Never too late to try
Chapter 7
You know that feeling where you're just lost? That feeling when you have nobody to hold you and you're just alone? That's what I felt, up in heaven. Watching my family mourn, hearing things I never heard from a totally different perspective. Up in the clouds by myself, watching from a distance. I saw my mother cry at my funeral. I saw my precious brother Tom keep his eyes glued to his feet; embarrassed, almost. A kind of hopelessness. I saw Aaron admit to killing Jessica and saw his audience in awe. He wasn't in trouble, which I don't get. It was in the past I guess. Aaron couldn't sleep that night. He was crying, something I've never seen him do myself. He kept choaking and gasping for air like an infant baby; whailing in pain. He tossed and turned in his bed, grasping onto his pillows and smashing them against himself. After hours of rage, he became tired. His muscles ached and his throat burned. "Enough" he said, almost scolding himself. He tore off his covers and stood next to his bed. He began to undress, his pale skin shining from the light of the moon coming through the window. He slipped into baggy jeans and threw on a sweatshirt. He paraded down the stairs, heavily, as if he had something very important to do. He got in his car and raced to the center of town. When he shut the car door behind him, he slung his hood over his head and shoved his hands in his pockets violently. He walked quickly with his eyes directly on the ground, watching to make sure he didn't trip. The second he passed through the brass opening to the town grave yard, he began with a sprint. He breathed heavily as sweat slowly eroded from his skin. At once, he fell to his knees. His hood bounced off his head, revealing the fair skin on his face, radiant in the moonlight. He turned to face my tombstone, frustration in his eyes. "Mia, I know you can hear me. Stop drawing me back into you. Stop making me miss you. Let me live my life without you. You're possessing me and I can't take it. Leave me alone." He growled like a puppy, both in terror and anger. He stood up to brush the dirt from his knees, and then he was gone. He bolted away in the darkness, leaving me staring at my grave. "It is time to move on." I dared myself to process. I didn't know it was possible to feel pain in heaven. I thought there were no emotions. My thoughts changed when I felt a tear run down my cheek. "Alone," I thought once again, "alone."
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