member Since: 23 Jun 2011 01:56pm

Last Seen: 31 Mar 2014 04:31pm

user id: 186387

137 Quotes
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Hey, everyone! I'm 15 and basically just your average teenage girl. I'm always here if anyone needs somebody to talk to or whatever. So, if you want to know anything else, just ask I guess. Remember, you're all beautiful and wonderfully unique. <3
  1. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 6:18pm UTC
    The Truth Is...
    Chapter 39
    “Well, after everything happened with us, I spiraled out of control. I got really depressed, and life at home got worse. I started to wonder if there was a way out, and one day I found it. It started with just bruises, you know, hitting myself “accidentally” or running into stuff. Soon, that wasn’t enough. When I was shaving, I’d purposefully cut myself. That made me feel better, but after awhile, that didn’t help anymore. So, I took the razor out of it, and one say I slit my wrists.” I gasped. I never would’ve guessed. “I’m sorry, go on,” I breathed. “I know, this is a shock to you, but ok. So, I was in the bathtub, because I figured that way my mom wouldn’t have to clean up the blood, she could just kind of wash it away, you know?” he asked, giving my hand a squeeze. Slowly, I nodded. “Well, Joey misheard my mom when she said I was taking a shower, and he thought she wanted him to go take a bath.” “No,” I breathed. Joey is Bryen’s younger brother. I think he’s 5 now, but I’m not sure. “Yeah. I guess he screamed and got my mom. I got admitted, and when I got out, I couldn’t go back home. I can’t even look at Joey now,” he sighed, his eyes starting to water. “I know, Lizzy doesn’t understand what happened with me, but it’s hard for me to look at her still. Hey, can I ask you something?” “Of course.” “Do you truly love me?” “Yes.” “Then you’d do anything for me?” I asked, eyeing the ledge. He followed my gaze. “Well, the truth is-” The rest of his sentence was broken off as he kissed me and we fell, tumbling off the cliff, in our final embrace. And in that spilt second before we hit the ground, I finally knew I was loved.
    The End!!!
    Thanks so much for reading!
    Please, feel free to let me know how you felt about it,
    feedback would be great! :)

  2. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 6:16pm UTC
    The Truth Is...
    Chapter 38
    Morning arrived too soon. I woke up in Bryen’s arms, and everything felt so right for once. “Bryen,” I whispered, nudging him awake. “Unngghh. Oh! Good morning, Holly,” he half-smiled, trying to wake up. “Sorry for waking you.” “Don’t be,” he yawned. “D-do we have to talk about last night?” I asked, hesitantly. He sighed, “I know you don’t want to, and normally I’d respect that. But yes, we do have to talk about it.” “Okay. Well, could we go back up to our place? I know it sounds silly, but I feel more comfortable there with you.” “I understand,” he said softly, rising from the bed. We got dressed and made our way to Surylian Hill, holding hands, but not saying much. As we sat on the edge, he sighed. “Holly, I need to ask you something.” Uh-oh. “Yeah?” “Did the-uh-program help you? I mean, do you ever think about just, ending it?” Oh no, I’m not sure that I like where this is going. I don’t want to tell him the truth, but after all of this, I can’t lie. “No. Yes.” I laughed, “No, the program didn’t help. I thought it did at first, but when I got home, things seemed just as bad. Yes, I think about killing myself. A lot.” I paused. “Like, in class a lot, when I space out, I’m thinking of ways to die.” That was probably too much. I’ve never told anyone that. “Oh,” he sighed. “So, are you going to tell me what happened with you?” I asked. “Well, I might as well, huh?” he smirked.

  3. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 6:13pm UTC
    The Truth Is...
    Chapter 37
    “Holly, wake up!” “Huh? Wha?,” I panicked, sitting straight up. “It’s ok, it was only a dream,” Bryen whispered, stroking my hair. “I-you-he-what’s going on?” “You were screaming in your sleep, I thought you were getting murdered or something.” He laughed, “I was sleeping over there on the floor.” He pointed to a pile of bedding in the corner, “But when I heard you, I ran right over to see what was going on. You were just having a bad dream,” he laughed. I started crying. “Oh, honey, what’s wrong? Is that what happened? Did he hurt you?” “No,” I sobbed, “He hurt you!” “Shhh, baby. I’m fine. I’m right here, just go back to sleep. We’ll sort this out in the morning. You need to sleep.” “I-I can’t sleep anymore. I’m scared,” I admitted. “Okay,” he sighed. “Now, don’t hurt me, this is only a suggestion. Would you like me to sleep with you?,” he asked, blushing slightly. I nodded, “On one condition.” “What’s that?” “We sleep in your bed.”

