July 12th , 2010: so tired and kind of hurt . :\ meh . leave for Seattle soon though ! (:
July 13th , 2010: we actually spoke to each other today, it was weird. I wish he hadn't hugged my enemy. D: tired. long plane flight tomorrow ... not excited .
July 23, 2010: yesterday was good, Wednesday sucked.
I love how all the quotes on the "newest quotes" page are in blackandwhite with no edits or pretty colors. they're actual words that came from our hearts. not randomness that looks nice but has no meaning. <3
"so who was your first love?" I couldn't make eye contact with her, "why do you want to know?" we weren't what you would call "close" friends. but we talked every now and then. "just curious." she grinned. her teeth were perfect. "is he in this room?" I looked down to the ground, "yes." I said softly. she stood up from her chair and looked around the room, making note of all the guys in the same room as us, "can I have a hint?" I laughed, "no." "can I guess?" "go ahead, knock yourself out." I smiled at the thought of her knocking herself out. "will you tell me if I'm right?" I stopped smiling, "you'll know when you say his name." she looked at me confused but shrugged, "Daniel?" "no." "Matt? Micah?" "no and no." she said about ten more names, then his came up. "Eric?" I shuddered and didn't say anything. "oh my gosh ! Eric was your fir--." I cut her off, "SHHH !" I put my hands over her mouth and everyone in the band room looked at us. "uh ... hey ?" I heard a few laughs, and Eric was staring me straight in the eyes. He looked pained. I looked at Shalena, "shh , keep your mouth shut." "so.. you really loved him? and meant it?" I sighed heavily, "Shalena ... I was so in love with him. I would've married that boy with a ring pop in a heartbeat." "do you still love him?" she tried to make eye contact with me, but I stared at the ground. "no." I had to force the words through my teeth. "I can't." "and why not?" she asked so many questions. "because it hurts too much." vent.
we were having an "I Love You" argument "I love you like the stars shine" he said. "I've never heard that one before..." I replied. "haha, do you know what it means?" he asked. "no.." I responded. "after a star dies it still shines on for years. after we break-up, somewhere in the future, I know I'll still love you in one way or another. I'll never stop." he replied. it's been 5 months. he still loves me. truestory.<3
it was our one month I wanted to see if he'd remember so I didn't mention it the entire day. At church, he turned me towards him, held my hand, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "guess what today is?" I forced back my smile, "what?" he grinned at me, "our one month." he remembered. true story.<33
we'd been arguing for a really stupid reason too. "I'm going to bed. I'm tired of fighting. but I still love you no matter what." he said. "I won't be able to sleep tonight knowing this was our last conversation today..." I replied. "okay, I'll stay up with you until you fall asleep." he responded. I love him.
❝I hate it when people say that you're living your life the wrong way. There's a difference between living and existing. Living means you're living a satisfying life and existing means you're living a life to satisfy others.❞ my guy friend just said this to me. had to save it.(: I like it plain.