The assumption is that the alternative to self-injury is "acting normally," but on the contrary . . . the alternative to self-injury is total loss of control and possibly suicide. It becomes a forced choice from among limited options.
I'm just so tired. I'm so tired of waking up every morning with a heavy heart and lump in my throat. I'm so tired of seeing people happy when I can't remember what happy feels like. I'm so tired of going down to my room every night feeling empty and sad. I'm so tired of laying in bed trying to fight off the tears. I'm so tired of my haunted dreams. I'm just so tired. goodnight.
When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.
i climbed the ladder to the stars yesterday morning- i thought they meant enlightenment- but all they did was burn me. my ashes floated (idly) through the space-perhaps- time continuum, until they landed [without fanfare, i might add] on a memory i painted in kindergarten: the colors bled into one another under my untotored hand. i watched it fly away over three cloudy skies.