  4. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 6:11pm UTC
    The Truth Is...
    Chapter 36
    “Bryen, I am NOT sleeping in your bed.” “Why not? It’s clean, I promise,” he winked. “I’m already enough of a burden, I’m not going to take up your room, too. I’m more than happy to sleep on the couch.” “Well, that’s where I’m sleeping and I thought you didn’t want to sleep near me, remember?” I smiled, “I’m not sleeping in your room, and if you’re going to take the couch, then I guess I’ll just have to sleep over here on the floor,” I played, starting to lay out a blanket. “Okay, you win! I am most certainly not letting you sleep on the floor. You can have the couch! Although I still think you’d be more comfortable in my bed.” He’s so cute, the way he’s so protective. “Nah, I’m fine with the couch. But really, thanks,” I said. “Holly, how many times do I have to tell yo-” I cut him off with a light kiss. “For everything,” I finished. “Holly, I-” I blushed, really bright, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-I just-I-uh-” “Holly.” “Yeah?” “Relax, babe,” he whispered as he came to me and kissed me, the best kiss he’s ever given me.

  5. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 6:08pm UTC
    The Truth Is...
    Chapter 35
    “Woah,” he breathed. “So, you aren’t mad at me?” I waited anxiously for his answer. “No. I mean, yes. I don’t know, Holly.” “Can we sit down and work this out, please? I want to know what’s going on with you,” I pleaded. It was true, I’ve always wanted him to tell me more. “Why don’t we start with what’s going on with you. I’ve never seen you come up here alone since, you know, why now?” I know he’s trying to avoid talking about himself, but I really need someone to talk to. “My life is falling apart. I’m not even sure why I’m still bothering to live,” I said, surprisingly calm. “What’s wrong, Holly?” I broke down and told him everything that had been going on. “Shhhh,” he soothed as he wrapped his sweatshirt and arm around me. “It’ll all be okay. You’re going to be alright. I’m here, Holly. It’s okay, I’m here.” “How are things going to be okay? I got kicked out of my house. I have nowhere to go! I’m so confused,” I sobbed. “You could stay with me,” he said hesitantly. What? Oh yeah, I heard that he moved out and has his own apartment. But living together? I know he’s trying to help, but I’m not sure this is the right way. “Um, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, the crying beginning to cease. “Why not? We aren’t together, we’re still friends, and I want to help you.” “Okay.” I said hesitantly, “But only for a little bit. And we sleep in separate rooms.” He laughed, “Holly, you’re too cute. For the big façade you put on, one would think you’d be a little less…” “Less what?” I said, somewhat offended. “Innocent,” he laughed.

  6. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 6:05pm UTC
    The Truth Is...
    Chapter 34
    I don’t know how long I cried for; by the time I finally stopped I was nearing Surylian Hill. I thought about crying more, but I had no tears left. I sat on the edge of the cliff for a long time. I didn’t even hear someone sit beside me. “If you’re thinking of jumping, there’s faster ways.” I instinctively jumped back, away from the cliff, at the sound of his voice. “Trust me, I know. And Bryen? Please go away,” I mumbled. “Holly, I’m not going anywhere. Tell me what’s going on,” he soothed as he edged closer to me. I did, and he sat there in silence, his arm around me, letting me take my time. When I was finished, he simply breathed, “Wow.” “Yeah, so that’s my f*cked up life. Worse than you thought, huh?” “Yes, it is. Holly, I never realized how strong you were to keep all of that inside. I underestimated you and I’m sorry.” “Yeah, I’m not perfect. Hate to break it to you, but we can’t all be like you.” “You think I’m perfect?” “Well, yeah..” “Holly, look.” He pulled me so that I was facing him and rolled up his sleeves. “Do you think this is perfect?! I’m a mess, too, Holly. You aren’t the only one.” What? But, why? “Bryen, I’m so sorry. I had no idea-” “Exactly. You don’t know me, so don’t pretend to,” he shouted as he got up. “Bryen, please, don’t leave me!” “Why not?” He countered as he turned around, “That’s what I’ve always been best at, right? Do you know why I didn’t call you while you were away? Because I was away, too!” “Bryen, wait!” “What now!?” “I love you,” I sighed as I reached up and kissed him.

