Witty Profiles

spence*

1. spence*
   posted a quote
   July 7, 2014 4:36pm UTC
   "no i don’t like disney it’s for kids" you need to bibbity bobbity back the f/ck up out of my life
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 102 points
2. spence*
   posted a quote
   July 7, 2014 4:32pm UTC
   do not let anyone make you feel like sh .it for putting yourself
   first you are the only person that is guaranteed to be with you throughout your whole life so you might as well have a loving relationship with yourself
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 104 points
3. spence*
   posted a quote
   May 3, 2014 2:35pm UTC
   I wonder how people describe me when they’re talking about me to someone who’s never met me
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 107 points
4. spence*
   posted a quote
   May 3, 2014 2:33pm UTC
   when my family went to disney world we went on the haunted mansion ride and this actor dressed as a skeleton came up to our cart and got right in my three year old brothers face and whispered “are you scared?” and my brother kissed him on the nose and the guy laughed so hard he had to leave
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 140 points
5. spence*
   posted a quote
   April 18, 2014 2:06pm UTC
   My mom 0.000052736 seconds after I open the fridge: Don't hold the fridge open so long
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 108 points
6. spence*
   posted a quote
   April 18, 2014 2:03pm UTC
   I question who my friends are everyday….that’s a sad way to live huh?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 67 points
7. spence*
   posted a quote
   April 18, 2014 2:03pm UTC
   *texts back 20 days later & picks up the conversation where we left off as if no time has passed and without an excuse*
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 90 points
8. spence*
   posted a quote
   April 18, 2014 1:57pm UTC
   The amount of hair I lose in the shower really concerns me
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 104 points
9. spence*
   posted a quote
   April 5, 2014 1:26pm UTC
   don’t f ck with people that have ugly pics of you
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 110 points
10. spence*
    posted a quote
    April 5, 2014 1:24pm UTC
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    👍 this is good · read the comments · 90 points
11. spence*
    posted a quote
    April 5, 2014 1:21pm UTC
    Why isnt there a 30 day free trail for being in a relationship with your crush so you can see how it plays out
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 113 points
12. spence*
    posted a quote
    March 22, 2014 1:08pm UTC
    “I dont care about looks”
    LIAR YOU’RE A LIAR
    YOU ARE LYING
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 127 points
13. spence*
    posted a quote
    March 22, 2014 1:06pm UTC
    "you have little boobs!" “wow you look really tired!" “you look sick" “you look mad" “i don’t like your outfit, you looked better in that other shirt" “your hair is really messy!" “wow you sure are eating a ton!" “did you just wake up?" “i liked your hair before you cut it!"
    stop
    pointing
    stuff
    like
    this
    out
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 135 points
14. spence*
    posted a quote
    March 21, 2014 1:16pm UTC
    "hello 911 i’d like to report a murder in th-" "haha, wow you’re a little snitch. hold on a sec. HEY DAVE, CHECK OUT THIS F CKING SNITCH ON LINE THREE"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 76 points
15. spence*
    posted a quote
    March 21, 2014 1:12pm UTC
    justin bieber: *kills 50 people*
    police: wtf
    justin bieber: i didnt know it was illegal
    police: haha it ok
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 108 points
16. spence*
    posted a quote
    March 17, 2014 2:10pm UTC
    Wear shirt two times: Dirty
    Wear hoodie every day for three months: Still clean.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 163 points
17. spence*
    posted a quote
    March 17, 2014 2:00pm UTC
    People get so caught up on one small thing they don't like, like their nose or thighs or tummy or something.
    Things like egg and baking powder go into a cake and those things are gross alone but the cake is pretty damn delicious
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 109 points
18. spence*
    posted a quote
    March 15, 2014 12:38pm UTC
    when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” and literally right now he came in the car with a slushie and i was like why didn't you get me one and he looked me dead in the eyes and said “remember when you were six”
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 161 points
19. spence*
    posted a quote
    March 15, 2014 12:35pm UTC
    Me:
    Parents:
    Me:
    Parents:
    Me: *puts earbuds in*
    Parents: iebdwibtifhd
    Me: what
    Parents: HDJEHDIFNE
    Me: what
    Me: *takes out earbuds*
    Parents:
    Parents:
    Me: *puts earbuds back in*
    Parents: jekdelwnfoehdir
    Me: what
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 129 points
20. spence*
    posted a quote
    March 11, 2014 2:15pm UTC
    That half-hearted struggle to stop your relatives from giving you money. “No no, really no, I won’t take it, please no…okay thanks.”
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 129 points

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