Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

omgitsalexlc7777

  1. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    November 29, 2012 4:25pm UTC
    Humor is attractive.
    I love when a person can give me
    a really good smile and/or laugh.
    It doesn’t take a lot for me to like you.
    If you can legitimately make me feel happy,
    even in the slightest way,
    I’ll fall for you right on the spot.
    Humor is definitely a plus for me,
    because then I know that on my worst days;
    someone like you could always cheer me up again..

  2. eve123 eve123
    posted a quote
    February 8, 2012 3:25pm UTC
    Zoey May
    Im so sick of boys being such dicks!
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    Toby Jackson
    In 7th grade, I beggen Mr.Williams to let me be your lab partner. I suggested you came round 5 times to do our project, you said no each time. I did the project alone, all of it. In 8th grade, I sent you 3 valentines cards, candy and a rose. You gave the rose to somebody else and threw the cards away. In 9th grade, at the school social, I asked to dance with you. You said "Yes, give me 5 minutes, I need to go to the bathroom." You never came back, and I was left waiting for you. In 10th grade, I bought us two tickets to go and see your favourite band. You said thanks, then took the tickets and gave one to your friend. Now, in 11th grade, I'm confessing this, where everyone can see, to show that actually, girls can be dicks too.
    26 minutes ago · Like
    True stuff

  3. LacedRibbon LacedRibbon
    posted a quote
    November 21, 2012 5:23pm UTC
    Me watching Dora:
    *Dora Theme Song plays*
    Me: D-D-D-D-D-DORA
    Me: D-D-D-D-D-DORA
    Me: DORA DORA DORA THE EXPLORAAA.
    Me: VAMINOS!
    Me: SWIPA NO SWIPING! SWIPA NO SWIPING!
    Swiper: *Snaps* AW MAAAN.
    Me: YOU CAN LEAD THE WA-AY. HEY! HEY!
    Dora: Oh no! My friends are in trouble they can't push the boat. We have to help them!
    Me: Lolno. You have to help them.
    Dora: We have to say empuje!
    Me: Don't tell me what I have to say.
    Dora: Can you say empuje?
    Me: WHY CAN'T WE JUST SAY "PULL" IN ENGLISH?
    Dora: Say it! Say empuje!
    Me: Don't tell me what to do you passive agressive b/tch! I don't like you!
    Dora: Good!
    Me: WAT.
    Dora: Okay! Now, I need the map!
    Me: Good to know.
    Dora: Say map!
    Me: Map.
    Dora: Louder!
    Me: F*CKING MAP YOU HEARD ME THE FIRST TIME.
    Map: If there's a place you got to go!
    Map: I am the one you need to know!
    Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
    Me: You're the what? Sorry, didn't get that.
    Map: If there's a place you got to get!
    Map: I can get you there I bet!
    Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
    Me: Oh my god.
    Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
    Me: OKAY.
    Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
    Me: YOU LOOK LIKE A SOFT TACO.
    Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'M THE MAP!
    Me: Oh really? I thought you were a F*CKING CHAIR.
    Map: Okay! Tell Dora you need to go over the bridge!
    Me: Ok.
    Map: Through the woods!
    Me: Sounds a little dangerous for a 5 year old.
    Map: AND THEN YOU GET TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE!
    Me: WHY IS HER GRANDMA'S HOUSE SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO GET TO?!
    Dora: Where did Map say we have to go?
    Me: Over the bridge and through the woods.
    Dora: Over the bridge and through the woods?
    Me: B*TCH, YES.
    Dora: OKAY!
    *At the bridge*
    Dora: Where's the bridge?
    Me: OMFG I KNOW YOU SEE THAT DAMN BRIDGE RIGHT IN BACK OF YOU.
    *Magical Cursor Clicks the Bridge*
    Me: WHERE THE F*CK DID THAT COME FROM?
    Dora: Let's go across the bridge!
    Me: Okay...
    Swiper: *Takes one of the steps on the bridge*
    Me: WAT. THA. FACK.
    Swiper: *Snickers*
    Dora: OH NO! SWIPER TOOK ONE OF THE STEPS ON THE BRIDGE!
    Me: ORLY? BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE GAVE YOU A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS
    Dora: Quick! Say SWIPER NO SWIPING!
    Me: SWIPER, GIVE THE DAMN STEP BACK. WE JUST WANT TO CROSS THE BRIDGE. GTFO.
    Swiper: *Snaps* AW MAN.
    Swiper: *Puts step back*
    Dora: Now let's cross the bridge!
    Me: ...............
    *At the woods*
    Dora: Where's the woods?
    Me: ARE YOU BLIND.
    *Magical Cursor Again*
    Boots: It's over there, Dora!
    Me: Atleast you're smart.
    Boots: But Dora, I'm scared of the dark woods.
    Me: OMFG, BOOTS.
    Me: STOP BEING A LITTLE B*TCH MONKEY.
    Me: APE UP.
    Dora: It's okay boots. My backpack has a flashlight!
    Me: Ughhhhhh.
    Dora: Can YOU help?
    Me: HELP YOUR DAMN SELF!
    Dora: Say BACKPACK!
    Me: *Rolls eyes*
    Backpack: Backpack, Backpack!
    Backpack: Backpack, Backpack!
    Me: Wtf r u a Pokemon
    Backpack: I'm the Backpack!
    Me: No sh*t.
    Backpack: Loaded up with things and knick knacks too.
    Backpack: Anything that you might need I got inside for you!
    Me: I need an Advil.
    Backpack: Backpack, Backpack!
    Me: No.
    Backpack: BACKPACK, BACKPACK! YEAH.
    Me:
    Backpack: What does Dora need?
    Me: A flashlight for Boots the scared little b*tch monkey.
    Backpack: Okay!
    Backpack: *Lets out tape, a screwdriver, and a flashlight*
    Me: Wtf.
    Backpack: Where's the flashlight?
    Me: ....RIGHT THERE.
    *Magical cursor clicks the screwdriver*
    Me: NO WTF THAT'S NOT A FLASHLIGHT.
    Backpack: That's not a flashlight!
    Me: ORLY.
    *Magical cursor clicks flashlight*
    Backpack: THAT'S IT! GIVE THE FLASHLIGHT TO DORA!
    Me: Oh God.
    Backpack: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM DELICIOSO!
    Me: Why did you eat tape and a screwdriver?
    Me: That's gonna hurt when you take a mighty backpack sh*t.
    Dora: Do you have the flashlight?
    Me: Yes.
    Dora: GREAT! NOW WE CAN GO THROUGH THE WOODS!
    Boots: AND I WON'T BE SCARED.
    Me: I HOPE A WILD BEAR KILLS YOU BOTH.
    *Finally at Grandma's house*
    Dora: !Lo hicimos! We did it!
    Me: You just said the same thing twice.
    Dora: YAYYY
    Me: ...
    Dora: What was your favorite part?
    Me: ...Well.. I have to say I enjoyed the part where--
    Dora: I LIKED THAT PART TOO!
    Me: B*TCH I DIDN'T FINISH.
    Me: F*CK THIS. I'M NEVER WATCHING DORA AGAIN.

  4. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    November 15, 2012 4:10pm UTC
    I wonder
    what its like to be so beautiful
    that everyone gets nervous talking to you

  5. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    November 4, 2012 3:44pm UTC
    Math tells us of the 3 saddest love stories
    Of parallel lines, who were never meant to meet.
    Of tangent lines, who were together once then parted forever.
    And of asymptotes, who could only get closer and closer,
    but never could be together.

  6. That_music_girl That_music_girl
    posted a quote
    November 2, 2012 3:58pm UTC
    So today, our algebra teacher left the classroom for like 3 minutes.
    In that time, we managed to get the whole class to climb out the window.
    Her face when she saw the empty room-
    Priceless.

  7. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    November 12, 2012 7:34pm UTC
    I think on december 21st all the power companies
    should shut off the power...for like 10 mins to make people freak the f/ck out.

  8. annalove26 annalove26
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2012 9:33pm UTC
    Person: So, what do you do for a living?
    Me: Kill zombies.
    Person: But zombies don't exist..
    Me: Have you ever seen one?
    Person: No...
    Me: YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU UNGREATFUL PEASANT.

  9. Princess* Princess*
    posted a quote
    November 7, 2012 3:30pm UTC
    I HOPE MY NINTENDOG IS OK,
    I haven't fed it in 6 years

  10. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    November 2, 2012 2:26pm UTC
    Summary of 2012
    -Stop Kony
    -Honey Boo Boo
    -Olympics
    -Gangnam Syle
    -Hurricane Sandy

  11. lovecrazy lovecrazy
    posted a quote
    November 20, 2012 2:44pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  12. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    November 26, 2012 4:28pm UTC
    Butterflies
    I love that feeling when someone special
    shows some kind of bonding that tickles your tummy
    from the inside.
    It just makes you jump off your feet
    that sends a smile to your face.
    Once I get them, please continue
    because you’re someone worth wanting.


  13. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  14. Luvme Luvme
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2012 11:22am UTC
    If Taylor breaks up with Harry Styles, her new song will be called "The Wrong Direction".

  15. carson5482 carson5482
    posted a quote
    November 24, 2012 2:50pm UTC
    Everyone says Shrek is the best fairytale...
    I have to disagree and here's why...
    Everyone says Shrek is the best fairytale because it shows that two imperfect people can have happy endings.
    Here's what *I* got from Shrek:
    Fiona wouldn't give Shrek the time of day until Shrek discovered that she was also an ogre at night. Therefore, it taught me that an imperfect person can only find love with another imperfect person...
    The real best fairytale in my opinion is Beauty and the Beast.
    In this fairytale, a perfect girl fell in love with a man dispite his imperfections.
    It teaches us that you don't have to be beautiful for people to love you. It teaches us that we need to look at what's on the inside, rather than looks.
    Don't judge a book by it's cover.
    This is why Beauty and the Beast is a better fairy tale than Shrek.
    Disagree with me? Comment!
    Follow for a follow. :)

  16. Jahyvie Jahyvie
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2012 11:57am UTC
    I wonder what you say about me when I'am not around.

  17. Jahyvie Jahyvie
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2012 2:35pm UTC
    You never forget the
    face of the person
    who was your last hope.
    -The Hunger Game

  18. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2012 10:03pm UTC
    Do you ever have these imaginary scenes in your head
    of you in situations that would never actually happen? And, whenever you're bored or spacing out or just walking around, you kind of just go back to them and imagine them over and over.

  19. carebear123 carebear123
    posted a quote
    November 27, 2012 4:28pm UTC
    Christmas is coming so fast
    I can almost smell the mistletoe that i won't be kissed under.

  20. capsized* capsized*
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2012 2:50pm UTC
    1995: askdjkfsdgvsdfmnv sdjfdfvdsjgvjbkdfjdf jasdfsdfsdfgvsf EEEEEEEEEEEY MACARENA!
    2012: asdkcxfdxsjhvfjgjhfugtdfg ajdfjskdfjkdgfkjgeirg,twrfnef fgi,twergjwrgnrjgnerg EEEEEEEEEEEY SEXY LADY!

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2021 Witty Profiles