swimswim98's Quotes

swimswim98
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 7:30pm UTC

Did you know that the reason staircases in Fire Stations are twisty is because the horses that used to pull the fire wagons eventually learned how to climb up straight stairs?
Well, now you do.
Godspeed.

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swimswim98
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 7:57pm UTC

"If you eat ice.....do you poop liquid"
~My 11 year old brother

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swimswim98
posted a quote
May 8, 2013 5:36pm UTC

How do you make an octopus giggle ten giggles?
You give him tenticles.....
(ten tickles..... hah)

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swimswim98
posted a quote
April 22, 2013 8:07pm UTC

1. Search "Ship My Pants" on YouTube.
2. Watch
3. Thank me later.

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swimswim98
posted a quote
March 8, 2013 12:28pm UTC

Disney Movies, Nectarines, and History Homework.
THIS is what snow days are about.

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swimswim98
posted a quote
February 21, 2013 7:18pm UTC

"You pile up enough tomorrows and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays."
~Professor Harold Hill
The Music Man 1962

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swimswim98
posted a quote
February 10, 2013 9:51pm UTC

Teenage girl: "There's no food..."
Stomach: *dying whale noise*
Whale: "There's no plankton..."
Stomach: *teenage girl noise*

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swimswim98
posted a quote
February 10, 2013 9:31pm UTC

I should just stop writing my
name on my math homework.
My teacher should be abe to tell
from the dried tears all over it
that it's mine.
Format by: fake_a_smile

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swimswim98
posted a quote
February 9, 2013 9:41pm UTC

Author: "...She didn't want to eat dinner because she doesn't like chicken noodle soup..."
My English Teacher: Even though it doesn't clearly say it in the book, we can infer that 17 years ago she encountered an attack from chickens on a trip to Africa, visiting her Great Aunt, who was dying of pnuemonia.
Twitter

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swimswim98
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 5:44pm UTC

"Everything I love is either illegal, immoral, or fattening".

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swimswim98
posted a quote
January 26, 2013 5:32pm UTC

Me and my mom were listening to music on the way home
Mom: Is this Justin Bieber?
Me: No, mom. This is a girl singing.
Mom: There's no difference...
Me: lmao

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swimswim98
posted a quote
January 22, 2013 8:25pm UTC

The scariest phrase known to man-kind...
Age 10: I'll tell the teacher!
Age 15: I'll put that picture on facebook!

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swimswim98
posted a quote
January 19, 2013 7:15pm UTC

Guy: I love U.
Girl: Aw :) Really?!
Guy: Yep... Its my favorite vowel.
~Twitter

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swimswim98
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 5:16pm UTC

Me: I'm so fat...
Friend: No you're not! You're beautiful! I love you!
Me: I'm so fat...
Best Friend: I know.

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swimswim98
posted a quote
January 11, 2013 7:29pm UTC

I can only imagine how the 11 year olds today are going to complain about the next crop of 11 year olds.
"OMG 11 year olds are so spoiled these days. Like, when i was 11, I only had an iPhone and UGGS. And I was happy. Ugh!"

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swimswim98
posted a quote
January 11, 2013 7:07pm UTC

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I would like to take this time to point out that I have 69 followers
Sincerely,
Yes, I am that immature

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swimswim98
posted a quote
January 11, 2013 6:29pm UTC

Me: Mom, can I go to the mall?
Mom: You are NEVER home! You are staying in and doing homework young lady!
Me: But mom.......I'm like a peacock, you gotta let me fly!!
Mom: Ay, ay, ay! If I wanna hear you talk, I'll shove my arm up your butt and work your mouth like a puppet!
Me: Ohmahgawd I love you

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swimswim98
posted a quote
January 2, 2013 8:17pm UTC

Mindblow
Step 1. Scroll up to the top of the page.
Step 2. Put your cursor over the word "Witty" in the grey bar.
Step 3. You're welcome.

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swimswim98
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 3:35pm UTC

You give your friend a piece of gum during school
Me: You didnt SEE anything, you didnt HEAR anything, and you sure as hell didnt get it from ME. Understand?

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swimswim98
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 3:30pm UTC

Reasons to stand up...
1) You have to go somewhere
2)You have to get something
3) To stretch
4) You are the real Slim Shady
nmq ~Twitter

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