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midnightlover

Status: Today you are you that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you.

Member Since: 25 May 2012 09:18pm

Last Seen: 22 Feb 2014 05:03pm

Birthday: October 21

Location: Depends on where my mind chooses to live.

Gender: F

user id: 302686

114 Quotes
4,391 Favorites
12 Following
19 Followers
-1 Comment Points
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Hey it's Aija here.
 

About: I'm not a very inspiring person although I wish I could be. I like to write stories. It's very hard for me to find time to write them so just bare with me if you read them. I enjoy feedback. I'm a huge dreamer. And yet I'm pulled back by the reality of everything. I don't feel like I get anywhere in life. I walk 2 steps forward and am pulled 10 steps back. I have always dreamed of traveling the world and seeing the places I've only read or heard about. So if you could please describe places you love or have wanted to see and maybe if my biggest dream comes true I'll visit the place you mention. Thoughts and ideas always cloud my mind. I don't think I ever stop thinking. If you want to know more about me just hit me up. I'm a pretty open person about most things and I'm willing to give advice to others. Oh and I also would love if people could tell me some songs to check out. I love hearing new things. Books and quotes are also appreciated on my account. Don't have anyone I really talk to on this site but that's okay. You guys probably wouldn't like me very much anyways.

Favorites:
Very little because I fall in love with everything. One of my few favorites is a Lily. And I'm obsessed with old fashioned names. My favorite author by far though is Ellen Hopkins. Check her out guys. You won't regret it.

Personality: I guess you could say I'm always happy. At least that's what my friends think. In all actuality though I'm not. Every thing ticks me off easily. I feel like I'm always right about a situation. Very aggressive.


 

Quotes I'm obsessed with:


~He is drowning, and it is too late. He reaches
for her like an addict reaching hopelessly for the drug
he has sworn not to touch again,
having decided it is better to burn up in one final blaze
than live forever without it.~

~But she's not like a star. Stars are bright but they're
small and all to alike from afar.
She's more like a firework;
She's bright and loud and unescapable.
And you barely have long enough to marvel at her beauty,
before she's disappeared again,
leaving your night sky nothing but a cluster
of stars once more.~

~If your eyes weren't open, you wouldn't know the
difference between dreaming and waking.~

~You is kind. You is smart. You is important.~

~Real love finds you once,
if your lucky.~

~Khalepa ta kala.~

~To love is to destroy. And that to be loved,
is to be the one destroyed.~

~The most dangerous sicknesses, are those
that make us believe that we are well.~

~There are dreamers and there are realists in the world.
You think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists,
but more often than not, the opposite is true.
See, the dreamers need the realists to keep the dreamers from soaring too close to the sun.
And the realists? Well, without the dreamers,
they might not ever get off the ground.~

~I'm thankful for my years spent with this family, for everything we shared,
every chance we had to grow. I'll take the best of them with me and
lead by their example wherever I go. A friend told me to be honest with you,
so here it goes. This isn't what I want, but I'll take the high road.
Maybe It's because I look at everything as a lesson, or because I don't want to walk around angry,
or maybe it's because I finally understand. There are things we don't want to happen,
but have to accept. Things we don't want to know, but have to learn. And people we can't live without,
but have to let go.~



 

Story passages that I love to the moon and back:

    I run for I don't know how long. Hours, maybe, or days. Alex told me to run. And so I run. You have to understand. I am no one special. I am just a single girl. I am five feet two inches tall and I am in-between in every way. But I have a secret. You can build walls all the way to the sky and I will find a way to fly above them. You can try to pin me down with a hundred thousand arms, but I will find a way to resist. And there are many of us out there, more than you think. People who refuse to stop believing. People who refuse to come to earth. People who love in a world without walls, people who love into hate, into refusal, against hope, and without fear. I love you. Remember. They cannot take it.

