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Status: Face the sunshine, and the shadows will fall behind you :)

Member Since: 9 Jul 2010 03:43pm

Last Seen: 7 Nov 2019 01:13am

user id: 115596

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Hey there! If you're reading this, it looks like you've stumbled upon what's basically my high school diary. It's been many years since I wrote the quotes on here and it's almost surreal to think about how much has changed since then.

Looking back, I wish I could tell myself that I was on to something whenever I hopefully thought about my future. I'd tell younger me that I'm proud of her for all the hard work she's put in and that it'll all be worth the effort someday, many of the things she dreamed of achieving have turned out great thanks to that. I'd tell her that she definitely deserves to be around people who love and appreciate her, just like her best friends did (and still do!). And I'd also say that I know she struggles a lot with her feelings for boys who never seem to like her back, but that she'll meet a great guy when the time is right. It won't always be easy, but she'll get the relationship she's always dreamed of having, and he'll be cuter than all her other crushes even if it's hard for her to imagine!

High school had its ups and downs, now that I'm older I look back on the fun memories with friends and the funny events that always seemed to happen around campus. But I never really wish I could go back to it, because just as I suspected back then, there's so much more out there in the world and I had only experienced a small sliver of what life had to offer. I wish I could give my younger self a big hug, buy her ice cream and reassure her everything will be okay! I think if she met me she'd admire me very much and be amazed by all the things she's accomplished since her Witty days. If you're a high schooler reading this, I hope you can somehow believe your future self would want to do the same for you right now, too. She loves you very much and believes in you more than you'd ever know!

I hope you enjoy reading through my quotes! The early 2010s were definitely a fun time to be a teenager!

  1. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2014 8:08pm UTC
    A note for the inevitable next time:
    You want a guy that'll text you first sometimes, or at least more often than just occasionally. You want someone that's as curious about you as you are about him, a guy that's eager to make plans with you sooner than later, literally. You want someone who's wondering what your voice sounds like - or, better yet, makes sure he finds out before he ever has a chance to wonder. You want a guy who won't find much appeal in other girls because he'd rather be getting to know you than having his half-conscious mouth on someone else's. You want a guy that never leaves you questioning how he feels about you, or whether or not you could ever possibly have a real chance with him.
    You want something better than this.

  2. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    March 29, 2014 1:07am UTC
    (yep I came back here to write something!)
    torn between two, who do you choose...
    the one you described to a close friend over the phone
    as "he's just alright"
    or the one where there seems to be a little more
    I don't know how to explain
    or what this even is, really
    but I think it's a little better than "just alright"
    because I've seen enough of "just alright"
    and I've also seen better
    and I don't know exactly where you fall
    or who you even are, really
    but I think I can give this a shot
    can I hold my breath for thirty-six hours?
    you spoke of home as if
    it was poison on your tongue
    that murdered every last dream
    you ever had
    you spoke as if this was some sort
    of death sentence
    as if the mere thought could kill
    as if this was death
    but if this is death, perhaps it's heaven
    so I held out my hand and said
    "welcome to the afterlife"
    I'm sitting in the dark of my room alone
    I feel like there's a ghost
    but my mind is playing tricks
    not necessarily because I don't believe in ghosts
    but because I know this one
    (if real)
    would never nod his head to this
    my mind is playing tricks
    and there's something telling me
    that I don't know everything I think I know
    something tells me
    to go on
    I recalled the day for you
    where a familiar new friend held out his hand
    he said,
    "welcome home"
    I'm sitting in the dark of my room
    with an old friend
    or perhaps with two
    something tells me someone's watching
    and as I write this I remember hearing that song on the radio
    are you
    proud of me?
    are you happy for me?
    I don't know what you think...
    I feel like you're happy
    I don't know
    I can't say that
    but I do feel like I give you hope
    do I give you hope?
    does this give you hope?
    will you watch me go home?
    today was the day
    the pessimist met the optimist
    and a girl spoke with two
    but for some hard-to-explain reason
    feels more drawn to one
    I don't know what anything is
    today was the day
    we looked at the glass
    and some part of me wondered,
    "will it ever break?"
    I don't want this too badly
    for fear of losing
    you don't want this too badly
    for fear you've already lost
    but I am a familiar new friend
    (five times over)
    and we are on our way home
    and if this is darkness,
    let our souls shine
    let them guide our way
    (this feels incomplete, sorry)

  3. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2013 12:51am UTC
    * doesn't mean I stopped caring

  4. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    December 18, 2013 8:06pm UTC
    Did you do this for me,
    or did I do this for you?

  5. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    December 14, 2013 12:39pm UTC
    That awkward moment when
    the only thing you get an A on
    is an online anxiety test

  6. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    November 20, 2013 10:39pm UTC
    It's weird to think that just a few months ago
    ---------- we used to text every night until 3 AM
    and now I roll my eyes at your simple "Hey"
    It's funny how a few months back -----------
    I'd proudly wear the ring you gave me
    ------- and now I wouldn't give it a second thought
    if it fell into a pit of fire -----------
    It's crazy how fast you can change your mind
    --------- when you see someone's true colors
    and once you do... --------------
    there's no going back to monochrome.

  7. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2013 7:16pm UTC
    if there's any part of me that thinks you'd make a good couple;
    it's only because I think you're both on the same level. And I don't mean that in a good way. I've only met her once, and I doubt she even knew who I was. We were walking in a hallway and I held a door open for her; she gave me a dirty glare like "what is wrong with you?" and walked through the other door, opening it herself. She didn't bother saying thank you. She smiled, but it was one of those "I'm too good for you" sort of smiles, as if the fact she goes to a prep school makes her superior to me and my ways. Pssh. As if she's the better one here. And you - well, to be honest, you're not much better than she is. Because sure, we used to talk, we used to be friendly. I found you cute and you found me cute. Only I didn't find everything about you cute. I never thought it was cute how you felt all of your school friends were superior to all else. I never found it cute how you became lazy with our so-called "friendship," or how you dropped me like I meant nothing, even after you said you cared - oh, that's right, because you didn't. I'm the kind of person to hold the door, you're the kind of person to shut it in someone's face. You know what? I honestly feel like she's better for you than I'd ever be. Because she deserves you, while I deserve better. ♥

  8. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    September 24, 2013 11:09pm UTC
    the thought of you both terrifies and intrigues me
    at the same exact time

  9. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    September 14, 2013 1:29am UTC
    Let's say that you could personify all of my different thoughts. Right now, you have every little bit of myself, fighting against each other.
    Welcome to The Hunger Games.
    Everyone is fighting. And in reality, no one wins.
    In the end, it came down to two girls.
    One of them had no voice but a lot of hope.
    "Hope is the only thing stronger than fear," she was told.
    The other girl, she had a lot of hope too. But it was a different kind of hope.
    Both had the wisdom that all would be okay.
    One believed that all would be okay, and she'd eventually, someday, possibly end up with what she had thought she wanted.
    So she waited... but in silence, as she had no other choice.
    The other girl, however - she had hope that the future would bring better things.
    She believed in "something better."
    That was her hope.
    And she was banking on it.
    She also decided that she would live in the moment as much as possible, knowing that life was constantly trying to shove itself down her throat.
    In fact, both girls often shoved the ideals of the future down their own throats so much, to the point where they'd nearly choke on it.
    The second girl eventually decided that the future wasn't worth more pain than necessary, so she stopped forcing it.
    The first girl kept going; tried to claim she wasn't hurt.
    But it was hard to make this claim when the future was so far down her throat, it choked her out of a voice...
    ...and killed her, leaving the other girl the sole victor.
    So, yes, that second girl - the sole survivor -
    she was never hurt, because she stopped letting these ideals bother her.
    But the only way to do so was to believe in - hope for - something better.
    In the end, that wasn't hard to do, as these ideals clearly weren't good enough for her -
    she was worth more.
    Seeing as these ideals never served her, she dropped them.
    As for the first girl... she had allowed them to seal her fate.
    She had lost control.
    The other - by giving up - had only gained.
    Because the truth is, she never really gave up.
    She just let go; thankful, simply, to breathe.

  10. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2013 2:35pm UTC
    you're just going to forget about me, aren't you?
    I'll probably end up just another name on your friends list. Another contact in your phone, one that you'll never text again. That picture of us will be nothing but a mere memory to you. The conversations that lasted until 2 AM will be long gone. I'll just be a symbol of carefree summer days, of a time when, if only for a little bit, the future didn't matter - it didn't matter where any of us were going, it only mattered that we were there then, in those moments. Because as the future arrives, piece by piece, it's going to bury me underneath. Maybe I'll be on your mind, somewhere - but trapped beneath everything else. And I understand, because honestly, it all does matter more than me - your future is more important than some girl you barely know. And I get that, because I see things the same way. But why can't I co-exist alongside all the other thoughts, as you do alongside mine? Why can't you have your cake and eat it too; why can't you go all Hannah Montana and live the best of both worlds - exist in the present moment, yet always have one foot forward? All I know is that I constantly have at least some part of me that's not exactly all there, but is instead lost inside of a daydream - often vague, yet hopeful. I'm never entirely in the moment. Maybe you understood this; maybe this is why you advised me to "take it one day at a time." Maybe you realized that I don't see life day-by-day but rather in large, roughly cut chunks of time; in a constant state of longing - not for the past, but for what hasn't happened yet, for what doesn't exist. In a way you're a part of that, because there really is no you and I right now, is there? You're just a possibility, a maybe, a could-be-but-isn't-quite-yet. Maybe you advised me as you did because in a sense you're the same way - constantly trying to immerse yourself in the future. But on the other hand, you're also the opposite of that, because you seem to always enjoy the moments as they pass - savor each and every one like a cookie cake that melts in your mouth, piece by piece. As it arrives. Maybe one of the reasons why I want you is because I'd love to live my life like that myself, even though I never fully do. Because I'm a planner, sometimes a worrier, and definitely an overthinker. And if that's bad, then I guess I'm the worst. But it's hard for me not to be like this when I'm literally in an environment that spoon-feeds me anxiety as a twisted form of nourishment. Senior year, yes. Neither of us quite knows what it holds. But if anything, that should be exactly why you should remember me, and actually definitely try to be with me - because in the midst of all the pressure, we're going to need a few carefree moments - where, if only for a little bit, the future won't matter. Does it really matter where we're going? Let's just be here, right now. ♥

