I hate food. i hate it. I wish it wasnt my weakness. I wish i could control myself. I wish it didnt make me feel fat. I try to eat healthy and excersize but sometimes i just binge and binge and binge. Then i feel guilty for eating so much. Then thats when i want to throw it all up. Sometimes i do and sometimes i dont.
Earse this monster ive become, forgive me for all the damage done. Its not over, say its not over. Im begging for mercy. Im only the monster you made me..because who I am isnt who i used to be, im not invincible im not indestructible..Im only human. cant you see the beauty in me?
Someone on witty told me and all cutters to get a grip. Really? People these days. You dont know what its like to be a cutter. Its not for attention. You cut the outside to kill the pain in the inside.
Im not a stranger, no i am yours..with cripled anger and tears that still drip sore, a fragile frame aged with misery but when our eyes meet I know you see, I do not wanna be afraid, i do not wanna die inside just to breath in, im tired of feeling so lone...reliefe exsists i find it when i am cut.
"Are you okay?" No, im not okay...you destroyed me. You took what happiness was left in me. I love you. But i cant stay around and just let you tear me apart anymore....I guess i deserve it. I deserve to be destroyed. I dont even deserve to smile. I dont deserve to be loved..I dont deserve to eat...As a matter of fact Im DONE eating. Im just gunna start cutting more and more..
Dear Diary, No one ever asks me how I am. Truth is im glad they dont. I wouldnt know what to say. Im never happy "or good" im depressed. Alot. i wouldnt say always...but most of the time. People are really wearing on me...Breaking me. I feel like people think im strong. unbreakable. But im not. Im fragile..." Its hard to answer whats wrong? when nothings right."
I love you. God i love you. Will you ever realize that? ever? Will you ever forgive me...will you ever trust me again... I know i hurt you...but that was 6 months ago...Ive been in love with you for three years. I cant let you go, i cant....it doesnt matter how hard i try to forget you or how many names you call me...i just cant get over you :( fml