  7. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    November 27, 2012 9:26pm UTC
    You said you love me, you lied.
    You dumped me, I cried.
    You dated my best friend, I died.
    (Completely mine, please don't steal. If you want to use it, ask.)

  8. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    November 27, 2012 9:22pm UTC
    And I've come to the ultimate conclusion:
    Love does not exist.

  9. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    November 27, 2012 9:16pm UTC
    I spend my coldest nights
    alone,
    awake,
    and thinking of,
    the weekend we were
    in love..

  10. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 19, 2012 11:20pm UTC
    So, today I was talking to one of my newer guy friends. Apparently he likes me, but I don't like him that way. He's had a really hard life, but I didn't really know about it until earlier. He told me that when I rejected him he cut himself again...I don't know what to do....

  11. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 15, 2012 7:47pm UTC
    The Truth Is...
    Chapter 33
    “She didn’t mean it. She was just upset. You can stay.” “No, I can’t, Lizzy,” I sigh without turning around. “She meant every word of it. And as much as I love you, I have to go,” I tell her as I continue to shove my clothes into my backpack. “No you don’t. You can stay in my room if you want. I’ll bring you food and water and everything! Please don’t go, Holly,” she cried. “Come here, Lizzy,” I say as I open my arms. “Shhhh. It’s okay. I’ll be okay.” “Bu-but where are you go-going to go?” Good question. “I don’t know yet. I’ll figure something out.” “I’m going to miss you. Mommy is going to miss you, too,” she said as she stood back from me. “I’ll miss you both as well.” “Then why are you going?” I continued packing before I responded. “Because it’s something I just have to do.” “Can I come then?” “No, Lizzy. You need to stay here and look after Mom.” “Kayla can do that!” “No, Kayla goes to school too far away. She only comes home when she can.” “Why can’t I go? This isn’t fair!” “Elizabeth, don’t start. You know that I would take you if I could. Mommy needs you more than I do.” “What about Daddy?” I should’ve seen that coming. How do I tell a 7-year old kid that her father is going to prison, let alone for abusing her mother? I close my backpack, now crammed with every possession I care about, before answering. “You remember when I went away, right?” She nodded, before asking, “Is Daddy sick?” “Kind of. He’ll be okay, but he needs to go to a special place to get help.” Again, she simply nodded. “I have to go now, be good, okay?” I said as I made my way to the door. “I promise.” “Good. And I promise that I will try my very best to talk to you as often as I can. And I will be back someday, okay? I promise, Lizzy.” “Okay.” Tears started to well up in my eyes as I saw my baby sister acting so strong. “Holly?” she asked as I opened the door. “Yeah?” “Be careful.”
    Hope you like it!
    Thanks for reading! (:

  12. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 14, 2012 5:51pm UTC
    So, my old best friend is dating my ex who I still have feelings for. He says he still has feelings for me, and she knows this. Our break-up was an accidental misunderstanding, but now they've been going out for almost 1 1/2 years. They always fight and nearly break up, mainly because of me, even though I stay out of their relationship and don't try to break them up or anything. Now there's a guy that's older than her that says he likes her. She doesn't know how she feels about him, but she's starting to hang out with him a lot, even though she could be with her boyfriend who she barely sees. The guy that wants to date her knows she has a boyfriend, and wants them to break up. Her boyfriend doesn't know about any of this, and she won't tell him. He's still a really good friend of mine, but so is she. What do I do....?

  13. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 14, 2012 5:42pm UTC
    The Truth Is...
    Chapter 32
    Uh-oh. As I arrive home, police officers are dragging my dad out of the house. He’s swearing like crazy, and as soon as he sees me, he gets worse. “This is your fault! You stupid ungrateful b*tch! You filthy hoe! I wish you were never born!” “Then why didn’t you just let me f*cking die?!” “I should have!” “I wish you had! You are the worst father I have ever met! You’re a f*cking abusive alcoholic and this entire family will be better off without you!” I screamed as they shut the door on the squad car. I could hear his muffled voice yelling back, but I couldn’t make out the words. I was about to rush back into the house when, for the first time during this episode, I noticed my mother crying in the doorway. Lizzy stood next to her in dead silence, staring as they drove away our father. “You did this,” my mother hissed as I walked towards them. “He has been nothing but caring to you your entire life. He has provided for us all. For Christ’s sake, Holly; he saved your life!” “And he regrets it! He abuses you!” “He does not! He is my husband and when I am out of my place, he has a right to inform me of it.” “That is pure bullsh*t, and you know it.” “How can you do something like that to your father?” “I want nothing to do with that man who, you claim, has fathered me.” “Then you are no longer welcome in his house. This house.” Woah, what? “What do you mean? I did this for you, mom! For all of us! For Lizzy! How could you kick me out for trying to help you? I only wanted what was best,” I sobbed. “You were wrong. And what is best now is for you to leave. I will give you 24 hours to clear out. Everything of yours that is left will be thrown out,” my mother responded, coolly. Okay, that hurts. “Fine. I’ll be happy to leave. Just don’t expect me to come back when you need me.” “I will never need a traitor like you. I can’t believe that you came from my womb.” And yet I did, and you’re just throwing me out. “Me either,” I mutter as I stalk into my room.
    Hope you like it!
    Thanks for reading! (:

