shadicdx

shadicdx
posted a quote
November 4, 2019 9:00pm UTC

For those who don’t know or understand. Men deal with emotional pain as well as women. Social norms are stated that all men shouldn’t cry or have feeling. That no matter what we have to be strong for ourselves and our family. That having these sensations are a showing of weakness. It’s the complete opposite. Like peoples it’s about to 2020. Social norms need to be broken down and re-evaluated. Honestly I notice that the whole thing about guys having to be tall, handsome, have a beard, abs ,just having money or how girls have to be a certain height, shape, size, weight, how they dress is what people want. Whatever happened to having that connection with people? Whatever happened to going out and not being on your phone and just talking with the person you are with? Why can’t people just also like people for who they are? Why do they have to act a certain way or dress a certain way in order to be socially acceptable to the masses? Whatever happened to being able to communicate with that’s one special person? Now I’m not saying that I’m a saint and not done this to someone because I have. I know I haven’t been the best at communicating to which this has cost me many a great deal of pain and suffering due to my own negligence of my own relationships. I know I’ve caused emotional pain to others as well. Practically anyone I’ve ever been in a relationship. Truth is what people want is unknowable until the right stone is cast. When that moment finally comes, that sensation of happiness comes to fruition.
I’m a guy and I’ve been hurt emotionally and physically. I’ve shed my own blood and my own tears feeling like I’ve been nothing worthless. To this day that sadly hasn’t changed. It sucks because I honesty know when I created this path for me. Right as I graduated high school, I realized that all my pain because my stupid actions and ignorance. I wish I could forgive myself for all these things I’ve done. But I have no idea how it would happen for me. Instead,I have to keep on moving forward trying to make a difference for myself but all I can say is that I forgive the others that added to this. To all the anger I let out because of my stupidity and jealousy. Thinking I wasn’t good enough when I was. Seeing how much people loved me but I didn’t show how much I loved them back. I’m sorry for being a bad person. I’m sorry for being someone that was a complete idiot and jerk. I wish I could see them again. And see their smile again. I miss you...

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shadicdx
posted a quote
October 13, 2016 4:20am UTC

As of late, i seem to not be able to remember who I am, Not a a person, but as a spirit. Those who i left my trust and faith in have been seeming to dim. The lights from my life, slowing fading from existance. People always tell me that im important and that i matter a lot to them. It doesnt seem like it. It seems more and more painful. Honestly, i seem to be hating myself for it as well. Like it my fault for this. Ive come to terms with this before. Although it gets worse each time it happens. So far worse that ive been reverting back to my previous stages in life. When i didnt have friends. It doesnt appear like i have friends. My "friends" say that they care about me.
I think about why i should even bother. I feel like im losing. Like there is no point in trying to even live my life. But everytime i do i feel dead. I have this selfhatred, that seems to be boiling like a pool of hot blood fresh from my dying body. I cant even see into my eyes anymore. Into my very soul.
Do i even have my soul?
It just feels like this empty void that is just circulating in my body. Not knowing what to do. Wether to wake up or stay dormant, ill never know.
Maybe one day ill be able to solve the mystery of how i truly died. Not a corpse but as a living husk that just walks around for days, months, even years. I remember when i used to laugh, about nothing at all it was better than going mad. But now i cant solve any problems i have. I just cant live on like this anymore. I want to try being better than i already am but everyone keeps pushing me down. Like im not important, Some people barely remember my own name. I barely get to remember my own name. I rarely get to hear it anymore.
My name is.....

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shadicdx
posted a quote
August 26, 2014 2:45am UTC

single yet again only this time i decided to finish it... i never thought it would hurt this bad. Ive been feeling like crap. But maybe i deserve it.
After my past experiences, i thought this would be easier it really isnt and im in so much pain that its like ripping out my own heart, crushing it in
my hand and stabbing it then placing it back inside my chest. Maybe i deserve it...

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shadicdx
posted a quote
January 17, 2013 11:22pm UTC

Thinking that i used to have the perfect life when i realize now, that perfection is unknowable. I used to not be good at anything at all. I used to give up really easily to everything i ever attempted. I used to have a girlfriend that treated me badly. Not the respect i deserved. I love her. But now life changes, ive changed for the better. Im doing better in school, my new girlfriend is amazing. She treats me with the respect that i deserve and love and kindness. I used to be this kid who didnt really have many friends. I used to pathetic. A loser. But finally it hit me that even a loser like me can still have great friends. People he knows he can trust. Lately, that hasnt been many people except my brother and my girlfriend. Besides my family members, i feel comfortable being who i am and if no one likes who i am. Well thats their problem. I always changed who i was to please different people. Like my mother and father, my ex-girlfriend,her parents. But now ive changed for myself. and i feel amazing about it. No one can ever change me because they choose to. I wont ever change for someone elses happiness. If someone wants to be friends with me, they would have to accept who i am.
Nothing is true,
Everything is permitted.

