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  1. lovecrazy lovecrazy
    posted a quote
    February 3, 2013 8:47pm UTC
    My dad: *Screaming from across the house* ARE YOU WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL?!
    Me: No.
    Dad: WHAT?!
    Me: NO I AM NOT WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL
    Dad: *Walks into my room* You don't have to yell, gosh. Why aren't you watching it?
    Me: My team didn't make it and I have better things to do
    Dad: So what are you watching?
    Me: High School Musical
    Dad: Aren't you a little old for that?
    Me: No, I'm never to old to watch Zac Efron sing and dance.
    Me: He's hot.
    Dad: Yeah, he is.
    Me: Dude, you're old.
    Me: And married..
    Dad: I'm just kidding. I was hotter than him. I was smokin' hot, I had babes all over me.
    Me: Sure.
    Dad: Seriously, he's uglaaay
    Me: No!
    Me: Get out, you are not my father.
    Me: Zac Efron please come join me in my room, hot stuff.
    Dad:
    Me:
    Dad: You are so weird and I'm missing the game. Buh-bye. *Walks out*
    Dad: *Pokes head back in* I was still smokin' hot. Ask your mom

  2. FreakingPip* FreakingPip*
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2014 6:43pm UTC
    I think I'll try defying gravity ♥

  3. bunnylover43 bunnylover43
    posted a quote
    January 6, 2013 3:29pm UTC
    I feel like a weirdo when I tell people I LOVE skrillex
    because 1 im a girl and 2 the other day a boy A BOY told me how do you listen to that? it hurts my ears....
    And yeah....

  4. acc_1029 acc_1029
    posted a quote
    January 6, 2013 1:08am UTC
    that scary moment when you realize,
    "Holy sh/t..
    I'm in love."

  5. pikachu-farts* pikachu-farts*
    posted a quote
    December 29, 2012 12:50pm UTC
    Nicholas Hoult as a zombie:
    *Okay, say something human*
    "Nirrgghhh."
    *Nailed it!*
    Omg, I literally cannot wait till Warm Bodies comes out XD

  6. randi* randi*
    posted a quote
    December 29, 2012 1:03pm UTC
    ed sheeran
    ed sheewalked
    ed sheetrotted
    ed sheesprinted
    ed sheejoggedmoderatelyfast
    niall horan
    niall howalked
    niall hotrotted
    niall hosprinted
    niall hojoggedmoderatelyfast
    louis tomlinson
    louis tomlindaughter
    louis tomlinmother
    louis tomlinfather
    louistomlinfamily
    harry styles
    harry grooms
    harry shampoos
    harry snips
    harry shapes
    liam payne
    liam hurt
    liam suffer
    liam ache
    liam discomfort
    zayn malik
    zayn malik
    zayn malik
    zayn malik
    zayn malik

  7. CaitlinAtTheDisco* CaitlinAtTheDisco*
    posted a quote
    December 28, 2012 1:31pm UTC
    Haylor Break Up
    Taylor: Let's get back together, Harry
    Harry: But you said Weee Are never, ever, ever getting back together!
    Harry: Like..ever

  8. sooky234 sooky234
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2012 6:32pm UTC
    Student: How long did it take you to make this presentation?
    Teacher: Three whole weeks.
    Me: Ain't nobody got time for that.

  9. jariley* jariley*
    posted a quote
    December 27, 2012 10:57am UTC
    FML
    ----------------------
    Jenna Marbles and maxnosleeves broke up
    what has this world come to?

    nmf

  10. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    December 27, 2012 12:30pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  11. BandG33k BandG33k
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2012 11:27pm UTC
    I ate my twin in the womb.
    -this moment is for the people who get this. i love you all.-

  12. Hogwartian Hogwartian
    posted a quote
    December 27, 2012 11:52am UTC
    lllll Book Club with Authors: lllll
    Suzanne Collins: "Finnick and Annie returned to District 4
    and had a child togeth-"
    JK Rowling: No no no! What are you doing?! You can't let that
    character live! You have to be ruthless. You have to rip out the
    reader's heart.
    Suzanne Collins: But he really doesn't need to die...
    JK Rowling: DO YOU WANT A BEST SELLER?!
    Suzanne Collins: Yes, but-
    JK Rowling: THEN KILL HIM!
    Stephenie Meyer: Hey Jo, maybe you could help me with
    Breaking Daw-
    JK Rowling: Be quiet, Stephenie.
    Suzanne Collins: She doesn't even go here.

  13. Gives_MeHope Gives_MeHope
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2012 4:05pm UTC
    I approached a kid and asked, "What is love?"
    The kid answered, "Love is when a puppy licks your face."
    I laughed, but then he added..
    "Even after you left him alone all day."

  14. Hogwartian Hogwartian
    posted a quote
    December 27, 2012 11:28am UTC
    Harry: Checkmate.
    Ron: Period!
    Hermione: I thought your catchphrase was "Bloody Hell?"
    Ron: Same thing!

