Dear Charli x
I'm been wandering around, lost in route for a map, for once in my life, everything's building up and I'm scared. Like, really scared. I've not gone as far as having myself out of perspective before, I mean, look how that might turn out for others. I cry down inside when I see her, A loved one but not lost.. I hope when you get this you'll understand. There's a life out there to save, and I think it's mine. So when you do get this in time, I hope you'll be listening. Along with our quiet words ♥
Once more I'm here...
I was destined to go home over Christmas and it hurt a whole lot, not just my mind on ease, but my heart deteriorating all on it's own. We can't tell dad about it though, He wouldn't get it. Mum's gone but I've learned and loved from thinking like her. It isn't right to know how, but as the only one to have her eyes and her hair, I have to go home and face what I've been putting off for sometime now, letting go as she did for me.
As I've came back now thing's have been ok, I mean.. I brought some of her back with me. Sometimes I think myself silly over it and that if it was the best thing to do, but as I told grandad I wouldn't scatter them.. because I never had any of her possessions and it was the closest thing I'd ever have. Grandad told me stories about her that made me smile; the first time he drew eyes on her in her little brown coat at age 2 when he met my grandmother. Being back home fixed alot of uncertainty I'd been having and my lungs have been rather ok now that I wasn't stressing out as much as I used to.
I really wish you could've come with me Charli, you would have loved her too. She was amazing to my inner hearts content and I'll keep hoping I could have met her once more. So wherever you are, know we will meet again and get through it as we always do. I'll set some tracks in the summer and go back, because I still have to much to find out and tell you. But never forget, on any day when you walk out that door, you'll never be lost without me -- Hold onto that xx