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I'm Ashley but you can call me Ashh (yes two "h" 's), I'm 17 years old and a now a graduate from highschool. I've been through hell and back within a year. I've experienced somethings that people shouldn't have to go through. Whether it be losing a friend, drama, a death, sickness, self confidence issues, family problems; i've most likely dealt with it. At the moment i'm trying to recover from an eating disorder; its one of the hardest things i've done in my life but i'm trying for my family because they mean the world to me. I like to sing and dance. Music is my escape and i would be nowhere without it. I don't trust people easily. & I'm here if anyone needs to talk.
Thanks for visiting my page and reading this. you ARE beautiful!♥
you guys should go check out and follow; stefthebest27 xx0keeta0xx givemestrength they are amazing!
things will get better, i promise.
"Don't come and go like all the others.."
.Rascal Flatts. .Jensen Ackles. .Braids. .Curls. .Long Hair. .Liam Hemsworth. .God Gave Me You. .Carrie Underwood. .Miranda Lambert. .Blake Shelton. .Country. .Dancing. .Cheer. .Tumbling. .Music. .Lime Green. .Taylor Lautner. .Nineteen Minutes. .The Truth About Forever. .Here Comes Goodbye. .One Thing. Hockey. Football. .Baseball. .Yankees. .Steerlers. .Baking. .Dane Cook. .Puppies. .Law&Order SVU. .Laughing. .Hot Chocolate. Cookie Dough. .Just Listen. .Pretzels&Peanut Butter. .Liam Payne. .Zayn Malik. .Bon Fires. .Pretty Little Liars. .Channing Tatum. .Demi Lovato. .Derek Jeter. .Mark Teixeira. .Give Your Heart A Break. .Smiling. .Forgetting. .Dreaming. .Helping. .I'm Not Over You. .Nursing. .Boys. .Singing. .Friends. .Family. .Twitter. .Exercising. .Late Night Conversations. .New Music. .New Friends. .Volleyball. .Family Time. .My Parents.
Recovery I don't know how much longer i can do tthis. it kills me to have to gain weight. to have to eat more then a small meal a day. i weigh the most i have in over 2 months right now. it's a struggle every single day and i'm not sure i can do it anymore. recovery is supposed to help, supposed to make you feel better and yet i just want to cry everyday. i'm tired of feeling fat. i just want to be skinny and light. why is that so bad? i just can't wait til i'm allowed to do what i want to do, to be able to weight what i want to weigh. i can't wait til i can take control of myself without anyone having a say. screw you recovery..you won't last for long.
i'm afraid that i'll never be able to find someone who will be able to deal with my baggage. to be able to deal with the fact that i have an eating disorder and will have to deal with this my whole life. i've been told that the eating disorder is who i am. yet its not. but i know thats how people think. and because of that i'm afraid that i will either have to hide a huge part of my life from someone i love or i will never be able to have someone love me..
Grandma; .you can beat this again. you've beat it once you can beat it again. you are so strong. i believe in you. i'm praying for you everyday. i think about you constantly. i cannot lose you..please, keep fighting you can beat cancer again
Life Sucks; .i'm sick of all this bullshit. everytime something goes right in my life, 20 things have to fall apart. i'm sick of it. it's just so unfair. i'm tired of being broken. of having to put that fake smile of mine just in order to get through the day. i'm tired of having noone to go to. to have to hold in so many secrets because noone wants to listen to me. i'm tired of being alone. im sick of this. it's not like anyone really cares about me anyways...
♥Happy Birthday!♥ to the girl that has been there for me through eveything. she has pushed me to keep going and has been there for me when i cry. she's been my inspiration to get better. "together" the word that gets me going everyday. thank you so much for giving me hope everytime i'm ready to give up. you've shown me what true friendship is. you've been strong when i can't be, even when you're world is ready to fall apart so thank you♥ Nikita(xx0keeta0xx), you are the best, i owe you so much. you are truely like a little sister to me and i will always be here for you. remember, you are gorgeous and don't let anyone ever tell you besides that. you're such a strong girl and never doubt that you deserve to have the best birthday today and remember i'm praying that you get that special phone call. ♥i love you girl♥ ♥happy birthday♥
i can't take this anymore. everything keeps piling up. im breaking, faster and faster. theres only so much i can handle and this is pushing it. i have my own problems to deal with, not yours. you say i add stress to you, well guess what, you help cause my problems, what you do to me is what cause me to starve myself. because of what you do, i do this to myself. this is how i gain control of my life since you seem to love throwing my world into a spin. im done. i cant handle it. im at the edge and im ready to go over...
i'm tired of crying i'm tired of being alone i'm tired of being strong i'm tired of being there for everyone i'm tired of being the girl that can't break i'm tired of always having to try to look positive i'm tired of this all i'm broken and i dont want to get fixed.
"since you've gotten skinnier ashley you don't even look good. you look like bones and its not right." i cant stop thinking about this. what you said to me. thinking about it over and over. looks like no matter how hard i try im still not good enough...