sarikapokerface's Favorites

...*
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 2:02pm UTC

Cough Drops;
We eat them because
5% heal our cough
95% they taste good

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 49 points

I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 10:48pm UTC

The number of people I hate on any given day is
inversely proportional to the amount of sleep I got the night before..

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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MyMindBook
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 6:35pm UTC

Hoes before bros.
Uteruses before duderuses.
Ovaries before brovaries.

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yourcool
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 7:19pm UTC

did you know that if you were to
put your headphones into your nostrils and open your mouth, it turns into instant speakers.

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wasted_wishes
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 8:52pm UTC

click to see this quote

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yourcool
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 7:46pm UTC

i think the "People you may know" section
on Facebook should be changed to "People I'm deliberately not friends with."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 171 points

OhHoePlease
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 3:25pm UTC

Some girl It's so cold! I need a boyfriend to cuddle with♥
30 minutes ago · 1 comment · 8 liked this.
Me Oh hoe please. Buy a blanket.
28 minutes ago · 6 people like this
OhHoePlease
format by: BravoSierra (:

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 119 points

staystrongxx
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 9:27pm UTC

girls whose hair
looks perfect 24/7 just makes me want to crawl under a rock and cry

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jimboslice3
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 1:23pm UTC

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Brother: I don't know
Me: To get to the gay guys house
Brother: What?
Me: Nevermind
Me: Knock Knock
Brother: Whos there?
Me: The chicken!
My Mom: *starts laughing*
True story

👍 this is good · read the comments · 519 points

† *
posted a quote
December 26, 2012 1:36pm UTC

When I eat chips outside of my house, I eat it just like the Queen of England
But when I eat at home, I eat like it's the first food i've ever eaten in 200 years.

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britany*
posted a quote
December 26, 2012 1:59pm UTC

Did you know.
In High School Musical, Zac Efron was barely the singing vocals for Troy, it was someone else
Childhood ruined yet?
Credit: Jahyvie

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LacedRibbon
posted a quote
December 26, 2012 3:14pm UTC

don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a fat, ugly, anti-social, internet addicted freak like me. dont chaa.

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asmileonmyface
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 8:44pm UTC

People are so greedy
Person: I can't believe my mom got me the black Ipad! I wanted the white one. Wtf!
Me: Well, I got some cool socks and a blanket.

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SetFireToTheRain
posted a quote
December 26, 2012 1:48pm UTC

So I was on Instagram,
and I was looking at the "Explore" section pictures.
There was this picture of this model girl, and most of the comments were usual.
"Hot"
"Stunning!"
"nice"
And as I was scrolling down, I came across this comment:
"Sometimes when no one is home I enjoy serparating M&M's into color groups and pretending they're little villages of people with their own economic and social problems, and then I try to fix them through free trade agreements and other diplomatic measures."
.....
So I just wanted to take the time out and say:
Dear whoever made that comment,
You belong here.
Sincerely, Witty is right for you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 609 points

Jahyvie
posted a quote
December 26, 2012 1:39pm UTC

Did you know.
There is a 500 year old statue of a man eating a sack of babies in Bern, Switzerland, And no one is sure why.
Credit: Jahyvie

👍 this is good · read the comments · 430 points

nopatience
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 9:09pm UTC

Hey dad, you got any condoms? I'm going to need protection for when I go clubbing later ;)
Your face is protection enough.
nmf, followme *best dad ever

👍 this is good · read the comments · 239 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 10:36pm UTC

Why go to the doctor when you're sick when you can just
google your symptoms and scare the crap out of yourself

👍 this is good · read the comments · 368 points

itsamadworld
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 8:45pm UTC

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a sound could be heard except the click of my mouse.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 304 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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