I used to believe this was destiny,
He sought me out we were meant to be,
As his mistress I longed for your life with him,
No hiding, no guilt, no sadness, no sin.
I used to long for all of his time,
Not just the few moments that were never mine,
The tears I cried out of loneliness,
Just the price I paid for his caress.
I used to think I could not go on,
Without his touch, his voice, his song,
I studied you, envied you, blamed you for this,
For having it all, sealed with his kiss.
But now I look back as the darkness sets in,
And I lie here and gather the strength from within,
I will no longer settle for second best,
I can no longer wonder, no longer guess.
I craved him so fiercely my heart would bleed,
Though I am wiser now, and I see his deceit,
I no longer wish to trade places with you,
With your rose colored glasses and a love so untrue.
I once assumed you had it all,
In his time of need, your name he calls,
Yet he looks in your eyes as he thinks of me,
And a love like his brings misery…
I used to lie awake at night,
And long for his arms to hold me tight,
That was long ago, when I lost my way,
Now I long to just forget… someday