I was always the one who waited. And I waited for him, like no one before. Every night I would lay in my bed, covering myself in blankets, imagining his hands around me. And slowly falling into sleep, I was overwhelmed from all our memories, touches, smiles... But then I realized. It was enough. He crossed the limit. All those memories became nightmares or dreams that will never become true. That's why I gave up. I stopped waiting for him, even tho I was best at it. mq
There's no more sleepless nights, texts in the middle of the night, missed calls, hidden looks - nothing. There's no drunken feeling that will encourage me to call you, no love that will bring me back to you, no memories that will make me want you all over again. In last sentences to you, I want to write the things I never dared to tell you before... - I loved you, even when I swore I don't. - Your every cold word hurt me. I was acting strong, so I just smiled and the same night cried myself to sleep. - I was ready to forgive you everything, every ugly thing you said. When everyone left, I was still on your side. - I was ready to run away with you, whenever, wherever; leaving everything behind me. - You were the only guy who could have me anytime, play with me like a doll, throw me away like a toy. - Because of you, I learned that I can give everything and get nothing back. I could get everything I want, but not what I need. - You were special, stubborn, cold. You were so many things, but you were my favorite. - You were... But you aren't anymore. mq
if you really knew me... you would know i have never gotten the guy i like. i fall for them and end up flat on my face. i know it's never going to really happen for me. there will always be someone better. and if it happens? it will be a miracle. people wonder why am i always alone, it's because i'm the girl who can never win.
if you really knew me... you'd know that sometimes i need more than just "i love you", you'd know that i want to feel beautiful, you'd know that i want you to tell me straight out how you feel about me, how you feel about us. if you really knew me, you'd know that i love you with all my heart, but i just want you to show me that you love me too. i want you to show me there's no girl who can compare to me, no one else for you. i want to be the only one. sadly, i'm not, nor anything of this will ever happen.
if you really knew me... you'd know i miss you so much it hurts. we spoke everyday, all the time, told each other everything and suddenly it just stopped. i love you... not in the sexual way but in the friend way as in i really care about you and you're like a family member, i'd do anything for you. i'll always be there for you and if you really knew me you'd know not to leave me like everyone else. please come back.
if you really knew me... you'd know there's a part of me no one knows about that's growing stronger every day. But that part is sick, twisted, evil and dark. And I'm so ready to give up to it, i mean why does it even matter when i'm already dead inside.