     "You swore to stay with me," he said. "When we made our oath, as parabatai. Our souls are knit. We are one person, James."
     "We are two people," said Jem. "Two people with a covenant between us."
     Will knew he sounded like a child, but he could not help it. "A covenant that says you must not go where I cannot come with you."
     "Until death," Jem replied gently. "Those are the words of the oath. 'Until aught but death part thee and me.' Someday, Will, I will go where none can follow me, and I think it will be sooner rather than later. Have you ever asked yourself why I agreed to be your parabatai?"
     "No better offers forthcoming?" Will tried for humor, but his voice cracked like glass.
     "I thought you needed me," Jem said. "There is a wall you have built about yourself, Will, and I have never asked you why. But no one should shoulder every burden alone. I thought you would let me inside if I became your parabatai, and then you would have at least someone to lean upon. I did wonder what my death would mean for you. I used to fear it, for your sake. I feared you would be left alone inside that wall. But now... something has changed. I do not know why. But I know that it is true."
     "That what is true?" Will's fingers were still digging into Jem's wrist.
     "That the wall is coming down."

 

  1. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    September 29, 2013 6:49pm UTC
    Cordelia: It's awful to feel that lonely.
    Buffy: Hmm so you've read something about it?
    Cordelia: Hey, you think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular?
    Cordelia: I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone.
    Cordelia: It's not like any of them really know me. I don't even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in the popular zone.
    Cordelia: Sometimes when I talk, everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word I say.
    Buffy: Well if you fell so alone, then why do you work so hard at being popular?
    Cordelia: Well it beats being alone all by yourself.

  2. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    September 19, 2013 1:04am UTC
    So is my school the only school that celebrates.
    Wednesdays, because you know
    it's..
    HUUUUUMP DAAAAYYYY!!

  3. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    August 25, 2013 10:51pm UTC
    I'd be the person who sits front row at a concert
    and trips the singer while trying to reach
    out and touch them.

  4. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    August 12, 2013 9:14pm UTC
    If you can't quote Mean Girls
    word for word
    there is really no point in me
    being friends with
    you....

  5. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    August 12, 2013 9:11pm UTC
    A motto to live by:
    Live every day like you're Glenn Coco

  6. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    July 14, 2013 7:13pm UTC
    People do things to people because of their skin color.
    Yes it's true. Sad but true.
    But sometimes things happen between two different colored people and people automatically
    blame r.acism. There doesn't have to be any evidence to support the
    idea that the act was r.acist it just automatically is. Maybe r.acism would die down a bit
    if people didn't just jump to that conclusion everytime someone was hurt/murdered/arrested
    by someone of a different skin type.
    Sometimes people look for things that aren't there.

  7. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    April 17, 2013 10:46pm UTC
    ~The only people for me are the mad ones,
    the ones who are mad to live,
    mad to talk,
    and mad to be saved,
    desirous of everything at the same time,
    the ones who never yawn or say a common place thing,
    but burn, burn, burn
    like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.~

  8. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    April 14, 2013 8:36pm UTC
    I think it's inevitable at this point that I hate myself.....

