mustachedbunny

mustachedbunny
posted a quote
June 29, 2013 12:40am UTC

And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
-Thomas Wayne; Batman Begins

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 4:43pm UTC

I hate when you're watching a movie and there's music in the background so you can't tell whether it was a real sound or just background music.

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 12:36am UTC

I'm not ugly, I'm just a little... unfortunate in the physical appearance category.

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
June 3, 2013 10:17pm UTC

Whenever I finish eating one of my favorite foods,
I feel like I start going into withdrawal.

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
May 30, 2013 10:38pm UTC

*Me talking to my mom today*
Me: So, today, me and my friend were sitting in History class and tossing around paper b@lls. Well, the teacher came over and slapped one out of the and it hit this kid in the face and his eye was all red after that. Then, she started like apologizing to the kid while giving me dirty looks and stuff and I was just sitting there like 'girl please, that kid and his face was your fault. I was just throwing the ball.' So, the kid ended up going to the nurse and the teacher yelled at me when it was all really her fault.
Mom: Wait, you have a friend? When did this happen?

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
May 27, 2013 12:07am UTC

Normal girls going on a date at a restaurant:
Girl: *Takes a few bites, dabs face with napkin repeatedly, then pushes away plate with almost all food left on plate* Wow, that was so good! I enjoyed coming tonight.
Me: *Inhales all of Europe, China, and Africa, drinks Niagra Falls, and smiles at the guy with a mouthful of food* Oh, I almost forgot my manners. Excuse me. *Wipes face with napkin* I still want more food. Got any more food?

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
May 25, 2013 9:27am UTC

for some reason, I feel like turning down food is the polite thing to do.
but screw manners, I want food.

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
May 17, 2013 4:49pm UTC

*A few men meet up after years of not seeing eachother*
Man 1: You guys have any kids?
Man 2: Nah.
Man 3: Nope, never wanted any.
Man 4: You know, the jury's still out there.
Man 5: Probably.
Man 6: Used to have a dog, but it ran away. I'm sure a kid would be the same way.

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 8:15pm UTC

Whenever I walk through automatic doors
I feel as if the red sea is parting to let me through.

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
February 21, 2013 9:28pm UTC

--------------------------------------------------
.............................................................................
Sometimes I feel like witty is ruining our social life
but then I see a good quote and think hmm maybe not.
..........................................................................................
---------------------------------------------------------

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
February 4, 2013 8:31pm UTC

*Today in the shower*
Me: I wanna be drunk when I wake up, on the right side of the wrong bed.
Me: Wow, that sounded good. Maybe I should try a different song.
Me: Carry oooooon, carry on carry on. Oooooooooooh ooooooooooooh.
Me: Okay, yeah. I'm doin' good. I can sing. Why haven't I gotten a record label yet?
*le mom knocks on the door*
Mom: Have you seen the cat?
Me: Yeah, she's sitting on the windowsill in here.
Mom: Oh, is she okay?
Me: Yeah, she's just sitting there. Why?
Mom: Oh, it just sounded like a dying cat in there.

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
December 5, 2012 8:39pm UTC

yeah, because an old, fat man
with a long white beard saying
"I know when you are sleeping, I know when you're awake."
Isn't creepy at all.

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
October 14, 2012 6:00pm UTC

That really depressing moment when
you see a leaf that looks crunchy so you step on it
but its not crunchy

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
October 5, 2012 5:28pm UTC

Yeah, I'm bad@ss
I take 2 pieces of candy when the sign says take one

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
September 26, 2012 3:22pm UTC

If you say gullible really slowly...
It sounds like your saying oranges.
nmq

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
August 31, 2012 1:27am UTC

Yahoo! Answers
Open Question
Why do I love to smell my farts?
No troll honest question here.
when i get home from a long day of work i like to immediately pull my pants and underwear down to the floor and lay on my back and put my *** to my face and **** on it with farts. i like to inhale them till i fall into a fart coma and forget the last couple of hours. my wife agrees that they smell good most of the time unless i eat broccoli then my farts are bitter and sometimes causes her to puke. but what i have found to be helpful with hiding this embarrassing fetish is if i store my farts in containers and take them to me wherever i go and keep them in a jiffy jar until one day my son saw one in the pantry, opened it and nearly died on the floor where i found him one hour after i returned home from work so now i just label my fart jars. jsut out of curiosity does anyone else here do that?
....................................................................................................................
That is so disgustingly wrong. Who has the courage to admit that? You need medical help
format credit jimmy365

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
August 25, 2012 12:53pm UTC

Okay, I'm looking for some stories to read. The thing is, I don't want 1D fanfics. I don't have a problem with them, I just want to read a regular story. I looked through the story category for something, but all I could find was 1D fanfics. If anyone is writing a regular story and wants another reader, please comment. Thanks :)

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 9:03pm UTC

I hate it when
people tell me to text them.
It's like if you want to text me, just text me.
format credit: notyouraverageteenagegirl

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
August 16, 2012 11:44pm UTC

*me and my friend talking on facebook *
friend: dododododooo
me:rerererereee
friend:mimimimimimiii
me:fafafafafaaaa
friend: sososososoooo
me:lalalalallalalaaaa
friend:....
friend: ti spells dirty words...

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mustachedbunny
posted a quote
August 11, 2012 6:09pm UTC

_________ < >
l l / l
l l / l
l . . l
l_______________/
This, is my whale.
My whale says hi.

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Witty Profiles

mustachedbunny