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  1. addy* addy*
    posted a quote
    October 26, 2014 7:15pm UTC
    a girlfriend is a bestfriend that touches you inappropriately

  2. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    December 13, 2013 5:10pm UTC
    "dont be shy"
    thanks u cured me.

  3. TakingTheLibertyWalk TakingTheLibertyWalk
    posted a quote
    December 18, 2013 4:51pm UTC
    Nobody said it was easy,
    no one ever said it would be so hard. ♥

  4. Jaz* Jaz*
    posted a quote
    November 9, 2013 9:42pm UTC
    I walk down memory lane just to run into you.

  5. ThatMomentWhen* ThatMomentWhen*
    posted a quote
    November 10, 2013 7:10pm UTC
    Dont mix my personality and my attitude
    Because my personality is based on me
    and my attitude depends on you

  6. :)* :)*
    posted a quote
    November 10, 2013 8:16pm UTC
    Hey Wittains, I need your help.
    I had this really awesome idea (and I encourage you to try it). I'm going to put 365 inspirational quotes on post-it notes and put them in a jar. Starting January 1st, I am going to pick one out every morning, and it will be a nice little thing to get me going and put me in a good mood the whole day. But where do I get 365 inspirational quotes? Thats where you guys come in. I need you all to comment your favorite quote that you made up, one that inspires you, or one that just makes you smile all day. It will be a fun thing and every day I will post the quote that I picked out of the jar that day onto witty (and I will credit you and/or the author of the quote). So please comment your favorite quote below!

  7. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    July 2, 2013 9:01pm UTC
    why doesn't someone invent a clear
    toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting

  8. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2013 8:56pm UTC
    This one's for all of the Wittians
    that thought of a brilliant quote but forgot it when they went to post it. You're in our prayers and our hearts. <33

  9. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2013 5:44pm UTC
    REAL MEN WEAR PINK?
    I would beg to differ.
    I know of thousands beyond thousands
    of "REAL MEN" that don't wear pink.
    But instead, they were camouflage
    and protect our contry.

  10. :)* :)*
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2013 2:21pm UTC
    What if the reason why the creators of Monsters Inc. waited 12 years to make Monsters University was because the kids who watched Monsters inc. of 5, 6, 7, and 8 are now 17, 18, 19, and 20 are off to college? The same thing happened with Toy Story 3 and how Andy was giving up his toys and childhood to go off to college? What if they wanted to say goodbuy to the children who loved their movies properly?

  11. dreamer* dreamer*
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2013 3:52pm UTC
    me:*names child butter*
    me:*accidently brings home wrong child*
    me:i can't believe it's not butter.

  12. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2013 2:32pm UTC
    I wonder if teachers play the "who's a virgin"
    game in their heads in class

  13. Butterbear Butterbear
    posted a quote
    June 24, 2013 1:53am UTC
    Drake Bell tweeted this:
    In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby
    "North West" I will be naming my
    first son "Taco"

  14. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2013 12:52pm UTC
    I was at the end of a school dance 8th grade and about halfway through this guy that I
    thought hated me came up and said "I really like you" and I didn't know what to say so
    I just smiled and nodded and walked backwards while doing jazz hands and then that
    night I went home and cried so yeah that's pretty much it

  15. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2013 5:39pm UTC
    A friend of mine asked me if
    I'm going to her wedding. I said, "No, I'll catch the next one."
    She's mad at me now.

  16. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    June 22, 2013 10:12pm UTC
    What do you call a hooker that you pay with spaghetti?
    A pastatute

  17. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2013 4:29am UTC
    today my teacher asked me for an example of a nursery rhyme and i got old mcdonald and mary had a little lamb confused, and then i got even more confused, so what actually came out of my mouth was,
    "old mcdonald had a little lamp."
    lamp.

  18. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2013 2:42pm UTC
    Make fun of Kim and Kayne's baby North West all you want
    That baby is headed straight to the top...And sightly to the left.

  19. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    June 26, 2013 5:08pm UTC
    that look of terror when someone tells
    the waiter that it's your birthday

  20. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    June 22, 2013 3:37pm UTC
    adele: i set fire to the rain
    me:
    mom:
    adele: watched it burn
    me and adele: AS I TOUCHED YOUR FACE
    mom: please get your hand off my face i'm driving.

:)

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