  9. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    March 18, 2013 9:53pm UTC
    Shadows
    Rain
    Chapter 8
    I haven't been talking again. I don't see the point. Dr. Sylvia has been questioning me non-stop. She's become crazed about it. But I just don't feel like it. I think I used up all my energy. Apparently I have to go to classes now. I've been excused from a lot of them. They consider if I can talk in a fight I can talk in a group. They are sadly mistaken.
    Jace has been avoiding me like the plague. Well then again so is everyone else. Even Skyler. That really shouldn't surprise me. It does though. It kind of hurts too. So again I'm a loner. But that's okay because it's the only way I know how to be. This is a new group activity for me. It's a sharing circle. You pretty much discuss your problems and see that everyone excepts you for who you are.
    Right now blonde ice brat is talking. I see I left her nose broken. I feel a small satisfaction over that. Then I regret it. I can't believe I did that. She doesn't deserve the vengence I have. No one deserves that except the person who gave it to me. If I ever get out of here I swear I'll hunt him down. I don't care the stakes.
    I keep my head down and write in my journal. It's the only thing I know how to do. I remember doing other things. But they never worked. This is also a safer way to control my anger. I don't take it out on anyone. Not even myself. I write about what happened yesterday and what's happened since then. I get so caught up in my work I don't hear the silence until it's become socially awkward. I look up ever so slightly. Everyone is staring at me and yet not staring at me. They are terrified of me so they won't look at me directly and yet they are still curious as to why I'm not talking. I tilt my head to the side.
    The doctor gives an exasperated sigh. "I asked you what you would like to share with us." I look back down at my journal and keep writing. And yet they still don't seem to get the hint. The silence still goes on. I don't look back up though. Eventually they will get bored of sitting in silence
    Then I hear an unexpected voice in my ear. "Just answer them. It doesn't have to be anything big. You can start off small." I freeze at the sound of his voice. I want to melt into it. The feeling is so overwhelming that I do. "I promise you nothing will happen." I spare a look at him. His muddy eyes staring into mine. I get a sence of calm. I bite my lip to feel something, anything. It clears my head a little. I glance up at his face one last time.
    I don't look away as I speak. I make it so I'm speaking to him. As if no one else is in the room. "My name is Rain. My mom named me after her mom. Who was named after her mom and so on and so forth. It traces back to the tribal days. It means healing and progress from where I am from. My last name is Misra. It means mixed. So I guess if you translate my name it would mean mixed healing. And I guess that's what I'm here for. A type of healing. A healing that most people never have to go through. It's mixed with many people who need all diferent types of healing. People like me."
    Jace seems impressed. He gives me an encouraging smile. I smile back. I then look around the room. Everyone is staring at me in some type of awe. I look at the doctor and she's smiling big and proud like she had something to do with it. I look back to my journal. I close it. I want to hear the different stories of healing and loss.
    So this is a site for the name Rain. It describes her pretty much perfectly
    except the Rain in my story got pushed a little bit to
    far and lost the reality that comforted her. She
    lost all her sensible parts and gave
    into her imaginary realm.
    http://www.first-names-meanings.com/names/name-RAIN.html

  10. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    March 2, 2013 11:49pm UTC
    Shadows
    Rain
    Chapter 7
    When I was alone. Months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds would all melt together into one big blur. Nothing mattered. It was always just one endless circle. I zoned out for most of it. I couldn't keep track of myself. I still have no idea how long I've been here or what day it is. But I'm getting better. I can keep track of the hours. I can count the days. Things are still hazy but getting better.
    I don't want this clarity to go away. It feels nice. I have to keep Jace near me. He's the only one who seems to be able to help. I don't know why so don't ask. I don't think I can let this kid go. So that means letting him have what he wants. I have to speak to him. I practice speaking in my room. My voice sounds scratchy in my ears. Too throaty. Too loud. I think I should stick to silence. I head out to the cafeteria for breakfast.
    My baggy sweatpants and oversized sweater are very comforting when I realize Jace isn't there in his normal spot. He's over by the crowd. The crowd he was with before. My heart plummets. He looks up over at me and I quickly bring my head down. My hair covering the pain on my face. I shuffle my feet over to the lunch line. I pick up an orange, cheese stick, and a bowl of pudding. I'm about to sit down when I hear my name being called. I look ever so slowly searching for the name calling to me. It's not Jace. My heart plummets again. And then it slowly rises half way. Turmoil begins in my stomach.
    The person calling to me is a girl at Jace's table. Her golden hair falling just above her shoulders. Her smile reminds me of icicles. It just seems cold and uninviting. Not to bring more hate onto my self I slowly walk over there. She pats the seat right next to her. Jace is on the other side of me. He doesn't even look at me. If anything he moves farther away. "So how are you Rain?"
    I don't answer. She doesn't expect me to though. She keeps on talking as though I will answer. Her voice brings shivers down my spine. I stare at my food feeling sicker by the minute. I know I'm being made fun of here. But I just can't figure out how it's happening yet. Everyone else at the table is silent. Like they are waiting for some big showdown. I sit there waiting for it. And eventually it comes. "So have you ever been to a circuis?" I freeze. My breathing seems to stop. "I have. It was tons of fun. The food was filled with tons of calories though. My favorite part though was the clowns."
    I choke. I feel the tension in my shoulders. I feel the anger bubbling up. I feel myself choking back frustration, and the saddness. But most importantly the memories. I push them back so hard. I won't give into what she wants. "The clowns had painted smiles and yet such saddness in their hearts. It's almost like they were willing to... I don't know... I guess it was like they were eternally sad because they had to give people happiness. But I bet if they were given a chance they would turn around and hurt someone. Don't ya think?"
    I snap. I can't help it. I turn my face to hers. I stare her down for what seems like eternity. I see her smile falter for a split second and that's all I need. I pounce. I feel my sadistic side come into play. The side I hate to show. "I suggest you shut up before I shove my size 8 foot up your skinny little butt." Everyone stares in utter shock. I realized I have just spoken in front of people out of anger. My mistake.
    She recovers quickly. "Or what freak?" And I completely lose it. All the words and actions from before have been piling up for this one moment. Just this one second. They all come flooding back. Making me loose control. I let it happen. I clench my fists. Quick as ever though I bring up my right one and slam it into her face. She falls to the ground. I can tell her nose is broken. I don't care. I turn back to my lunch. I can tell people are staring at me. Then there eyes move upward. Before I can react I feel me being yanked back by my hair.
    "So you think you're so tough? Just because you get one punch in. I'd beg to differ." She pulls harder. I feel hair coming out of my head. I know it will hurt if I do what I think I should. So I brace myself. And I turn myself around. It twists the hair right out of my head. I grab the girl by her legs and yank her down. She falls rather quickly. That could be because she is only bones. I hear people screaming and yelling. Then I hear silence. I look up and see Dr. Sylvia standing there. She looks shocked to see me here on the ground where the fight had broken out. So I decide to shock her even more. "Hello Dr. Sylvia." She nearly faints.

  11. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    March 2, 2013 1:32am UTC
    Shadows
    Jace
    Chapter 6
    "Did you just see what I saw?" I can't believe I just saw her smile. After days of absolutely nothing I get an unexpected vibrant smile. I must have imagined it. I mean it's the only thing that makes sence. Even so it was the most beautiful smile I may or may not have actually seen.
    "I can't believe she just smiled." Craig looks just as shocked as me.
    "Has she ever smiled before?"
    "Not once. And I was here a week before she got here. They brought her in wearing a straight jacket. They said something about her maybe haveing a split personality. But as far as I can tell she only has one personality. And that would be mute." I nod along. I'm still hung up on her smile. I don't understand why she ran out as soon as it happened. But I will find out. I mean that's my job. That's why I'm doing it. I have to remember that.
    I look at Craig. "I thought I told you and the people you were with to get lost." He stares at me for a long time. His eyes looking head on into mine.
    Finally he answers me. "I hate those guys so much. You have no idea how happy I am that you showed up." I burst out laughing and he joins in with a few chuckels of his own. Craig is a pretty cool guy after I get to know him. He's in here for depression. Shocker right? Other than that he seems perfectly fine. He actually hates the bullying that goes on around here. He couldn't stand upt to them for fear of them picking on him and his depression picking back up. He has a girlfriend on the outside. She visits him every Tuesday. He showed me a picture and she's absolutely gorgeous. Through all of this though I can't help but think of Rain.
    The way she smiled just made me want more. If her smile is contagious I wonder what her voice would be like. I wonder if she actually does have a split personality. She doesn't seem like the person. Maybe it's just rumors. But then that little nagging in the back of my head tells me otherwise.
    I tell Craig that I will see him later. I head off to find Dr. Sylvia. I need to figure this out before I lose my mind. I need to know about Rain if they want me to help her. If I want to get out. Dr. Sylvia is in her office. She looks startled as I enter. "Tell me everything about Rain."
    She composes herself rather quickly. "You know I can't do that."
    "If you want me to help her you better. I have to make sure I'm not working with an absolute lunatic."
    She sighs. "She's not a lunatic. She's just a confused little girl. She has no grip on reality. She doesn't know what's true or false. She's actually been lost in a reality. She thinks she killed her parents. Or was forced to by a clown. The whole story is rather lengthy. All you need to know is that it's fake. It was a shut down function when her family died in a car accident. She couldn't deal with it so she created a different reality. She also thinks we are here to turn her into the cops if we find out the truth. That's why she's so silent."
    I pause. I don't know how to react to all this new information. "If she doesn't talk how do you know all this about her?"
    The doctor sighs. "We have been stealing her diary and reading it. I know it's not professional but we weren't getting anywhere with her. She is locked up tighter than a box."
    I nod a long like I agree with what they are doing. But I don't. I don't think I ever will either. Rain is a private person. I think she'd be horrified to know this. I think it would set her further back if she knew. So I won't tell her. But I will make sure they stop reading her journal. No one deserves their privacty invaded.

