I was in the winter of my life-
and the men I met along the road were my only summer.
At night I fell sleep with visions of myself
dancing and laughing and crying with them.
Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour
and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me,
and my only real happy times.
I was a singer, not very popular one,
I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet-
but upon an unfortunate series of events
saw those dreams d a s h e d and d i v i d e d like a million stars
in the night sky that I wished on over and over again
- sparkling and broken.
But I didn't really mind it
because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted
and then losing it to know what true freedom is.
When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing,
how I had been living- they asked me why.
But theres no use in talking to people who have a home,
they have no idea what its like to seek safety in other people,
for home to be wherever you lied your head.
I was always an unusual girl,
my mother told me that I had a chameleon soul.
No moral compass pointing me due north,
no fixed personality.
Just an inner indecisiveness
That was as wide as wavering as the ocean.
And if I said that I didn't plan for it to turn out this way
Id be lying- because I was born to be the other woman. I
belonged to no one-
who belonged to everyone,
who had nothing- who wanted
everything with a fire for every experience
and an obsession for freedom that terrified me
to the point that I couldn't even talk about-
and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness
that both dazzled and dizzied me.
Every night I used to pray
that Id find my people- and finally I did-
on the open road. We have nothing to lose,
nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore
- except to make our lives into a work of art.
Live fast.
Die young.
Be wild.
Have fun.
I believe in the country America used to be.
I believe in the person I want to become,
I believe in the freedom of the open road.
And my motto is the same as ever:
I believe in the kindness of strangers.
And when Im at war with myself,
I Ride. I Just Ride.
Who are you? Are you in touch with all your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where youre free to experience them?
I Have. I Am Fu/cking Crazy. But I Am Free.
mariah_love1369