hi. my name is adele. i am 16 years old and today is my last day. there's nothing left for me on this earth, and i simply don't want to be here anymore. now, i know i'll probably get a few comments saying something like "you're young" or "don't do it, i know how you feel!" well guess what? you don't know a damn thing about how i feel. or about what i deal with on a daily basis. so don't try to tell me that you do. no one will ever fully grasp what everyone else is feeling. i'm tired of going to school every day just to get bullied and made fun of. i hate walking into a place i'm really not welcomed, yet try so hard to fit in. i didn't ask to do the weird things i do. i try my hardest to get good grades, yet that isn't good enough, now is it? i want to impress my parents, but trying my best, isn't good enough for them. the expectations of everyone is so frikin hard to deal with. i just can't seem to do it anymore. having to deal with the same crap day in and day out. having to be someone i'm not. i'm tired of it. it really doesn't matter how many times i go into the hospital to get help, i always end up feeling like this. i'm not ready to testify to the bad things that have happened to me, or to even face the man it happened with. i'm tired of the lies i hear daily about how life is worth it, or how things will get better if i give it time. because i've been waiting years and years to be truly happy, but it never comes. it will never truly come in my eyes. happiness is fake, and i'm done living a joke.
I do self harm, but I don't cut myself. I go on Facebook, and check his wall, looking at all of the cute messages they send back and forth, count the "I love you"s and memorize every detail of their photos together. And I guarentee, it hurts more than any razor blade.
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