  12. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    February 25, 2013 12:01am UTC
    Shadows
    Rain
    Chapter 5
    Sometimes when I close my eyes I see flashes. Flashes of ideas, colors, thoughts, anything really. Mostly it's memories though. Back to when I was happy. It makes me home sick. It makes me want to break down and let everything out. I try not to close my eyes anymore.
    Simple things terrify me. Like being happy. That terrifies me so much. I should in know way be happy. I can never be happy again. Not after what I've done. People don't seem to understand this. But that could be because I don't tell them. I don't even tell them my name for that matter. That's why I don't understand the kid. Or as I should call him, Jace.
    I don't even give him the time of day and yet he still wants to be my friend. I'm a freak. Why would he want to be near me? He will be able to leave soon. So why hang out with me? I would only bring him down. I really should have said no to having him be my friend. But it's true about what he said. I could really use one. I need someone to occupy my time. Someone who can get me to stop thinking. Even if it's just for a little while.
    I sit at the lunch table while he keeps on talking. He never stops. He really isn't conceded though. He neve brings himself up once. It's always about people he knows and what they have done to inspire him. The way he talks abou them is beautiful. He just seems mesmerized by them. Like each of them is a new and equally beautiful subject. A subject that you just can't seem to express your feelings for. It makes me want to smile. But I don't.
    I know better. If I smile he'll keep going. He'll keep acting like my silence doesn't bother him. But I know it does. I know he'll want to leave soon. And that's for the best. So if I smile he will stay. That's definetly not a good thing. He's better off with out me in his life. Jace is better off with pretending he never met me. I know it. Pretty soon he will know it too. Just like everyone else knows it.
    So I listen to him speak. I memorize it. I want to keep it for later. So that way when he does leave I will have it. That way if I get out of here I know how I should feel about things. I sneak glances at him every chance I get. Jace is absolutely beautiful to look at. I bite my lip and look back down so that my hair falls in front of my face. This way he can't see me smile. He has stopped talking. I stop breathing. There is only a couple of reasons for him to stop talking and none of them are good for me.
    One reason is that he saw me smile and he couldn't believe it. The other reason is that something unexpected happened. I was so caught up in him that I didn't realize someone had walked up. Actually a couple someones. I'm stiff as a board. I can't seem to get air into my lungs. My instinct is to run as fast and as far as possible.
    Two people sit next to me and the other two next to Jace. "So what's happening over here?" The voice is like ice. Pure cold. I flinch.
    Bad move. "What was that for Freak?" I shrink farther into myself as everyone looks at me. As that second voice condems me for what I am. Now Jace will realize what he should have right away. He will understand that he needs to leave me alone if he wants to get out of here.
    "Hey, jack wagon. Yeah you. Did we ask for your input?"
    "Dude calm down. We are just talking to the freak."
    "She's not a freak. If anything I'd say you guys are the freaks. Nobody knows what you guys are in here for. So why don't you go talk to someone who actually wants to hear your opinion." I can't believe what I am hearing. It makes me smile. He can't see it though. But I want him to. I want him to know I'm grateful. So as I hear people getting up and leave I look up and smile. But the thing is he isn't the only one sitting there. A dark stranger is also. The look on both their faces when they see me smile is priceless. Yet I can't soak it up because I didn't want this guy to see me smile. I can't have him see me smile. He didn't deserve it. He didn't work for it. So I get up and leave. As quickly as possible. I don't turn back. I don't want them to know I can feal anger.

