Your room's a mess. You can't see the floor; it's covered by dirty clothes and clean clothes and the boots you wore two weekends ago and bags and lamps and paper and books and so much other stuff you can't even start to look at. Your hair's greasy because you haven't washed it in longer thank you can remember, maybe last Sunday, maybe the Thursday before. Your nails are bitten down, your beds bleeding, your cuticles frayed. Your skin is a disaster, screaming at you in blemishes for all the unwashed nights, the quick-fire mornings, and the nail-scrape-panic you've put it through. You don't know how you got here. You're starting think you've been here the whole time.
Just listen to me, baby, listen to me right now. Brush your teeth, and take your time. Clean every ridge between the teeth in your mouth. And take a shower; short or long, shampoo or body wash or nothing but water, whatever you can manage, and change back into your two-week-old pyjamas if you have to.. Get two plasters and put them on the two most painful fingers; not the thumbs, but try give them a chance to heal and rest. Straighten the sheet on your bed. Stretch up the corner so it covers the matress, even if you can't bring yourself to fold it over the whole corner.
That's it, sweetie. That's enough. If that's all you can do today, stop there. Don't push yourself, but remember that everything you just did is done now. You've done that much, and it's something.
It won't cure you. It won't make the pain or the hurt go away. It won't bring colour back, not by itself. But taking care of yourself, even in these small things, adds up. It makes the night bearable. It lets you go to sleep peacefully. It quietens the noise in your head, even if just for one night. You can repeat it tomorrow, or do less, or do more, and make tomorrow a bit more bearable, too. And the next day. And the day after that.
D o n ' t f o r g e t t h a t y o u r w h o l e l i f e i s a t o m o r r o w a f t e r a t o m o r r o w .
You don't need to have the big things figured out. You can take it day by day, hour by hour, night by night, thought by thought. You can do that, and that will get you through it. One tomorrow, trust me, will be a tomorrow when you're okay.
Until that's today, keep pushing through the days, because you w i l l get there.
PrimarilyParamore*
Guyy
SunburstHorizon
Goldielocks11
HeHasMyHeartt
thatsacex3
Steve
musicure
dontsellyourselfshort
seafoam*
alanis
yourcool
Buzz_LightYear
king*
Amenah