musikLIEBE

musikLIEBE
posted a quote
September 10, 2010 9:47pm UTC

Best Friends Forever? Part 6
Tom stayed with me until I could cry no more. Tom promised to stay the night with me as my parents had gone away to celebrate their anniversary. I had no idea what was going to happen that night, and if I had I probably would have been afraid. No I would definitely have been very afraid. I must have cried myself to sleep that night because I didn't remember falling asleep. If only Katie's death had been a dream, no a nightmare. A nightmare that I could have, and would have, woken up from. I would have woken up to the sound of my phone ringing and it would have been Katie sounding as happy as she was and begging me to go to the mall with her. That was the Katie that I had known, but then she changed, she became a new Katie. A sadder Katie.
It was Tom that woke me that morning. In my sleep I felt Tom move next to me and I felt his soft lips kissing my cheek. His warm arm around me. Instantly I felt safe.
"Tom?" my eyes struggling to open as I mumbled his name. I heard nothing.
"Tom?" I said once more.
"Anneliese, you might want to look at this," I could hear fear and confusion in his voice as he spoke.
My eyes opened wider when Tom turned on the lamp next to my bed. Out my window it was still dark, the clock said 3:59 AM. Tom was holding a piece of paper. What was he holding?
"Don't be freaked out but you have to read this," Tom's voice sounded even more confused and fearful. I took the page from his hand and started to read. Immediately I noticed that it looked like Katie's handwriting. But Katie was dead.
Anneliese,
Don't be afraid. It's me Katie. I know right now you're probably thinking aren't you dead? And the answer to that would be yes, yes I am dead. I am so dead right now, I've seen my body lying in the morgue. Btw, I'm really not trying to scare you. Anneliese, I know you didn't want me to die but this was the only way out, if only you knew what I felt. To me dying, it was a sort of relief. It was like all the struggle and pain was over, but I guess I was wrong. I came to you tonight at 3 AM, I hoped you would've been alone, but obviously we don't all get what we want. I've left you this message to tell you that I'm still here. I am dead but I am still here. And I'm not leaving, not just yet. But I wanted you to know. Sometimes you will know when I'm in the room with you, other times you will not. I'll leave for now as soon as I finish this letter. I think Tom sensed my presence, when I arrived he stirred a bit and I almost had to leave. Anneliese, I'll be thinking about you, I won't forget. DON'T FORGET ME!!!!! NEVER!!!!! Anneliese, you won't be sad forever, you'll make it through.
-Katie
It was signed in what looked like blood. Before I could think of anything else to do I screamed. Tom looked scared too, and we both moved closer together.
Sorry that Part 6 took forever to write, I was writing it and then my computer froze and I lost all of it. Anyways enjoy, I'll try to have Part 7 on asap!! :)

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musikLIEBE
posted a quote
August 29, 2010 11:15am UTC

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musikLIEBE
posted a quote
August 29, 2010 10:55am UTC

Best Friends Forever? Part 5
One Week Later
It seemed like a normal Wednesday morning. I got up, drove to school as usual. I was horribly wrong. As I parked my car I saw a group of people. Some looked as if they were crying. What was going on? I got out of my car and planned on walking into school and going to my locker, just like every morning, but I was stopped by Tom.
"Anneliese, did you hear?" Tom asked me. As I looked into his brown eyes I saw sadness.
"Did I hear what?" I asked, suddenly confused.
"Oh god, you didn't find out." Tom hugged me.
"What? What's happening? Tell me." What was going on? I don't mind but why is Tom hugging me?
"Anneliese, Katie killed herself last night." Tom said and hugged me harder.
I couldn't understand. No, she couldn't have. It took me a moment to realise that I wasn't breathing. I felt as though a knife had just gone through me. Like I was being stabbed in the heart. All words had gone. I was falling. I was really falling. Tom caught me just before I hit the ground.
"No!" I screamed. I couldn't help it. I fell into Tom. He held me close and told me it was going to be okay.
"No. No, it's not going to be okay." I felt like I was going to die, like I was going to collapse and hit my head on the asphalt and never open my eyes again.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jade and Rosa coming over to us. They were both crying. Jade's mascara was streaming down her face. Rose looked awful. They both came over and hugged me. A few tears escaped my eyes. I hurt so much that I couldn't cry. Rose was sobbing so much.
"Anneliese, I'm so sorry," Jade said while more tears streamed down her face.
My mind had totally shut down. As I watched Jade and Rosa walk away it was like I wasn't really there, like I was off in some other, happier place. A place where my best friend wasn't dead. As I was just starting to come back to the present I saw Katie's older brother, James walking over to me. He came up to me and hugged me. Everyone says that guys don't cry but today that was proved false. James was crying harder than anyone else. We stood there together crying. Tom was right by my side as well, his hand holding mine.
"I never got to say goodbye. Last night, she was playing loud music and I went into her room to turn it down, she wouldn't answer when I knocked on the door, and I found her," he said and broke down crying.
I couldn't speak. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything.
All the teachers knew about Katie, and they said that we could go home if we were to upset to face school. Tom said that he'd take me home and stay with me. He said not to worry about his car, he said his brother Sam would bring it home. Tom drove me home and we sat in my room all day. Both crying and just talking about Katie.
I sat up in my bed as the flashback of the past six months ended. More tears escaped my eyes. I was crying so hard that I could hardly breathe. Just as I thought that the tears were never going to stop falling Tom walked into my room. He saw me sitting alone and crying and came over and hugged me.
Sorry that this one is so long. Hope you enjoy! Part 6 should be up by the end of today. :)

