Giant Vent Im not asking for advice,
If you have some great
Id just appreciate if somone would read this.
My friend just ditched me for the guy she lieks she was at my house and she was saying like im bored lets do something but not watch TV so Im like okay what do you want to do? and she shrugged im like -_- then my dad said I can bring you guys home in an hour okay? so she called her mom and found out that they were at her crushes house and so shes like can i go home now? Of course im not going to say no but I didnt mind to much but like it was awkward and im kind of hurt by that. Then i am just the type of person who falls for guys so quickly and tries to learn about them then I have a huge unessacary stupid eartbreak; This is SO stupid and I hate saying it cuz it sounds stupid so please dont judge me on this, My HUGE crush is Louis Tomlinson and Im such HUGE fan and Ive watched his interviews online, I loved him since the Xfactor and I have the 1D book :P Im such a directioner! but anyways and I just- Its liek heartbreaking because i know i wont and cant have him and I HATE it. I dont want to stop liking one direction because of this because I love them all, Ive never been a "fangirl" with anything until now! its so stupid. Then Ive done some things I regret :/ and IM just SO frustrated. My parents are divorced its been so hard becaue the divorce was finalized this year, its ben going on for 4 years and I had to grow up at 10. I feel like I have no friends speaking of which, That friend above just ditched me, One friend we made plans then i found out she didnt ask her mom yet and so she cancelled last minute, literally. the same friend jsut cancelled on me AGAIN today because she hadnt asked her mom then one of my other friends cancelled plans on me last week. Im so sick of people cancelling plans on me. I cancelled on my friend once because I had to go with my dad I never see my dad and we were just ging to a b -day party together! Then me and my mom fought two days ago and I said some rude things, btu she ALWAYS favors my sister everone sees it thats one reason why my dad favors me but hes always working so im wiht my mom a lot, and my sister always amkes fun of me and shes so annoying she would even do stupid stuff like scream SAMANTHA STOP IT and Ill be in the other room liek what? then i get in trouble and as my moms scolding me shes behind her grinning. im liek OMG. i try to tell my mom but when people look into my eyes and are like tell me the truth i smile, I smile too much nd Im not even happy. but anyways its so frustrating. Im the type of person who cant show their feelings so this vent im typing non stop tog et it all out, the last thing im so scared the only person i cryinfront of is my Grandmother(I call her nana) and im so scared shes going to die, shes like 68 but im just so scared shes the reason i hold it together and dont run away and just get the eff away, though running away doesnt solve anything im just so- UGH. there isnt a word for it. Im so sad all the time but I act happy, Ive been dirty and my friendare finding out im scared they dont like me anymore and i act happy and inside im breaking down.
.....I Appreciate it if you read this<3
samanthaxoxo14