squishy

squishy
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 1:27am UTC

11:00 oclock with friends:
night just started
11:00 when your supposed to be awake babysitting:
zzzzzzzz

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squishy
posted a quote
October 28, 2012 9:07pm UTC

there should be notifications when some one comments on a quote you have commented on. Steve? Do your thing

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squishy
posted a quote
October 20, 2012 1:35am UTC

that feeling when...
you can actually feel your heart break

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squishy
posted a quote
October 20, 2012 1:33am UTC

that feeling when...
you can't figure out what hurts.
maybe its a tummy ache, maybe your hungry, maybe its cramps or maybe your sore. who the he11 knows???

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squishy
posted a quote
October 17, 2012 2:15am UTC

Advice to all those girls who have never been kissed, never had a boyfriend, never been called beautiful:
HE IS NOT WORTH IT IF HE DOESN'T APPRECIATE YOU!!!
1. If you like a guy DONT tell him you like him. FLIRT!!! If he doesnt get the hint and ask you out then he is not smart enough for you.
2. if your too afraid to talk to your crush the how will you talk to him when he is your boyfriend? Crush on someone you are comortable with!
3. Lastly, TODAY YOU ARE YOU THAT IS TRUER THAN TRUE THERE IS NO ONE ALIVE WHO IS YOUER THAN YOU!!!! (-dr. suess) Never ever let a guy make you think you are worthless. I was never called pretty, hot, or beautiful until i met knew people in high school. Sometimes the people around you are just to used to your hotness and dont point it out anymore. So be confident! Confidence is more attractive than makeup

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squishy
posted a quote
August 28, 2012 12:08am UTC

eating a banana while walking down the street is like doing a public orgy;)

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squishy
posted a quote
August 19, 2012 2:05am UTC

Okay ladies, let's all agree on one thing,
when you are at a party or a dance
and some ugly/fat guy starts grinding on your bestie.
Tell her to
GET THE F0CK OFF OF HIM!!

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squishy
posted a quote
July 19, 2012 1:45pm UTC

Me: *reads top quote*
Me: ... that's not even funny
Me: ...wait...
Me: 999 faves?
Me: *clicks add to faves*
Me: OMFG I WAS THE MOTHER EFFING 1000th FAVE!!!!!!!!! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!
nmf

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squishy
posted a quote
July 18, 2012 5:13pm UTC

Me: *reads a top quote*
Me: :l
Me: That's not even funny
Me:
Me:
Me:999 faves?
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: *clicks add to favorites*
Me: OMFG I WAS THE 1000th LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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squishy
posted a quote
July 13, 2012 12:29am UTC

Dear Microsoft Word,
I'm pretty sure I spelled my name correctly
...
wait...

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squishy
posted a quote
July 13, 2012 12:00am UTC

You: took 20 minutes to text me back?
Me:'ll show you. I'll take 21 minutes
Me: 1
Me: 2
Me: 3
Me: Urg! I can't do it!
Me: Send!

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squishy
posted a quote
June 9, 2012 8:04pm UTC

What if you phone camera was always recording
...
I'm never texting in the bathroom again

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squishy
posted a quote
May 30, 2012 3:53pm UTC

Saturday 9 June
Dear witty members,
On Saturday 9th June, people should have an Old Fashioned Witty day.
No 1D quotes or quotes - just good old fashioned quotes to cheer you up or that have meaning.
Do you agree?
Repost this if you do.

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squishy
posted a quote
May 24, 2012 2:27am UTC

#1
I wan't THAT drunk...
Dude you stole my kitchen knife and mad Kell throw vegtables at you. You kept yelling "I am the fruit ninja!"
Was I any good?
no.

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squishy
posted a quote
May 24, 2012 1:59am UTC

Koala: I have all of the necessary koalafications
Elephant: Your koalafications are irrelephant
Lion: Don't listen to him, he's lion
Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable.
Horse: Yea, it's making my voice horse
Owl: Oh please horse, when do you ever say anything smart? Don't worry owl wait
Hawk: Owch! That's hawkward!!!
Giraffe: I'm out of here, you guys are giraffing me crazy!!!
Alpaca: Alpaca your things.
Minnow: Let minnow when your ready!
nmf

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squishy
posted a quote
May 19, 2012 8:42pm UTC

Me
Soooo, anyone have any idea what to do for my birthday?
I've already heard laser tagwhich let's be honest is hard to beat
11 minutes ago · Like · Comment
Joe
You could each go to a different car dealership, you know, the ones that give out free coffee and make you feel at home, and take the same model car out for a test drive (along with a smoothtalking salesman of course). The meet up with each other at a predetermined loctation like an arena or a small feild or some place like that. Then you park the cars in an inescapable ring. Force all of the salespeople into the ring with some fake but intimidating mideval weapons and tell them you will buy the car from whoever lives. It's cheaper than a movie and, hey, free coffee.
5 minutes ago · Like Comment
nmf.

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squishy
posted a quote
May 19, 2012 8:40pm UTC

Me
Soooo, anyone have any idea what to do for my birthday?
I've already heard laser tagwhich let's be honest is hard to beat
11 minutes ago · Like · Comment
Joe
You could each go to a different car dealership, you know, the ones that give out free coffee and make you feel at home, and take the same model car out for a test drive (along with a smoothtalking salesman of course). The meet up with each other at a predetermined loctation like an arena or a small feild or some place like that. Then you park the cars in an inescapable ring. Force all of the salespeople into the ring with some fake but intimidating mideval weapons and tell them you will buy the car from whoever lives. It's cheaper than a movie and, hey, free coffee.
5 minutes ago · Like Comment
nmf.

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squishy
posted a quote
May 3, 2012 6:54pm UTC

I used to come home after a terrible day and go on Witty...in 5 minutes everything was better.BUT NOW... I come home crying and I go on Witty and cry some more.You know why?Because people aren't thinking about how what they say hurts.Even though it's Witty it is still bullying.So like♥ this quote to sign the pledge toWatch Your Witty Wordsthen post a comment on what kind of bullying you see.The last step is to STOP the mean and hurtful quotes and comments.Make someone's day, don't ruin it.

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squishy
posted a quote
April 30, 2012 9:08pm UTC

*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you-Nevermind have a nice day, goodbye.
My mom's reaction=priceless.

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squishy
posted a quote
April 30, 2012 8:20pm UTC

That FML Moment When...
You are rocking out to an awesome (or 90's) song. Singing terribly at the top of your lungs with your when friend when... some "I'm better than everyone" b*tch comes in and start singing like a mothereffing angel.
Just me?
NMF

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