  14. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 14, 2012 3:35pm UTC
    I hate hearing all about homecoming. Homecoming at my school is a stupid sock-hop where everyone grinds on each other. I refused to go this year, and nobody cared. We do have a formal dance coming up soon, however. Thing is, I'm the only one of my friends that hasn't been asked and it's really upsetting to me and my friends don't understand...

  15. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 13, 2012 8:23pm UTC
    I've gotta fall
    back to back to back
    in love with you;
    I'll take the black and blues,
    I've got everything to lose.
    Oh, I've gotta fall
    back to back to back
    in love with you;
    what else can I do?

  16. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 7, 2012 6:00pm UTC
    So, I like this boy...
    (...but I also kinda have feelings for his brother...)
    (...and his other brother is my sister's best friend...)

  17. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 7, 2012 5:54pm UTC
    Not all roads lead to Rome,
    'cause this one leads
    to the hell back home...

  18. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 7, 2012 5:45pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  19. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    October 7, 2012 5:31pm UTC
    The Truth Is...
    Chapter 30
    I got examined by a few different doctors. It wasn’t so bad; the daily full-body exams at you-know-where were a lot worse. After I got checked out, I went back with Ellen. “Holly, have you called your mom yet?” Oops. “Uh, no. Sorry, I will now.” “Won’t she be worried?” “Nah. I leave the house a lot without telling her where I’m going. I mean, I’m sure she’s a little worried, but she doesn’t have a lot of time to focus on me.” “Why not?” “She’s busy with Elizabeth. Or she’s sleeping.” “And what about your dad?” “Working. As always.” “Do you resent him for always being at work?” “No. It’s better then he’s there.” “Oh? Why’s that?” Uh-oh. I’ve said too much. “Um, well he doesn’t do much at home. I think he’s happier at work.” “Ok.” I hear that skepticism. “Fine. He hits my mom. Is that better? They don’t even sleep in the same bed! My mom sleeps in my little sister’s room!” I screamed. “Holly, it’s ok. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” “No, it’s ok. I’m sorry. It’s just, I don’t know.” “It’s ok.” “Ok.” “So, tell me about your sister.” “Which one?” “You have two?” “Yep. And a brother.” “That’s cool. I always wanted siblings. I’m an only child.” “They aren’t so great,” I laughed. “I mean, Lizzy is ok, she’s still little so it’s normal for her to bug me sometimes. But I really love her. Kayla and Nate aren’t too bad anymore. They used to pick on me a lot when I was little, but as the fighting started, they loosened up. They kind of took over the role of parents for me.” “That’s nice. How old are they?” “They’re both 20. Twins.” “Do they get along?” “Enough. Kayla goes to college a few towns away and Nate goes to college in New Hampshire, so they don’t see much of each other anymore. They’re still close though. I mean, they are twins.” “I understand. And you said your brother goes to college in New Hampshire? Isn’t that a bit far away from here? What made him want to go so far?” “I don’t know. Probably my parents. I want to get the hell out of here, too. But when I do, I’m taking Lizzy. I’m not leaving her again. She needs me.” “What do you mean, ‘again’?” “When I went to the-uh-clinic. She wasn’t allowed to come see me. My dad wouldn’t let her and he told her a bunch of lies about it. She comes into my room crying sometimes…” I trailed off. “Ok. I think that’s enough for now, Holly. Thank you.” “For?” “Trusting me.”
    I'm sooooo sorry I haven't
    uploaded anything recently;
    my life has been a mess..
    Hope you like it!
    Thanks for reading! (:

  20. xocali4evalovexo xocali4evalovexo
    posted a quote
    September 12, 2012 5:48pm UTC
    click to see this quote

:)

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