Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

mpmjp

Status:

Member Since: 24 Mar 2012 05:14pm

Last Seen: 1 Apr 2022 10:57pm

user id: 286317

48 Quotes
69 Favorites
5 Following
9 Followers
Comment Points
Comments
Comments on Quotes
Comments by User
Quote Comments by User
Flair beta

follow block report

  1. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 8:28pm UTC
    Mom: So how are your grades this year?
    Me: Mom, whats more important is that we have our health

  2. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 8:26pm UTC
    Me: I'm going to study this year... I have to make my parents pround & get better grades.
    Internet: What did you say?
    Me: Nothing, I love you baby

  3. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 8:23pm UTC
    How to get a girl:
    ''If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple''

  4. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 3, 2013 5:20pm UTC
    Roses Are Red
    Violets Are Blue
    You Really Thought Would Cry Over You
    I Said I Love You
    You Think That Was True
    Well Guess What Player,
    You Just Got Played Too

  5. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    March 25, 2013 8:40am UTC
    click to see this quote

  6. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    October 27, 2012 2:26pm UTC
    You text him ,he doesn't te xt
    back.He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted.

  7. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 27, 2012 9:35am UTC
    Life is like a hot bath. It feels good to be in it but the longer you stay the more wrinkled you get.

  8. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 27, 2012 9:33am UTC
    I don't take life too seriously, because nobody gets out alive.

  9. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 27, 2012 9:29am UTC
    It doesn't matter whether you win or lose. It matters whether I win or lose.

  10. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 27, 2012 9:27am UTC
    Graduation speech:
    I'd like to thank the internet,Google,Wikipedia,Microsoft word and Copy and paste........ That is all.

  11. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 27, 2012 9:21am UTC
    I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
    Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

  12. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 26, 2012 5:55pm UTC
    Me: Why isn't my pizza ready yet?
    Mom: Its been 3 minutes, just wait.
    Me: I DID MY WAITING!
    Mom:Oh, no.
    Me: TWELVE YEARS OF IT!
    Mom: Not again....
    Me: IN AZKABAN !!

  13. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 5:52pm UTC
    Me: Why isn't my pizza ready yet?
    Mom: Its been 3 minutes, just wait.
    Me: I DID MY WAITING!
    Mom:Oh, no.
    Me: TWELVE YEARS OF IT!
    Mom: Not again....
    Me: IN AZKABAN !!

  14. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 5:48pm UTC
    Police Officer: Do you speak English?
    Jose: Yes
    Police Officer: Where are you from?
    Jose: Yes

  15. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 5:45pm UTC
    Me: What does a cow say?
    Little bro: MOO!!
    Me: What does a lion say?
    Little bro: RRRAAAERR
    Me: what does a turtle say?
    Little bro: DUUUDE
    Me: *Sniff Sniff* I have though you well young one...

  16. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 5:39pm UTC
    When I'm bored, nobody texts me,
    but as soon as I'm busy, BAM!!....
    Still,nobody texts me.

  17. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 5:33pm UTC
    Don't bother putting your hand over my mouth to shut me up
    I WILL LICK YOU......

  18. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 5:27pm UTC
    Roses are red,
    My name's not Dave,
    This poem makes no sence,
    Microwave.

  19. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 12, 2012 5:59pm UTC
    I hate that moment when.....
    You find a new song on the internet and when u show your friends it they think its bad and stupid....
    Then it comes into the charts and they love and cant stop singing it it......

  20. mpmjp mpmjp
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2012 1:58pm UTC
    There is plenty of fish in the sea,
    And your just trying to find your Nemo,
    So take Dory's advice,
    And just keep swimming.

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles