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oliviashelton3313

littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
September 15, 2012 8:19pm UTC

Girl reblogging a photo of herself: lol im bringing this back :)
Mike Wazowski: put that thing back where it came from or so help me

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timraandnicole
posted a quote
September 17, 2012 8:32pm UTC

#timraswag

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littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
September 23, 2012 6:24pm UTC

Dumbledore: Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts!
Dumbledore: I actually dont know why your parents still send you here
Dumbledore: There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically
Dumbledore: And it just goes up every year
Dumbledore: I guess that just means all your parents hate you
Dumbledore: Great lets have some pumpkin juice!

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OneDirectionQuotes
posted a quote
September 25, 2012 11:29am UTC

Liam: I still believe in Santa Claus.
Zayn: He exists.
Niall: OMG.
Zayn: Doesn't he exist?
Niall:No.
Zayn: Shut up you evil leprechaun.

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linabinabae
posted a quote
August 27, 2012 12:46pm UTC

click to see this quote

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dukey95
posted a quote
August 25, 2012 5:08pm UTC

STUPIDITY
Teacher: Every one get a Dictionary from my desk.
Girl: Where do we get the Dictionaries?
Teacher: *Points at me* Tell her where to get the books.
Me: *points at teachers desk* up there.
Girl: So we have to get them from your desk?
Teacher: Yes, and while you have that Dictionary, look up the word stupidity.
Girl: Why, what does that mean?
Teacher: You will find your name.
Girl: Really? OMG! I'll look in it right now.
Class:
Teacher:
Class:
Girl: Hey, this says the state of being stupid..
Teacher: Oh, Im sorry, was I mistaken?
Class: *In Unison* No I think you were right
Girl: I still don't understand why you lied about me being in there..that was mean.
I didn't use her real name because I'm not sure if she has a Witty, But this is a true story and it happened on Friday♥
Format Credit to Dukey95(:

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ThatsJustLifee
posted a quote
August 25, 2012 8:47pm UTC

Friends: What are you going to buy your dad for his birthday?
Boy: A flower..
Friends: LOL! A flower? Is your dad gay?! HAHAHAHA!
Friends: *Walks away*
Boy: *later* Puts the flower on his dads grave, and cries.
Don't be so quick to judge people.

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Bravosierra*
posted a quote
August 23, 2012 11:34am UTC

Go to your browser.
Type in "Kittyprofiles.com"
... Well played Steve, Well played.

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timraandnicole
posted a quote
August 21, 2012 7:41pm UTC

Whats everyones tumblr's?
Mine is broken-hearts-and-bracelets
free hugs to anyone who follows me,
follow me and I follow back c:

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timraandnicole
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 2:57pm UTC

I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't like mac miller

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 1:15pm UTC

Person Why is it fair that your simple one liner quote gets a top quote?!Me: Sorry. I'll just stop signing into my 643 witty accounts in order to favorite my own quote.

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xTheHungerGamesx
posted a quote
August 9, 2012 3:25pm UTC

Big Bang Theory:
Leonard: Once you open the box it loses its value
Penny: Yeah, my mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity

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ToriCooper
posted a quote
August 9, 2012 12:03pm UTC

Maybe Voldomorts face is flat
because he ran into
The wrong wall at the train station.
blacklace

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gloriaLOVE
posted a quote
August 9, 2012 11:10am UTC

Me: *singing Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song*
Him: Ohmygosh, 90's kid shows! Gotta love 'em!
Me: I know, right?
Me: My kids are gonna be forced to watch shows like CatDog.
Me: And Courage the Cowardly Dog.
Him: ... You mean our kids?

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LacedRibbon
posted a quote
August 9, 2012 10:33am UTC

ME AT THE MALL
Me: *Walks into mall*
Me: Whoo, air conditioning.
Me: *Looks at mom and younger sibling*
Me: I swear to god, I'm the only teenager who has to come to the mall with there family.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: *Looks at a group of teenagers*
Me: You b/tches look like the cast of 90210
Me:
Me: I'm so jealous.
Me: *Sniff*
Me: Hollister is just around the corner.
Me: *Sniff sniff*
Me: Across from Abercrombie and fitch.
Me:
Me: I bet that whole hallway smells like teenage boys and stuck up girls.
Me:
Me:
Me: Ohhh that outfits so freakin' PRETTY.
Me: *Looks at price tag*
Me: *Walks away sadly*
Me:
Me:
Me: He's so hot.
Me: Hey Mr. Hotty
Me: *Walks a little farther away from mom*
Me: Hey Mr. Hot hotty hot stuff hot guy hot like chilly peppers
Me: *Attempted wink turns into awkward blinking*
Me: Oh you have a girlfriend.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: Forever alone.
Me: *Walks into store with family*
Mom: Oh, this looks like a lovely shirt! Do you like it? *Holds up hideous blouse*
Me: No, mom.
Mom: But its-
Me: No.
Me: *Walks out of store*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: Ohh forever21
Me: *peaks in store*
Me: Too many teenage girls that are prettier than me.
Me: Too jelous.
Me: ABORT ABORT ABORT.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: Ooh, smells like pretzels and cinnamon.
Me: But thats how they get you.
Me: Put that obnoxious smell out in the air so it'll make you come in.
Me: ... It's like Hollister..
Me: But with pretzels.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: *Walks into build-a-bear*
Me: *Builds a bear*
Me: I'm gonna call you Ted
Me: *Hugs bear*
Me: Just know that in a couple of weeks you'll probably be under my bed in a pile of lint.
Me:
Me:
Me: *Sees group of teenagers*
Me: *Gives bear to mom to save the embarrassment of walking around with a teddy*
Me: Sorry Ted.
Me: It's not me, it's you.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: *Makes eyecontact with girl*
Me: B/tch I hate you.
Me: Fall off a cliff.
Me: *Walks farther away from girl*
Me: I'm so jealous of her, she's so pretty.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Mom: We should be going home now.
Me: I didn't even get anything.
Mom: WELL HURRY UP AND GET A SHIRT.
Me: *Hurries in random store and grabs lipgloss and a pair of earrings*
Mom: This is all you want?
Me: Yeah
Mom: *Buys stuff*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Santa Claus:
The queen of England:
Pencil:
Shoelace:
Banana:
Bob Marley:
Me: I'm pathetic.

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ilovechu5
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 10:46pm UTC

Yes I'm a hipster
No I cannot make your hips stir
nor, quite frankly, do I want to.
format credit jimmy365

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summer_girlxo
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 11:47pm UTC

Friend: Hey what's up?
Me: I'm in the movie theatre trying to watch a movie but this jerk in front of me keeps using their phone!
Friend: Oh really? That sucks...Hey wait! I'm sitting in front of you!!
Me: Take the hint!!
nmq/nmf

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InLoveWithHim1040609
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 10:47pm UTC

So I Got A New Phone And I Don't Have Anyones Number And Someone Texted Mee
Them: Heyy
Mee: Whos This? o:
Them: Wait Who Is This!?
Mee: The Owner Of Jims Whoore House We've Got The Hoes You've Got The Dough(:
Them: 2 Hoes To Go Please(:
Made My Day(: Lol

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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ChaseYourDreams27
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 11:05pm UTC

Hey, whats up?
Oh nothing really just converting oxygen into carbon dioxide...the usual.
mq/
wtf dude, its summer! Why are you doing science?
Breathing Ally, im breathing -_-
mq1/funnyjunk

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