  15. of_mice_and_lucifer* of_mice_and_lucifer*
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2012 8:25pm UTC
    I never understood why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up, when I was younger.
    Now I understand completely.

  16. of_mice_and_lucifer* of_mice_and_lucifer*
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2012 8:38pm UTC
    Thank you.
    July 14, of 2012, I joined Witty. After a few hours online, I was hooked. Next day, I was addicted. I thought it was a great site. If I hadn't found Witty, I wouldn't have something to look foreward to when I come back from school, I would have no one to talk to.
    But here I am, 1,005 quotes later, sitting at my desk with Witty pulled up on a tab, sinking deeper into mental illness, but having people to talk to and something to look forward to.
    I wanna thank you guys who fave my quotes, and you have no idea how big of a smile I get when I log onto 100 or 200 faves. The smile is damn big.
    I think the two people on Wity who have been here for me most, are bunnylover43 and Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted. I love you two, you're always there for me. And, of course, I'm always here for you.
    I'm always here for all of you.
    I love you all so much, my followers, all of you on Witty. You make me smile, and that's pretty difficult for someone who wants to die everyday.
    So, I'm always here for you, and you're all beautiful.
    Thank you. So much. I love you.
    stay strong, beautiful. ♥
    //BlackGlitter4\\

  17. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2012 9:44pm UTC
    Slutty girl: Ouch, my throat really hurts
    Me: I bet your knees do, too
    Slutty girl: What?
    Me: What?

  18. xnevershoutsalena xnevershoutsalena
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2012 8:14pm UTC
    Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half of her head shaved, and is bisexual.
    She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
    -nmf/q

  19. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    December 27, 2012 10:53am UTC
    50 State Stereotypes
    Alabama: The state bird is the NASCAR
    Alaska: I can see seasonal depression from here
    Arizona: Keeping Indians in and Mexicans out
    Arkansas: Great scenery, brilliant people...I'm sorry, I can't. We have Walmart?
    California: Gay Mexican boob job hippies who really want to direct
    Colorado: Snow! I mean cocaine, but we're also known for skiing.
    Connecticut: Great schools, because there's nothing else to do.
    Deleware: Come, we've got low incororation fees. No seriously, please come.
    Florida: The furthur north you go, the more south it gets.
    Georgia: Atlanta! We're kind of ashamed of the rest of it, though.
    Hawaii: If you lived here, you'd be lazy too.
    Idaho: Potatoes and Napoleon Dynamite. Gawd, we're cool.
    Illinois: Look, a non-corrupt politician for once. So far.
    Indiana: You have to drive through us to get somewhere better
    Iowa: 56,000 square miles of dull.
    Kansas: White-breds making white breads
    Kentucky: Farming from the future, textbooks from 1925
    Louisiana: Thanks BP, as if we didn't have enough problems
    Maine: A wicked lot a'moose, eh?
    Maryland: Have Jeeves bring the lobster boat around
    Massachusetts: Our chief export is obnoxious Pats fans
    Michigan: Cereal makers, serial killers
    Minnesota: Too nice not to elect d*uchey governors
    Mississippi: I'm gonna need a bigger Bible belt
    Missouri: We're #1! In meth...
    Montana: Speed limits don't matter when you're drunk
    Nebraska: Football, drawls, and overalls
    Nevada: No laws, no problem! Except all the murders.
    New Hampshire: Half hippie, half French, all upperclass
    New Jersey: Guidos, turnpikes, leeching off of new New York and Philly
    New Mexico: Like regular Mexico, but more UFO's
    New York: Worlds 14th biggest city, 1st biggest ego
    North Carolina: First in flight and lung cancer
    North Dakota: Somehow worse than South Dakota
    Ohio: People care about us at election time!
    Oklahoma: Ten days tornado free
    Oregon: Dreadlocks on white people
    Pennsylvania: Even our Amish will fight you
    Rhode Island: No seriously, we're a state
    South Carolina: Still accepting confederate dollars
    South Dakota: At least we're not North Dakota
    Tennessee: Where white people music comes form
    Texas: Everything is bigger, even our morons
    Utah: Multiple homely wives
    Vermont: Gay marriages on maple syrup farms
    Virginia: From the center of civilization to hicksville in 20 minutes flat
    Washington: Richer hippies than Oregon
    West Virginia: The inbred love child of Virginia and DC
    Wisconsin: It's too cold to be sober
    Wyoming: We don't have any gay cowboys, ok? Okay, maybe a few gay cowboys

  20. Your_crush_secretly Your_crush_secretly
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2012 7:39pm UTC
    Do all scary movies have to be in a scary place? Can't they be in a happy place? Like Walmart:
    Boss: Clean up on aisle 13
    Worker: But sir, there is no aisle 13.
    *Dramatic music plays*

:)

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