~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I wish you would see yourself as beautiful as I see you."
I'm a worthless nothing so if you don't want to waste your time,
you might as well leave my page.
I'm the kind of person that will still love you, even if you put me through h*ll.
I'll just apologize a million times, even if it was your fault.
I'm here if you need me.
I'm a cat lover.
I don't talk about my pain because I know everyone has pain, so I don't want to be annoying. I basically keep it in and it eats me up. I don't complement myself because I deserve to die. There is nothing good about me. I have for the first time found what I can truly love–I have found you. You are my sympathy–my better self–my good angel–I am bound to you with a strong attachment. -Jane Eyre <3 Please listen to the song, it's pretty hippy, but hey thats what I like. I know it may be tiresome and you already have music you'd rather listen to,
but I think you'll find you like it. Remeber guys I luff you. (Mr. Darcy)
Dear ______, I don't think you'll ever read this, because I don't have the guts to show you it. I never told you about my crush yet. His name is ___ ______ and I think he's adorable. He's a sophomore, and he's really nice. He seemed to care about my feelings, and we would have a bunch of conversations. Even when he realized I liked him, he didn't treat me any differently. The most confusing thing though? He didn't even treat me badly when he saw the cuts on my wrist and I told him they were my "cat". (Oh by the way, I started cutting my wrist because I felt like an idiot cutting my legs, like I wasn't "doing it right".) There is no way he could believe those cuts were from my cat. But when I told him a week later, that they were from me, he just stopped. He stopped talking to me, saying hi, being nice, or caring about me. Even before, I would get so nervous around him I would shake and start to talk nonsense. That's what I do around people I don't feel good enough for, I shake like crazy, and that's what I do around you. I feel like I don't know how to be a good friend, and at anytime I could screw everything up. I feel so insecure and like I'm going crazy. I feel like I don't know how to be a good friend. If something I do that bothers you, please just tell me. Don't just keep it inside, because then it hurts you. I am ALWAYS here for you. And I don't judge. I will never judge you. I love you so much. -scared_scarred
Do you know how it feels to look around and see no one? Sure people are next to you, but you can't talk to them and they wouldn't listen because they don't care. No one cares about me, and if thats the case, maybe I shouldn't care about me either.
The reason I like math is because I always manage to fix the problems. The reason I want to kill myself is because no matter how hard I try I can't fix the problems, and they eat me up. f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5
My crush saw my cuts. And this was our conversation. Crush: What happened to your wrist? Me: My cat. *shifts uncomfortably* Crush: And you still love your cat so much? Me: Yah. *puts in earphones and uncomfortably looks away for awhile* Crush: Are you ok? Me: Yeah. *lieing* Crush: Are you ever gonna take your earphones out? Me:...... Crush: *gets up and leaves*
Umm so my crush that previously told me he didn't like me just told me that he thinks I'd be amazing in bed and that hes thought about me like that before. Welp I feel really creeped out just about now.
************************************* I slit my wrist. My actual wrist this time. I did it in such a noticable place, because I was hoping someone would actually notice this time. But I was wrong... **************************************
I just got back from an hour walk. During that walk, a group of guys shouted at me from across the street, and then they started following me. Another man, that was really old and alone in his car, stopped and started to talk to me. I'm never going to take a walk in my neighborhood again.
The problem is, the moment the blood dries, the cuts heal, the tears stop, the truth halts, and the lies start, no. one. cares. and that's the moment, the love stops, the concerns fall, ...and it starts all over for you. The Hell Cycle.