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shadicdx
posted a quote
September 1, 2012 8:26pm UTC

Why do i even try anymore? Its not like anyone cares anymore. :(

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shadicdx
posted a quote
July 25, 2012 9:18am UTC

Lately i feel like im slowly losing her and i think to myself.. "did i do something wrong" i love you baby please tell me if i did something wrong i want to know i need to know. i feel like you are pushing me away. Do you not have the same feeling for me as you did when we started being to together? Do we not share the love? Tell me these things, how can i be a better boyfriend? i need to know. I love you so much baby. Please

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shadicdx
posted a quote
January 21, 2012 11:40pm UTC

People have asked me "Mauricio, do you love her? Is she the one for you? Do you think you can do better?"
The only answer i can give is that i love her. I love her so much. She is the girl for me. We like the same music. Same style. Same comedians. So on and so forth. When i wake up, she is the person i always wake up to go see. I go to school just to see her. (of course to learn also lol) When ever i feel down i always know that she can always cheer me up. When im happy its because of her making me happy. When i see a smile on her face its because i know i did something good. We barely get into fights but when we do its usually over after a hour or 2. But she completes me. Ive gone out with other girls. But i havent gone out with someone who is awesome and special and dear to my heart i love her so much with all my heart and soul.
I would go to the ends of the universe and back just to bring her a star but what she may already know is that she is my shooting star. She is my whole world. I love you baby!!!! <3<3<3<3<3

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shadicdx
posted a quote
January 21, 2012 2:28am UTC

i wish could mind their own minds. Everyone is always in my business and making up rumors. People just to just leave me alone

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shadicdx
posted a quote
January 12, 2012 1:13am UTC

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shadicdx
posted a quote
December 13, 2011 12:58am UTC

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shadicdx
posted a quote
November 13, 2011 7:02pm UTC

kissing test<3 1.hold you breath 2.click add a quote 3.copy and past this quote 4.good now if you did it without breathing you are a good kisser
i did it :D

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shadicdx
posted a quote
November 13, 2011 6:51pm UTC

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shadicdx
posted a quote
November 13, 2011 6:47pm UTC

i dont know what to do anymore. i cant make anyone happy. Not my friends not my family. not even my girlfriend i need help can anyone help me

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shadicdx
posted a quote
October 12, 2011 2:48am UTC

If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now
and can't get them out of your head
then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are
missing will surprise you

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shadicdx
posted a quote
October 11, 2011 2:16am UTC

90% of people marry their 7th - 12th grade love. ♥
Since you have read this, you will be told good news tonight.
If you don't repost this, your worst week starts now.

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shadicdx
posted a quote
October 10, 2011 12:26am UTC

You know im always the one trying. The One who tries to do better. The one who tries everything. I know i messed up. and i should still try. But why dont you try? Why dont you show that you care about me? I would like that. That would show me that you still care about me and that you want to get back together. Honestly i would like one time to see you try. But i guess it wont happen since its all my fault and i messed up so i should to try. But if you do care you can try to no matter if i messed up or not

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shadicdx
posted a quote
October 4, 2011 2:59am UTC

Today was one hell of a day. I got to kiss her again. And it FELT AMAZING!!!! then i snuck to see her. I was outside her house for about almost an hour then her mom walked in the room and she got caught. I feel really bad. She kept telling me to go and i didnt and now she is in trouble what should i do?

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shadicdx
posted a quote
September 19, 2011 1:08am UTC

Love. What is Love. Love is a feeling that make you happy. That makes you sad. That feeling that makes you do crazy things for the people you care about. Once upon a time i met a girl. She was very cute and intelligent. I saw her for the first time reading. I thought she was most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my life. She became my bestfriend in the whole world. Years later,We became a couple. I loved her so much and so did she. We had so many good memories. The thing is i dont want those memories to end. I love you so much. I dont want to leave you alone. Every night i fall asleep thinking about you. I wake up in the middle of the night because of the nightmares. Do you want to know what my nightmares are? They are about my death and yours. When its mine, my spirit see you, alone crying.When its yours,i see myself with a gun,and i point it at my head and pull the trigger. These nightmares are scaring me. They make me feel like we will never be together again. That we will be cursed to be alone for the rest of our lives. I cant bare to be alone. Not again. I waited for you. I always have. After all that has happened these years. All i have done is waited for you.I miss you so much baby. Please dont leave. Dont say goodbye. I love you

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shadicdx
posted a quote
September 19, 2011 1:08am UTC

Love. What is Love. Love is a feeling that make you happy. That makes you sad. That feeling that makes you do crazy things for the people you care about. Once upon a time i met a girl. She was very cute and intelligent. I saw her for the first time reading. I thought she was most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my life. She became my bestfriend in the whole world. Years later,We became a couple. I loved her so much and so did she. We had so many good memories. The thing is i dont want those memories to end. I love you so much. I dont want to leave you alone. Every night i fall asleep thinking about you. I wake up in the middle of the night because of the nightmares. Do you want to know what my nightmares are? They are about my death and yours. When its mine, my spirit see you, alone crying.When its yours,i see myself with a gun,and i point it at my head and pull the trigger. These nightmares are scaring me. They make me feel like we will never be together again. That we will be cursed to be alone for the rest of our lives. I cant bare to be alone. Not again. I waited for you. I always have. After all that has happened these years. All i have done is waited for you.I miss you so much baby. Please dont leave. Dont say goodbye. I love you

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shadicdx
posted a quote
September 19, 2011 1:08am UTC

Love. What is Love. Love is a feeling that make you happy. That makes you sad. That feeling that makes you do crazy things for the people you care about. Once upon a time i met a girl. She was very cute and intelligent. I saw her for the first time reading. I thought she was most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my life. She became my bestfriend in the whole world. Years later,We became a couple. I loved her so much and so did she. We had so many good memories. The thing is i dont want those memories to end. I love you so much. I dont want to leave you alone. Every night i fall asleep thinking about you. I wake up in the middle of the night because of the nightmares. Do you want to know what my nightmares are? They are about my death and yours. When its mine, my spirit see you, alone crying.When its yours,i see myself with a gun,and i point it at my head and pull the trigger. These nightmares are scaring me. They make me feel like we will never be together again. That we will be cursed to be alone for the rest of our lives. I cant bare to be alone. Not again. I waited for you. I always have. After all that has happened these years. All i have done is waited for you.I miss you so much baby. Please dont leave. Dont say goodbye. I love you

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