  13. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2013 10:39pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  14. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 12:24am UTC
    Shadows
    Rain
    Chapter 3
    I thought they would let me skip out on group time. Guess not. The gloves are on. I couldn't share another page. Not after showing one today already. Everyone is staring. I shrink into my oversized sweatshirt. You can barely make me out. I can sence someone sit down next to me. Then I feel someone sit on the other side of me. They feel like sentenials. Maybe they are. Maybe they have come to protect me from the world.
    Wrong again. The whispers and the jabs into my side. It hurts. But not as bad as it would be for most people. For normal people. "Hey Rain. I heard that you got the gloves."
    "Why don't they just kick your crazy butt out already?"
    Silence. That's all they deserve. I have yet to meet someone who deserves to hear my voice. Even Skyler hasn't. She's too conceded. The only reason I let her near me is because she's similar to Ky. Ky was my best friend from the outside. She's tried to visit me but I won't allow it. I can't have her see me like this. They ask me about Ky in sessions. I won't answer though. Just like right now.
    "Come on Crazy. Answer us. Tell us all your dirty little secrets. I bet your in here because nobody wanted your crazy butt. This was the only way to get rid of you. Instead of face that you just mope about it."
    "Don't act like your better than us by not talking. You're not. You're probably worse than us." They just kept going. I didn't feel like looking to see who the culprits were. It didn't matter.
    Then out of no where the kid showed up. "I suggest you leave her alone before I make you." I hear two people scramble away from me. Two other people sit down next to me. "You okay?" He always seems to be asking me that. I don't know why. If I'm in here then obviously I'm not.
    "She doesn't like to talk. Never has. Probably never will. Nobody knows why. You just have to roll with it." Skyler. God help her. She doesn't deserve to be here. Well compared to the others that is.
    "Everyone talks. If they don't then it gets awfully lonely. So Rain what's your favorite book?" I don't know what comes over me. Maybe it's his voice. Maybe it's the way he stood up for me even after I got him in trouble but I answer him.
    Or at least I try to. I can't get my voice to work. It comes out as choked air. It's like I've forgotten how to speak. And maybe I have. Or maybe it's my vow that holds me up. My vow never to talk to anyone again. Or maybe it's my punishment. My punishment for killing my family. But I guess I won't know.

