Witty Profiles

KissMyAxe*

1. KissMyAxe*
   posted a quote
   October 9, 2014 10:36pm UTC
   If your thighs touch, then you're one step closer to becoming a mermaid. Now, who's the real winner here?
   
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2. KissMyAxe*
   posted a quote
   May 20, 2014 8:50pm UTC
   Okay?
   Okay.
   Right in the feels.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
3. KissMyAxe*
   posted a quote
   May 17, 2014 5:53pm UTC
   *Just finished reading this book and I can't even*
   “You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection for you. All efforts to save me from you will fail.”
   ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
4. KissMyAxe*
   posted a quote
   April 29, 2014 11:50am UTC
   It's stormy out so baby let me in
   I can help I know I can
   Together we're never gonna fall
   Its stormy now but the sun's gonna shine again
   Even the worst storms gotta end
   We're better if we weather it all (yeah)
   Together we're never gonna fall
   
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5. KissMyAxe*
   posted a quote
   April 29, 2014 11:45am UTC
   I know that I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start.
   I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my personality?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
6. KissMyAxe*
   posted a quote
   April 25, 2014 11:51am UTC
   Just the start of it...Sunny Days,
   Party Nights, Hot Guys, Water Fights,
   Beachy Hair, Tanned Skin,
   Schools Out, Summers In!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
7. KissMyAxe*
   posted a quote
   April 21, 2014 4:46pm UTC
   “It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”
   ― Nicholas Sparks
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
8. KissMyAxe*
   posted a quote
   April 15, 2014 12:06pm UTC
   Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
   Be the good girl you always have to be
   Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
   Well, now they know...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
9. KissMyAxe*
   posted a quote
   April 15, 2014 11:59am UTC
   I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
   Then it hit me.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
10. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    March 20, 2014 3:51pm UTC
    1.do you think pudding solves most problems? Yes, yes I do.
    2.what does your cat want to be when it grows up? My cat is already a Fountain Pen Doctor.
    3.have you ever danced to Hanna Montana while wearing a cheese hat? No, but I have danced to Hannah Montana while wearing a fairy costume so it's like the same thing.
    4.do you like pickles? Not particularly
    5.have you ever seen a UFO? Does a frisbee that I thought was a UFO count?
    6.can you say irish wrist watch while patting your head and rubbing your stomach? Only if you want me to have brain damage.
    7.do you STILL like pickles? Nope still not that good
    8.do you like fluffy bunnies? Yes, I do. Infact I love them so much I'm allergic.
    9.have you ever dropped someone elses tooth brush and didn't tell them? LOL YES...but it wasn't an accident.
    10.have you ever been to mars? Noooopppeee
    11.have you ever had the urge to eat root beer flavored chapstick? Only 24/7
    12.do you like marry Poppins? SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS
    13.ever notice how targets brand up&up looks like down&down when turned upside down? I have no clue to what language you are speaking to me.
    14.do you believe in mermaids? HELLZ TO THE YEAH!!
    15.are you sure you still like pickles I am definatley sure that your question is irrelevant in life.
    16.are you stalking nick Jonas? I-I'm good at wasting time...wait what?
    17.do you ever wish you were a mushroom? Only if cows didn't eat me.
    18.if puppies were chocolate would you eat them? Of course not...or would I?
    19.have you ever put gum in someones hair for fun? Maybeee..
    20.nutealla is the food of gods right? That would be correct.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
11. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    March 20, 2014 10:31am UTC
    Story of my life.
    Hans: My Lady?
    Anna: This is awkward. Not that you're awkward. But just because we're...I'm awkward. You're gorgeous. Wait, what?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
12. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    March 18, 2014 12:37pm UTC
    When you get a hot new student at your school.
    All the Wh*res:* In pelican voice off of finding nemo* MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
13. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    March 13, 2014 10:38am UTC
    lolsotrue
    I'm not saying you're a wh*re, but if your vag had a password it would be 1234...
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
14. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    March 12, 2014 6:37pm UTC
    The first hug must have been SO awkward...
    'What are you doing? Why are you holding me?'
    'Shhh, just trust me.'
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
15. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2014 1:49pm UTC
    Cow Tipping...
    Okay, so I am going to tell you about how on my sixteenth birthday about 7 or 8 of my friends got left in a cow pasture at about 10 O'Clock at night with cow poop all over us.
    It started out like any one of my birthday's we were hanging out outside grilling and eating cake and all of that good stuff. Well, when it got close to the end of the night my dad and his friend forrest started talking about how when they were younger they used to go cow tipping all of the time and how they loved it. SO, of course hearing that we all wanted to go. My dad and Forrest finally agreed so me and my friends, Carly, Tiffany, Hannah, Andrew, Austin, Mandi, and Madison, plus my dad and Forrest all piled into a car where we were smushed all together. My dad drove us around for like 20 mins. in the country before he stopped and told us to get out. We all piled out and went underneath the barbed fence. When my dad didn't come under with us, we asked why, and he and Forrest told us that since it was our first time he wanted us to do it on our own. So we all get under and all of a sudden we here the freaking car DRIVE AWAY!!!! THEY LEFT US!! Then, all I here is Carly screaming because she has cow poop underneath her shorts, and we realize that there was no such thing as cow tipping. So we start walking, but only after Mandi and Austin try to tip a cow... We walk for about ten mins., when we are about to turn a corner all of a sudden Forrest and my dad jump out of the bushes and scare the crap out of us!!! When we get back into the car we realize that every single one of us has poop somewhere on our body.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
16. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2014 11:36am UTC
    She's dancing alone, I'm ready to go but she's so
    (Lost in stereo, lost in stereo)
    She's out of control, so beautiful
    (Lost in stereo, lost in stereo)
    And I've been waiting for so long but she'll never know
    I'm losing hope 'cause she's so
    (Lost in stereo, lost in stereo)
    --Lost in Stereo, All Time Low
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 14 points
17. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    February 3, 2014 12:27pm UTC
    I’m bleeding out
    So if the last thing that I do
    Is bring you down
    I’ll bleed out for you
    So I bare my skin
    And I count my sins
    And I close my eyes
    And I take it in
    I’m bleeding out
    I’m bleeding out for you, for you.
    ---Bleeding Out, Imagine Dragons
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
18. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    January 30, 2014 4:00pm UTC
    Straight but not Narrow
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
19. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    January 28, 2014 12:20pm UTC
    You got one foot out the door
    And choking on the other
    Always think there's something more
    It's just around the corner
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
20. KissMyAxe*
    posted a quote
    January 21, 2014 10:28am UTC
    Did you here about the guy who lost his whole left side?
    He’s alright now!
    hahahahaha
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 13 points

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