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musikLIEBE
posted a quote
August 28, 2010 11:10pm UTC

Best Friends Forever? Part 4
March soon became April. It became more and more obvious that Katie was not doing well. She seemed like a different person, and I know that I wasn't the only person who noticed that.
The bell rang, my last class of the day was about to begin. As I shut my locker I saw my boyfriend, Tom. He held my hand and we walked to study hall together. As we were walking he started to ask me something about Katie.
"Katie's been acting weird, hasn't she?" Tom asked.
"What do you mean by weird?"
"Well, she looks a lot skinnier, like too skinny, and is it just me or is she cutting herself?" He almost sounded concerned.
"I've noticed that too, I'm not really sure what's going on with her."
I knew I wasn't imagining things when I thought that something was up with Katie. Study hall seemed like it was going to pass by fairly normally. I was wrong. About half way through study hall a few girls that I didn't know very well came up to me, I knew that they were friends with Katie but I didn't know why they were going to talk to me. As they got nearer I could tell that something was wrong.
"Hi Anneliese. Have you talked to Katie recently?" Rosa asked.
"Umm yeah, a few days ago. Why what's up?" Why were they talking to me?
"Well, I don't know if you know this but she's thinking about suicide," Jade said, and then looked at the floor.
"What?"
"It's true. She told me that she didn't want to live anymore and that she was better off dead." Rose said. I could hear the seriousness in her voice.
They turned around after that and left together. Shortly after the bell rang. Was Katie really thinking about killing herself? My mind struggled to comprehend. The Katie I knew wouldn't do that, would she? So many questions flooded my mind as I walked out to my car. As I was driving I got a text from Katie.
Katie: Don't listen to Jade or Rosa, they're mad at me, we got in a fight.
Anneliese: They said that you said that you would be better off dead.
Katie: What?! They just want me to stop being friends with them.
Anneliese: You're okay right?
Katie: Yeah I'm fine. Don't worry about me.
Anneliese: :)
Katie: <3
I never realised that that would be the last time that I would ever talk to Katie. She said that she was okay. A week later I realised that she never was okay.
Hope you liked it!!! Part 5 will be up soon, I promise. Sorry that Part 4 took so long.

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musikLIEBE
posted a quote
August 24, 2010 12:13pm UTC

Best Friends Forever? Part 3
As time went on Katie seemed to be less happy, but from the outside she seemed fine. It was around the beginning of March that I started to realise how bad Katie was doing. At school we spend a lot of our time together, but not all the time. One day at school we were eating lunch in the cafeteria and chatting, as usual, then Katie got up and left and I followed her and went to my locker. I saw Katie go into the bathroom, I continued on to my locker. As I was getting ready for Latin my red pen broke, drenching my hands in red ink. It looked almost as though my hands were bleeding. I really didn't want to look like my hands were drenched in blood, so I threw out my pen, shut my locker with my foot, and headed to the bathroom to wash my hands. As I opened the door I saw Katie's backpack sitting in the corner, no one else was here. While I was standing at the sink I noticed that Katie was throwing up. I could tell that she was forcing herself to because she'd often complain to me about how fat she is. Every time she said that I'd tell her that she was being ridiculous. Katie came out of the stall and I could tell that she thought that she was alone.
"Oh, Anneliese, hey!" Katie said while smiling.
"Hey, are you okay? You sounded like you were throwing up."
"What, yeah I'm fine. I think I just ate something bad," she said trying to avoid the truth.
That wasn't the last time that I'd caught her forcing herself to vomit. Another time was at her house. We were home alone, just watching movies, eating pizza, and having a good time. Then she went upstairs into the bathroom, I planned on just going up to her room but I happened to walk past the open door of the bathroom and as I did I saw her forcing herself to throw up.
"Katie, stop!" I said to her.
Her response was gagging followed by vomit.
"Anneliese, I can't. I have to do this," she tried to explain to me.
"No, you really don't. Katie, you're beautiful, you're not fat. Katie, please stop," I said, almost begging her to stop.
I'm sure that wasn't the last time that she forced herself to throw up. She started hiding it even more from me, and pretty soon I could tell that she was even less okay. As time grew on I grew more worried.
Part 4 will be here soon. Keep reading :)