  15. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    February 3, 2013 11:54pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  16. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    February 2, 2013 12:22am UTC
    Shadows
    Jace
    Chapter 1
    This room is way too small. How do they expect me to live in a box? There isn't even a window. This just blows. I guess that's what I get for being crazy and all. I set my bag down on the twin sized bed and look around the little box. At least I have a mirror. Oh and a dresser. Now this is heaven.
    I try to get comfortable in this miny room but I can't so I go to explore. This asylum type thing isn't actually just for the crazy. It's for the recovery patients also. I'm recovering from alcohol. Or more precisely what alcohol does to me. I'm not proud of it but I punched a woman. Actually I punched her a couple of times. I guess you could say I have anger issues.
    I head to what they call the lunch room. I can see this place is set up exactly like a high school. Just what I didn't need. I got out of high school a year ago and I really don't want to relive it. I head to the lunch line and grab a tray. The food they have here is better than a regular school's lunch. It looks like it's cooked fully and it's not left overs either. I see everyone staring at me once I get out of the line. Then I see some one waving me over to them. Without a better option I head over there.
    There are 2 girls and 3 boys. The girls are absolutely beautiful. If your into the anorexic that is. They could be sisters. One has beach blonde hair and cold blue eyes. Her smile is about as fake as her face. The other looks slightly nicer. Her cheekbones jut out farther, her brown hair hangs limply to the side revealing her gorgeous grey eyes. She looks a lot more welcoming.
    The boys are already calling me homie. Could they pick a stupider slang term? One has dark gold hair and dark blue eyes. His face still has most of its baby fat so he must still be in high school. The other has dark hair and almost balck eyes. He looks dangerous. Best not to test him. I seem to inadvertantly make friends where ever I go. Even if the people could possibly be crazy.
    "So what's your name handsome?" This comes from the blonde.
    "It's Jace. And what about you guys?"
    "Mine's Kate." The brunette says. "The blonde bimbo is Jess. Mister misterious is Craig. And last but not least is Ethan." I look at them all. Nodding at each of them like I could possibly be friends with them.
    I start to eat my food. I haven't eaten since this morning and I'm ravenous. I can see the girls looking at me in disgust. They all start in on the do's and do not's of this place. Don't hang by the bathrooms. Do hang out in the rec center near the TV. Don't talk to anyone else because they are all certifiably crazy. Do pretend your getting better. Don't hang out with the girls after 9. Do sneak into their rooms after 2 when everyone is sleeping. Then silence engulfs us as they stare at the door.
    I turn to look. A tiny bird like girl enters the room. Her head is cast down ward so her jet black hair is covering her face. Her hands are clenched in fists at her sides. She glides over to the lunch line and grabs an apple, orange, and cookie. She flinches when someone accidently bumps into her. It makes her head whip upwards in a split second. I can see the frantic look in her peircing green eyes. Her eyes are so captivating. So many layers to them.
    "Looks like crazy got let out of detention early." Kate says. I turn away from the captivating girl to look at Kate. "That's Rain. She doesn't speak. She's a mute. No one knows why she's in here but we all know she's crazy. She usually has the gloves on so she doesn't hurt herself or anyone else. I guess they gave her a break this time." I look back to Rain. Her head is down again but her arms are visible. They are covered in claw marks like she was trying to get something out. I guess it's best to stay away from her to. That is if I want to get out of here as quickly as possible.

  17. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    February 1, 2013 10:41pm UTC
    Shadows
    Rain
    Prologue
    I'm crazy. Or at least in some sence of the word. But the thing is I'm really not. But if you say that then you automatically are. And if you say you are crazy then your admitting to it. You can't win once being accused. You see I have all these horrible parts in my life that haunt my every move. Every time I close my eyes, take a breath, or try to live they pop up. They hold me back. I can't get close to anyone becasue of them. It leaves me screaming. It leaves me locked up. It leaves me broken.
    I don't mind being crazy. I get left alone. Or as alone as you can get in an asylum. The doctors, therapists or other crazies don't understand me. They don't understand why I don't talk. But that's okay, because I don't mind being alone.
    I like words. Small words that hold tons of meaning. Love is probably the word that first pops into your mind. The one small word that pops into mine is trust. It's the only thing I don't have. But who can blame me? If you knew my story you'd understand. But you don't. And you probably never will. You see I'm locked up tighter than Bill Gates bank accounts.
    For now I'll tell you the basics. That way you have some way of recognizing me if you ever see me. I have black hair. I have green stained eyes. I'm the color of almonds. I like Easter Lilies. Clowns are something you can never bring up in a conversation with me. I live in an asylum because the court ordered it. I've been here for 3 months. My whole family is dead. This is my story. Or better put, this is the story of Rain.

  18. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    January 25, 2013 1:29pm UTC
    So I bought a dog.
    I named him Stay.
    I like to say Com here, Stay.
    Now he's insane.
    O__o

  19. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    January 15, 2013 11:04pm UTC
    It's just impossible to
    Breathe.....

  20. midnightlover midnightlover
    posted a quote
    January 13, 2013 1:07pm UTC
    ~He is drowning, and it is too late. He reaches
    for her like an addict reaching hopelessly for the drug
    he has sworn not to touch again,
    having decided it is better to burn up in one final blaze
    than live forever without it.~

:)

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