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Asma*

  1. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 23, 2013 2:27am UTC
    Santa saw your Facebook photos.
    You’re getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.

  2. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2013 6:20pm UTC
    Siblings:
    Reminders that your parents had a lot of se.x

  3. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2013 5:51pm UTC
    I try to avoid things that make me fat,
    like scales, mirrors and photographs.

  4. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2013 5:27pm UTC
    Me: Got an A in English.
    Mom: WTF, Well done!
    Me: Mom, what do you think WTF means?
    Mom: Well That’s Fantastic.

  5. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2013 5:15pm UTC
    My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke.
    I attached payslip on the first slide.

  6. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2013 5:04pm UTC
    Study:
    The act of texting, eating and watching TV with an open textbook nearby.

  7. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 17, 2013 9:39pm UTC
    Every person from your past lives as a shadow in your mind.
    Good or bad, they all helped you write the story of your life
    and shaped the person you are today.

  8. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 17, 2013 8:50pm UTC
    She was Hannah Montana when Bush was president.
    Thanks, Obama.

  9. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 17, 2013 8:41pm UTC
    Aftermath:
    Relaxation after your math class.

  10. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 17, 2013 4:29pm UTC
    Waterproof mascara:
    Mascara that comes off when you cry, shower or swim but not when you try to remove it.

  11. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 17, 2013 2:04am UTC
    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    And the middle finger
    Was made for you

  12. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2013 10:29pm UTC
    THE NAKED TRUTH
    Is always better
    Than the best dressed Lie

  13. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2013 9:24pm UTC
    It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “Allow me to stab you”.

  14. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2013 8:24pm UTC
    Aw, you cut yourself because Justin Bieber smoked weed?
    Good thing you aren’t a Wiz Khalifa fan.

  15. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2013 2:38am UTC
    I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “Haha good one!” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.

  16. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 12, 2013 5:42pm UTC
    During a test;
    People look up for inspiration
    Down in desperation
    And left and right for information

  17. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    December 12, 2013 5:34pm UTC
    Dear Math,
    I am sick and tired of finding your "x".
    Just accept the fact that she is gone.
    MOVE ON, DUDE.

  18. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    November 26, 2013 4:06pm UTC
    Broccoli: I look like a small tree.
    Mushroom: I look like an umbrella.
    Walnut: I look like a brain.
    Banana: Can we please change the subject?

  19. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    November 24, 2013 4:38am UTC
    And tears come streaming
    Down your face when you
    Lose someone you
    Cannot replace

  20. Asma* Asma*
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2013 6:27pm UTC
    If you think nobody cares if you’re alive,
    Try missing a couple of car payments.

:)

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