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musikLIEBE
posted a quote
August 24, 2010 11:05am UTC

Best Friends Forever? Part 2
As noon neared I went to my room to get it ready for us to hang out. Put the latest magazines on my bed, plugged my iPod into my iHome, and got some pretzels. Around 12 I heard the doorbell ring and I went downstairs to let Katie in. Katie did not seem like herself at all, her eyes were all red, like she had just been crying, she had no makeup on, and she was not her happy self. Once we were in my room tears started to fall from her eyes.
"Katie, what's wrong?"
"He broke up with me, Alex broke up with me," she said while crying.
"And you know what he said to me after he broke up with me!"
"What did he say to you, Katie?"
"He said, f••k you, sl•t!"
Tears started to fall from her eyes, and I hugged her. Katie and Alex had been going out for almost 7 months now. They seemed happy.
Katie left around 4. When she left she seemed a bit happier. I'd see her tomorrow at school. Katie and I were both juniors.
At school Katie seemed to be her normal happy self, I just assumed that it meant that she was actually happy. When we were sitting in English, both bored to death, I happened to see on her wrist when one of her bracelets moved that she had cut her wrists. I knew that Katie had done this before but she told me that she'd never do it again. I couldn't help but look at her wrists, as I looked I saw more and more little cuts and scars. Some of the cuts were still red, others were fading. Katie must have realised that someone was looking at her wrist because she suddenly moved her wrist and let it rest on her leg under the desk. It made me wonder, how happy was Katie, really?
Thanks for reading, Part 3 is coming soon!! :)

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musikLIEBE
posted a quote
August 23, 2010 11:37pm UTC

Best Friends Forever? Part 1
Katie was my best friend, I wish I could have helped her more. Her suicide has been on my mind since I knew that she was thinking about it but I never actually cried until just now. Tears escape my sad eyes, my face drenched in sadness. As I begin to remember when I found out that she had actually gone through with the suicide even more tears fell out of my eyes. She never really seemed like the kind of girl that would kill herself. She had friends that loved her, she had had a boyfriend, she lived in a good town, and from the outside, had a good life. I never really knew the true reason why she did what she did, but I had a pretty good idea. More tears fell onto my pillow as I started to recall the past six months.
---------------------------------------
I awoke to the sound of the heating turning itself on. I didn't remember going to bed last night, I must have fallen asleep next to my laptop, again. My phone was next to my pillow, I opened it to see Anneliese's Phone (my name is Anneliese, pronounced Anna-leezuh) and 1 New Text Message. It was from Katie.
Katie: Ann, I'm really upset, can we hang out today?
I texted her back.
Anneliese: Yeah. Wanna come over at 12?
Katie: See ya then.
I got up and threw on a pair of black skinny jeans, a blue t-shirt, and my sweatshirt that said New York City.
I never really expected how upset Katie actually would be when she came over that day.

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musikLIEBE
posted a quote
August 23, 2010 12:29pm UTC

I don't want to cause you trouble.
Don't wanna stay too long.
I just came here to say to you
Turn around,
I am here.
By Your Side - Tokio Hotel

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musikLIEBE
posted a quote
August 22, 2010 8:08pm UTC

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musikLIEBE
posted a quote
August 22, 2010 6:34pm UTC

Highlight the ones you want to do
& Cross out the things you`ve done
Graduated high school.
Kissed someone.
Smoked a cigarette.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
ran a marathon
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing
Been sailing.
Cut yourself on accident.
on purpose..
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Dangerously close to being in jail.
Skipped school
Had detention.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched all the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Had a yard sale.
Had a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world.
Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you shouldn’t have.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Gone surfing in California
Had a hamster.
Pet a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair highlighted.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.

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