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neonpandaninja

kristabff
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 2:14pm UTC

A white m&m comes into a room with candy friends.
White m&m: ~engages conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white m&m?
White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate m&m bag over there!
Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE m&m bag, then why are you white??
Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1106 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 8, 2013 3:36pm UTC

one time in high school i didn't read the assigned book
and i was like screw it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some bs about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1202 points

TheLiesBehindTheHazelEyes
posted a quote
January 2, 2013 4:33pm UTC

If they saw my Pinterest,
they would think I'm really creative.
If they saw my Twitter,
they would think I'm funny.
If they saw my We♥It,
they would think I'm a little too obsessed with Justin Bieber.
If they saw my Tumblr,
they would think I'm crazy about One Direction.
If they saw my Facebook,
they would think everything is perfect.
But if they saw my Witty,
they would be in tears.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 84 points

AerilynLilyoh
posted a quote
January 1, 2013 11:55am UTC

Starting off 2013 with breakfast and looking at myself in the mirror and saying that I'm beautiful.
#roadtorecovery

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XTheBestDayX
posted a quote
December 14, 2012 6:09pm UTC

A child's mom said she got a call home from the school, thinking her son was coming home sick, but instead he wasn't coming home at all.
R.I.P.
How could someone do such a thing..?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 293 points

XTheBestDayX
posted a quote
December 14, 2012 6:20pm UTC

26 lives.
26 fu.cking lives.
26 smiles never to be seen again
26 laughs to never be heard
26 futures ripped from their hands.
26 families broken.
26 angels in heaven.
R.I.P. </3

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 30 points

AerilynLilyoh
posted a quote
December 14, 2012 6:31pm UTC

My heart goes out to those in Newtown, Connecticut.
I can't even put into words how I feel.
I pray for the families and friends of the children and adults lost today.
I can't help but think that it could've been my five year old sisters.
Heaven gained 26 angels.
♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

WhisperInTheDark
posted a quote
December 9, 2012 3:54pm UTC

I know you all don't care..
But this year, my daddy won't be spending Christmas in Iraq.. He'll be home with me!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 832 points

blankwolf*
posted a quote
December 4, 2012 10:21pm UTC

How to tell who has been stalking your Facebook profile.
1. Go to Facebook.com
2. Right click anywhere on the page.
3. Click "View page source"
4. Press CTRL + F and type "orderedfriends"
5. Copy the first series of numbers in quotation marks below it.
6. Open another tab, go to Facebook.com/(paste the number here)
7. The first number is the person that's been on your profile the most,
the second the second most, and so on.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1562 points

HakunaaMatata
posted a quote
November 28, 2012 8:52pm UTC

I'M JEALOUS
OF EVERY CHILD WHO LIVES
UNDER THE SAME ROOF AS BOTH OF THEIR PARENTS.
--------------------------------------
NEVER TAKE THAT FOR GRANTED, CAUSE I'D
give anything to go back and cherish it.
I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 215 points

HometownHero
posted a quote
November 28, 2012 9:32pm UTC

I believe in monsters.
Monsters are the calories in food.
Monsters are the size of my jeans.
Monsters are the self hatred in me.
Monsters are judgemental teenage girls.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 463 points

bella5296
posted a quote
November 21, 2012 11:00pm UTC

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
probably mindless dreaming
but if we loved again,
I swear I'd love you right.
I'd go back in time and change it,
but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door,
I understand.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 39 points

bella5296
posted a quote
November 25, 2012 7:40pm UTC

I'm slowly drifting farther and farther away from
everyone who pretends to care.
I don't know where I'm going, but I already know there's no one there.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

