I'm just a cold and lonely girl, living in a cruel and crowded world.
& DO YOU REALIZE THE WORDS YOU SAY MAKE BRUISES THAT WON'T FADEAWAY.
"You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her, because you don't destroy the person that you love."
Your skin is warm like an oven, your kiss is sugary-sweet. Your fingers feel like cotton when you put your arms around me. I feel like I'm just missin' something whenever you leave. We've got all the ingredients except you lovin' me.
As he stood there by the door of the run-down dollar store, I noticed the curvature of his lips, the way that the pink faded into the peach of his face, the stubble of carelessness grew around them and down his neck. A cigarette hung from his mouth, billowing all of the unsaid words that he so desperately wanted to say. I wanted so much to tell him, honey, I know where you are on those nights that you can't find your way, the mornings that can't keep going, I know the impossibilities that haunt your beautiful mind and the way that you use those damned cigarettes as a gateway to reality. I wanted to touch his cheek and take his hand and show him the world of beauty and reason, but his mind was far away and he had not a clue that I existed and I had not a clue of his stature or where he was going and I could tell that his lips would not open to tell a soul about the nightmares he had every night except to his treasured cigarette that hung low, barely burning anymore, but had a captured spirit to it. I knew, without reason or doubt, that he was destined for magical things if not for his fxcking cigarette.
I met you at fifteen and at sixteen, I fell in love with you. At seventeen, when my grandmother took her last breath on the face of the earth, you cried with me at the foot of the gray stone. When you moved away at eighteen, we promised each other with a ring that we'd never forget the love between us, but at nineteen when I called you, it went to voicemail and I felt the earth shatter all those miles away. At twenty, you had forgotten my face and I'd remembered yours without fail. I realized at twenty-one that I had lost you and at twenty-two, I saw the love in your eyes as you used them to look at someone else. When I found him at twenty-three, I thought he'd erase you from by memory but sitting here at twenty-four, I know that it will never happen.
I wish he would have spoken up, given me the story behind the crimson stains on the hem of his sleeve, given me a little piece of himself before he vanished altogether. It was only then, standing at the foot of the gray cobblestone rock that I understood the pain and horrible nightmares that he subjected himself to. No one realized that even when the sun was high in the sky, smiling down as the children down the street ran through their sprinklers and doused each other in warmth and prosperity, that he was constantly in the dark, a midnight so black that the last flicker of flame inside him was kissed and put out by the cold. It was only then, as I stood by his grave and felt the earth, dead and cold beneath my feet... I understood exactly how his demons devoured him whole.
I saw him smoking that damn cigarette by the entrance of the rec hall, standing slumped over the railing like he'd been beaten down by all of the demons crawling in his skin. I saw him hang his head as if he was bowing to them, giving in to the darkness inside his veins, and I remember feeling the sadness in my lungs. He made it hard to look at him, so regretful and innocent, and I remember keeping my eyes to the ground as I passed by him, muttering under my breath, "I know where you're at right now."
Format coded by Amenah. Please don't remove this or any visible credit. maybe it'll work out like in the movies but I know that Romeo must die before the ending with a final kiss delivered gently because you don't get luckiy twice nmf