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oxjetaimexo

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Member Since: 8 Dec 2011 04:25pm

Last Seen: 28 Jan 2013 11:03am

user id: 248366

5 Quotes
315 Favorites
45 Following
17 Followers
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  1. oxjetaimexo oxjetaimexo
    posted a quote
    June 11, 2012 11:06pm UTC
    Hey guys, I need some advice... Anyone wanna listen?
    About a year ago, I met this girl. For some reason, when I met her, I had this gut feeling that I couldn't trust her. I had no idea why, but I just did. When I got to know her, she talked very convincingly and I slowly began to ignore my gut and to let down my walls. I began opening up to her, which is really hard for me to do. She did critisize me, but, when I asked her, she'd be like ''god, can't you even take a joke?" I'd then feel bad for not realizing she was only joking.
    In April, I saw on Facebook that she and her boyfriend were making fun of me. (I've known him since we were little, and he used to be a really awesome guy, until he met her. Now, he's turned into a jerk...) They were saying "you-know-who", but it was really obvious that they were talking about me.
    I was really, really hurt by that. She always talked about how she was bullied (I was, too), so I thought that she would know, from experience, how much it hurts, and not bully other people... Apparently I was wrong..
    I chose not to talk to her then, since I was so emotionally hurt by it, and knew I wouldn't be able to have a rational conversation.
    Last week, I finally got up the guts to tell someone (a woman in her mid-twenties who I trust) about it, and she said that I should definitely talk to the girl about what happened..
    I'm just afraid that she'll use me saying that I was really hurt by her back-stabbing me as another way to talk bad about me to my friends..
    Most of the time, I would just say "she's so not worth my time".. But she's the only person I know "in real life" who has self-harmed (like I have), so, even though I haven't told her about my self-harming (I was working towards it when she talked about me behind my back), I feel like, if I cut off our friendship, I won't have anyone who understands what I've been through with my self-harm...
    What should I do?

  2. oxjetaimexo oxjetaimexo
    posted a quote
    May 31, 2012 9:42pm UTC
    Okay Witty girls, let's play a game ...
    1.) Favourite [♥] this quote (So more people can see).
    2.) Copy this quote, add your username to the list below, and post it.
    3.) Then, look at the person above you and find their profile. Read their description of themselves, possibly follow them, then post a comment on their profile saying something nice about them.
    4.) The next person that adds their name below you should post a compliment on your profile.
    1. SocietyIsScrewingMeUp ♥
    2. JustinBieber2702 <3
    3. Ty1210♥
    4. CiaraKaye01
    5. Bowkes
    6. igorawr15 :)
    7. grlsmmy :)
    8. SheDreamer
    9. tyrababy123
    10. the_truth_is_always_found
    11. marybball03
    12.jazzie7877
    13.seacoast006
    14. oxjetaimexo (yes, I know I don't have an about me, I haven't been able to write it yet.. but you can still check out my quotes!)
    15.
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  3. oxjetaimexo oxjetaimexo
    posted a quote
    May 25, 2012 10:54pm UTC
    So... how can I get a notification saying that someone started following me at 2:18 a.m. on May 26, 2012, when it's only 10:53 p.m. on May 25, 2012?

  4. oxjetaimexo oxjetaimexo
    posted a quote
    April 16, 2012 10:42pm UTC
    They say that the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. The trouble is, I don't know if I have a problem.
    This is my story.
    I've made some stupid mistakes, and they've haunted me. Last fall and the beginning of this year I struggled with depression. I felt like my world had completely fallen apart, and at times I wondered if I would even be able to make it another day. I lived in constant fear of what could happen if someone found out my secrets and realized that I wasn't the perfect girl who had it all together. I began to withdraw from society. I began to avoid my friends, and I brushed over any conversations with my family. I built so many walls up around myself, not wanting to interact with anyone for fear of getting hurt. I started getting no schoolwork done, and I would sit in front of my computer doing absolutely nothing for hours on end. I got less and less sleep as the weeks dragged on, and spent hours every night thinking of horrible things in my life that could go completely wrong. Music became my escape. I would sit at the piano playing for hours and hours with tears pouring down my face. When I played, all my worries seemed to go away and I felt like I became the music. Unfortunately, my parents told me that, because I wasn't getting homework done and fulfilling my responsibilities, I could only play my piano once everything I had to do was completed. I knew I needed another way to express myself, so I began writing. In it, I wrote many of my feelings, but not the essence of my pain, because I was always terrified that someone would find my notebooks.
    The only other way of getting my hurt out that I could think of was through pain.
    I knew that I couldn't cut, because someone would see it. I always wear short-sleeved shirts or push my long sleeves up, so I knew that someone would ask what was up if I suddenly wore sweatshirts/long-sleeved shirts all the time. I began hurting myself in other ways, since I though cutting wasn't an option.
    I began biting the insides of my cheeks until they bled, pinching myself, and messing with cuts/scrapes/paper cuts I already had.
    For the short moment I felt the physical pain, the pain inside of me would disapper.
    Thankfully, I was saved by the grace of God. Only a short time after I started hurting myself (and I am SO thankful I never began seriously self-harming- I only did those small things 2-3 times) little things began happening in my life that I knew could only be coming from God. A friend randomly gave me a CD I had been looking at buying, but decided I didn't need since money is kinda tight for my family. As I was about to hurt myself, I heard a bird singing outside my window in the middle of January. The list could go on, and on, and on. You may call them coincidences, but I truly believe that God was quietly reminding me of His amazing love.
    I am now in SUCH a better place. I am very happy, and spending time with encouraging friends (something I hadn't been doing before everything fell apart). I believe with my whole heart that my life is a gift that I am not worthy of, and I am living every day as if it could be my last. I do have struggles, but I know that Christ is with me every single step of the way.
    Something that I have been wrestling with is if I need help (rehab, therapy, counseling, etc.) because I did harm myself. Even though I never became addicted to cutting (again, I am so grateful for that), you do have to be in a really bad place to even consider hurting your body. I am wondering if that is something I do need to tell someone, but I'm really afraid that they'll insist that I need to go to rehab or something. I do not believe I have to, since I'm not hurting myself, and I truly have no intention of doing it again.
    P.S. If you read this entire thing, I love you :)

  5. oxjetaimexo oxjetaimexo
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2011 4:55pm UTC
    Somedays I just feel invisible

:)

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