RandomGirl42
posted a quote
November 25, 2012 8:01pm UTC

Welcome
to
Witty Academy
School's Motto: ❝For the love of cats please follow the rules!❞
Mascot: Fluffy the Housecat
Principal: Steve
Uniform: None
Classes
Please choose 5 of the following classes for freshman year
Mean Girls 101: Mean Girls plays continously all year long
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History of the 90's: Where people obsess about their childhoods
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Quote writing for beginners: Learn to write good quotes
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Formating for dummies: Learn the basics of HTML and CSS
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Boys I: Learn what goes on in their minds...
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Home Economics: Eat Nutella...a lot of it
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Gym: Thumb exercises. Play videogames
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Please choose 5 of the following classes for sophmore year
Honors Mean Girls: Discuss the movie in detail
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*Must wear pink during these classes
Cartoonmania: Watch all of your favorite old cartoons
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Honors Quote writing: Getting better at writing quotes? Try a story!
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Honors Formating: The more intermediate stuff about HTMLs and CSS
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Boys II: Learn what goes on in their minds...
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*Boys needed for this class
Ranting I: Complain about your problems to other people
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Music: Listen to your favorite bands/singers♫
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Please choose 4 of the following classes for junior year
A.P. Mean Girls: Find out what Glen Coco looks like!
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Extreme quote writing: Use a combination of HTMLs, CSS and
your writing skills for this class
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Boys III: Talk to boys one on one to find out what goes on in their heads
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Ranting II: Continue to complain...
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Home Ec. II: Learn the proper way to care for a cat
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Bacon: Every school needs a class on bacon
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SENIORS:
Do whatever the heck you want!
Witty also has a wide variety of clubs to join!
✯Baconmania
President: Empty
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✯Fangirling
President: carson5482
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✯Cat Lovers United
President: Empty
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✯MeanGirls
President: Empty
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✯Crushing on...Club
President: Empty
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✯WittyBoys
President: Empty
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✯ Nutella Forever
President: Miss Priss
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✯I'm Not Lazy I'm Comfortable (INLIC)
President: Empty
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✯Formating Genius
President: Empty
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✯JockGirls
President: Empty
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✯ForeverAloneClub
President: Empty
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✯MusicFromOtherCountires♫ (MFOC)
President: Empty
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AND MORE!
So welcome to Witty, and for the love
of cats have a good time!
-RandomGirl42
Which classes would you take?
Everyone comment what class or club you want to be in. Only one
club/class per person.
Let the Games Begin.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 321 points

Peace1231
posted a quote
November 15, 2012 3:39pm UTC

Why Crushes Can Be Better Than Boyfriends
1. Crushes basically require you to geek out with your friends.
Once you’re actually dating someone, you can’t keep calling him the Sixth-Period Lord of Hotness, because that’s just bragging. You also can’t giggle for nine hours while having practice crush conversations with your friends (please tell me I'm not the only one who did that), because relationships require talking for real.
2. Your free time is yours, all yours!
The right kind of boyfriend both needs and wants the two of you to have separate interests and lives. But he'll probably still want to know what you're doing, and you probably don't want to explain out loud that no, you can't go out Friday night, because you're too busy making all your T-shirts into ninja masks.
(http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2869/1850/1600/ninjalesson.jpg)
3. It’s never as good as you think it’s gonna be.
In general this is a terrible reason to not do something, but it’s a little bit different when it comes to crushes. Sometimes it’s more fun to imagine magical pony rides through the Carribean with a crush than it is to make stilted conversation with them under the cold, hard light of your local Denny's.
4. You can focus on your friendships.
We’ve all had that friend who pulls a disappearing act the minute she starts dating someone, only to reappear months later, newly broken up and expecting full-on friend therapy. Though friend breakups definitely occur, and high-school sweethearts do occasionally get married, your friends are still likely to stick around a lot longer than the person you just started calling Sugarpants. (You should stop doing that btw.)
5. If you’re in a relationship, you no longer get to crush on eeeeveryone.
Have a little respect. Getting a real boyfriend means retiring your “Mrs. Niall Horan” T-shirt (for a little while), putting your shirtless Justin Bieber gif from Tumblr on temporary hold, and no longer cultivating the five to ten mini-crushes you’ve got going for a rainy day.
♥
nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 353 points

pleasespeaktomyface
posted a quote
November 1, 2012 3:22pm UTC

What happened to your face?
It was just a mask.
What's your excuse?
Nice.
Did you just 'nice' your own joke?
Yup. You would too, if you had jokes.
Nice.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 393 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
October 30, 2012 7:06pm UTC

adventures with braces:
last night i woke up at about two in the morning and my teeth were super sore so i went outside to the garage to get some icecream. (we have a massive freezer in there). but i somehow managed to accidentally lock myself in there and i ended up stuck in the garage for two hours with no painkillers in the dark.
and it turned out that the icecream was chewy caramel flavour.
chewy . caramel . flavour .
chewy caramel.
CHEWY.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 524 points

LacedRibbon
posted a quote
November 1, 2012 8:01pm UTC

Samantha Pantha LIKE if you can raed tihs whit no porlebm baecuas yuor jsut taht samrt. Lol
Like · Comment · Share 12 minutes ago.
Jim Slim yro'ue*
a few seconds ago · 62 likes

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 447 points

MeeAndYoou

posted a quote
October 23, 2012 3:03pm UTC

Research shows that if you're scared of spiders, you're more likely to find them in your room.
Me: I'm scared o Josh Hutcherson...

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Johanna Mason*
posted a quote
October 22, 2012 8:20pm UTC

This is why i love Sheldon #2
Sheldon: "I made tea."
Leonard: "I don't want tea."
Sheldon: "I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea."
Leonard: "Then why are you telling me?"
Sheldon: "It's a conversation starter."
Leonard: "That's a lousy conversation starter."
Sheldon: "Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 446 points

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