Bittersweet Relief
Chapter one..
When you think you found that one person that makes your heart skip a beat everytime you look at him..well I found him. He might not know I exsist, but I know he does. The way he makes me feel..I cant even descirbe it..I love him with all my heart and soul. It hurts so much to love someone and not have them love you back..When I look at him my whole world freezes and in that moment everything feels real..like he is looking at me the way I am looking at him..but he isn't. He is looking at his girlfriend..Asha.
I hate her. Everything she is, is everything I want to be. Her gorgeous long blonde hair..her twinkling blue eyes..her long spidery legs. She has Blaine..and thats what bothers me so much about her. She gets the perfect life..and what do I get? Nothing. I wish she was mean so I could hate her..but I just cant. She has been nothing but nice to me so I have no reason to envy her..
So I dream..of a better place, where I can be free. Where I can pretend like my family cares about me and a world were he looks at me the way he looks at her..thats what dance is for me..an escape. Everytime I dance the music the music drowns out my pain. But eventually I have to wake up..and thats the hardest part, knowing that its all just a dream..
Today was going to be different, I was going to be different. I looked completely different..and when I looked in the mirror I hardly recognized myself..but if this is whats going to get his attention then i'd dress this way for the rest of my life.
When I arrived at school, I remembered what day it was. Today was the day we would all start campaigning for class president. I had considered running till I saw the people I would be up against. Of course Asha was running..with her on the ballot who would choose me..
"Hey Alexandria, vote for me!" Asha said in annoyingly high voice.
"Will do, Asha." I said with a small smile.
Then Blaine started walking over, looking as cute as ever.
"Blaine hang these up for me?" Asha said handing him a box full with posters.
"Sure babe, anything for you."
**gagging**
Okay thats cool, just pretend like im not here.
Then I noticed my best friend Tyler coming over.
"Alexandra, come on. We need to get to class soon."
"Okayy, bye guys.." I said walking away with Tyler.
They seemed not to care that I had left.
"Thanks Tyler." I said giving him a warm smile.
"No problem." He said taking the books out of my hand.
I pulled down my sleeve but it was to late he saw..suddenly his face expression changed into a concern look..almost hurt.
"Alexandria you said you stopped.." his eyes were ice cold.
No words could describe how sorry I felt for betraying his trust. I promised I wouldn't. I ran into the bathroom and pulled out a clean new blade. All the pain I was feeling had been relieved, by one quick cut with a blade. As I watched the blood drip off my wrist, it felt as if the pain was leaving too..It feels like everything in the world is perfect and calm in the arms of a blade. My blood became my tears. As the endorphins kicked in I felt bittersweet relief.
If you liked my story fav it. I didnt write this to get favs I wrote this for myself. If you like it fav it and ill write more if you guys dont Ill stop posting them and write them just for myself..and NO i dont cut aha. (: <3 Thank you for reading !
vddog246
