Suicide
I think about it all the time. It would be so easy to just end all of this pain, suffering, and self hate that I feel on a daily basis. No more depression, no more cutting, just ignorant bliss. I don't know what will happen, but what I do know is that it will be better than the way I'm living right now. I can't live with who I am. I am living in constant hell, and it's killing me; it's slowly driving me insane. So the real question is: how will I do it? There are so many options: hanging, suffocation, drowning, slitting my wrists, overdose, jupming, electrocution, and so many more. I've written so many suicide notes in the past years, and I've never actually gone through with it. Suicide is NOT the coward's way out. A person has to be going through the worst physical and emotional pain imaginable to even think about ending their own life. And I've finally gotten to that point. I'm hanging onto a small strand of hope that maybe my life will get better. But my hope is wearing thin, and soon that strand will break. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. Who knows? But I will be brave enough to do what I've had planned for so many years.