My Life My life started out as any other.
then it took a drastic TURN!
My father had a severe case of alcoholism, he was also addicted to drugs. He left my side right after my mother was hospitalized in 2000 due to smoking. Oh, did I also forget to tell you my father smokes at least one pack every day? My mother had called the police and had him arrested several times. He didn't learn his lesson... he continued to drink and drink and drink and smoke and do drugs and all these other bad things. My mom kicked him out cause she didn't want me and my brother and sister around that any longer! He went away. I didn't know about anything at the time, I was only three.. i kept asking ''where's daddy? '' and it always broke my mothers heart. She hoped he would turn around his life and get back on track SOBER ! Unfortunately, she never got her REAL fairytale. My father was enrolled in an institute down in Florida so he could cope with his life and STOP drinking. It took him eight years to get back on track. I also believe he has high cholesterol, he eats Chinese food ALL the time, and has suffered from FOUR heart attacks! He has also been hit by three cars. When ever I see him everything is overwhelming and I cant help to cry. He came back in 2009 but its not enough! I don't believe i will have him much longer. I miss him everyday of my life and i cant do anything about it. He never lets me come over. I just want him to love me so much.. but i cant believe what he says. We make plans, then he breaks them, it KILLS ME! I don't know what to do. Will my children know him? Will he be there when i get married? Most important, Will he even be here for my 16th birthday? How about when i Graduate? Its NOT FAIR! He was there for EVERYTHING my sister did. He was there for almost all of it. I wish i could have had more of an oppertunity to see him. My mom was practicllay a single mom raising three children. She also smokes and has been hospitalized befor. She was never around so we never had a close relationship. She always tells me to go in my room cause she dont wanna see me. I was personally tiard of it. This is a secret nobody ever knew about me... Im a cutter. I feel that if i cvant take my anger out on other people, i take it out on myself. It started in 4th grade. I used to get bullied everyday. I wouldnt see my mother. I would get calls that my father is in the hospital and i couldnt help him. I felt useless. The bullying started in 2nd grade. I always had that bestfriend to takt to... that was my grand mother. In 2nd Grade i met this girl named Haillee so she already knows all of this. She may live in cranston, but we still behold a special relationship. I cut and cut to sevral points i had been in the hospital. I was also enrolled into Rehab for cutting and depression. I relapsed four times. I still cutt occationally, its who i am. Dont change me! then in the year of 09 i also lost my old bestfriend..my grandmother. I was always with her. I thought of her as more of a mother figure than my own. I miss her so much. Thjat year i also lost my great-grandfather and my moms REAL dad! I have no grandparents left... except for my moms step dad and i am slowly loseing him to old-timers. My life has been a wreck. I worry about being bullied every single day of my life. I started in coventry FRESH! No cutting, no depression, no drama! Everything has held out, my graded didnt start so great, but there better now! ALOT better now! I have some occational 8th grade Drama, and i cut almost never. I have also been messed with by guys so many times im DONE! Im gunna die alone because of it. When i decide to give my heart to a boy <3 he holds it for a while, then takes in throws it to the groung and stomps on it! Now when im in a relationship, im never happy. I never know what there going to do. I was head over heels for this boy, but he never seemed to care. He did for a while.. but then he squished my heart to a pulp. Im finally over him, then he says he likes me again. He put me threw HELL! I could have seen myself spending the rest of my life with him.. but that was quickly taken away. He cheaded on his girlfriend multiple times for me, then dumped her. He said he loved me like i loved him.. but he lied. The day he broke up with his girlfriend he asked out THREE other girls. At that point i told him i will never like him or befriend him again! He didnt understand. He made the mistake of asking out my best friends! Like really? Then he asks me today.. do you still hate me.. and i replied with ''YES! I ALWAYS WILL! I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND YOU HURT ME!'' it was so loud the teacher asked what was going on... i said nothing. He hurt me the most ive ever been hurt. His father kept telling me, ''No matter how much he messes with you, youll get back up and be STRONGER<3 because of him, I had faith. I belived this wasnt that end... and its not! I DIDNT EVEN CUT CAUSE OF HIM! Everything is so much better! <3