  11. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2013 7:33pm UTC
    in the end we ended up with different people
    and we were both happy
    *just not together*

  12. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    July 4, 2013 12:39am UTC
    it's not like we can speak with ghosts
    but if we could, I'd talk to you
    I'd ask what you think about how I feel
    but feel ashamed immediately after,
    as I'd feel it'd be an insult
    compared to what you had,
    which was actually something real.
    I don't know if you'd judge me
    but I'd trust that you wouldn't
    and that you'd only want what's best
    and with that said,
    that you'd point me toward the future
    and tell me that there are better things ahead
    real things
    maybe then again I'd feel sorry for asking
    because your future already came and went
    but maybe you'd just give me a kind smile
    and remind me that mine still hasn't
    and that I have a lot to look forward to
    and that I should make the most of it all
    while I still can
    it's not like ghosts can watch over us
    but if they could, I'd trust that you'd be watching
    and if that's to be the case,
    I'll make sure that you see something wonderful
    and if that's the case,
    I wouldn't mind running away
    from false hopes
    right now
    and never,
    turning back.

  13. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    July 4, 2013 12:27am UTC
    “Maybe when two people
    aren't right for each other
    it's because fate
    was in the mood
    for a little self-destruction.”

  14. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2013 11:32pm UTC
    Things to remember:
    * There will always be someone better.
    * Boys are often forgetful. Try not to take this too personally.
    * Try to love through all the chaos. There will always be chaos.
    * Some people are reckless with other people's feelings. Don't be one of those people.
    * He's probably not actually looking at you from across the room, but you'll see what you want to see.
    * He isn't thinking about you right now.
    * That dream you had where he confessed his feelings for you was just that - a dream.
    * Everything happens for at least one reason, but often for more than that.
    * You deserve to be with someone who legitimately cares about you.
    * Whatever is worrying you right now, you'll be laughing about once you're in college - if not before.
    (Interpret this how you will.)

  15. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2013 4:25pm UTC
    but I'm not too concerned
    because I know that this won't even matter after a few more weeks. Your life will go on and so will mine. You'll have a new beginning in college. I won't be a part of that, and that's okay. I'll be enjoying my final year of high school, lounging around in my senior sweats and daydreaming about the future as I fill out my apps. You won't be a part of that, and that's okay. But in a way, I guess you'll always be a part of me. Not literally, and not constantly; but you did influence me in more ways than one, and I can definitely say I've learned and grown from you. But I already know how we're going to end. Well, if you can call it an ending, because we never really had anything together anyway, except for maybe a few inside jokes and a summer or two in common. But I'm ready for whenever it is that you end up walking out of my life for good - or at least for a long while. Because I've gone through this before, and I've made it through. Knowing you was fun, even if I only got to know you a little bit. I guess it was an adventure of sorts. But I'm ready for all the adventures to follow, and I'd rather have a ton more to look forward to than to be forever stuck here with you. I want to see the world and experience a lot of things. And meet and get to know a wide variety of people, each with worlds of their own to experience. You're not bad, but wouldn't it be lame if your world was the only one I got to see? And with that in mind... I'll be ready to set you free. ♥

  16. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2013 3:47pm UTC
    this might have not ended up as I wanted,
    but life's too short to sit around forgotten

  17. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2013 1:09am UTC
    Understand that some people are willing to kiss people that they don't really love.
    She is one of them.

  18. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    June 5, 2013 10:56pm UTC
    "No use throwing your fishes in a basket with a hole in it."

  19. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    June 5, 2013 10:50pm UTC
    the idea of falling in love with your best friend is cute, but don’t ever feel obligated to do so - even if he really likes you - unless you really, truly, deeply love him like that yourself. You can be his best friend all you want, but if you don’t love him then don’t you dare ever make him think that you do, don’t take advantage of how he feels… let him find someone else instead, someone who could possibly maybe end up loving him just as much as he believes he loves you right now.
    Someone like me, perhaps.

  20. valerieexrainbowss valerieexrainbowss
    posted a quote
    February 16, 2013 11:26pm UTC
    Whenever I look at you,
    I remember that time passes,
    feelings change, and things get better.
    You're an ironic source of hope.


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