Witty Profiles

mankeyman19

1. mankeyman19
   posted a quote
   May 21, 2012 7:50pm UTC
   If there were an award for most pessimistic, I probab;y wouldn't even be nominated.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
2. mankeyman19
   posted a quote
   April 19, 2012 10:37pm UTC
   Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
   If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
   If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
   If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
   If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
   If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully to the little voice until it tells you which number to press.
   If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
   If you are delusional and hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points
3. mankeyman19
   posted a quote
   April 19, 2012 10:11pm UTC
   Whenever I wish someone happy birthday, I always go with the happiest Birthday quote I can think of, "Happy Birthday, and may the odds be forever in your favor."
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
4. mankeyman19
   posted a quote
   March 28, 2012 10:12pm UTC
   I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if it’s just for a second, that I’ve crossed your mind.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
5. mankeyman19
   posted a quote
   March 25, 2012 3:25pm UTC
   If only the war on poverty was a real war, then we would actually be putting money into it.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
6. mankeyman19
   posted a quote
   March 25, 2012 3:22pm UTC
   Some people just need a high five…
   In the face…
   With a chair.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
7. mankeyman19
   posted a quote
   March 23, 2012 8:00pm UTC
   Team Gale!!!!!!
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 2 points
8. mankeyman19
   posted a quote
   March 23, 2012 7:51pm UTC
   I DON’T NEED ANY FANCY FORMATS FOR MY QUOTES. I JUST NEED TO THINK OF SOMETHING PEOPLE CAN CONNECT TO.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
9. mankeyman19
   posted a quote
   March 20, 2012 11:07pm UTC
   You’re fat.
   And don’t try and sugar-coat
   it, because you will probably eat
   that, too.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
10. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    March 19, 2012 8:11am UTC
    Teenager (Noun): A person who is 100% ready for the Zombie apocalypse, but has no idea what they are doing on Friday night.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
11. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    March 19, 2012 7:50am UTC
    For all the people who have ever said that my girlfriend is lucky to have me, they are dead wrong; I am the luckiest guy alive to have her. She is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love her with all my heart. Emily, te toto corde diligam (Latin).
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
12. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    March 19, 2012 7:45am UTC
    Math illiteracy affects 8 out of every 5 people.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
13. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2012 7:41am UTC
    "Laughing not only adds years to your life.
    It adds life to your years." (mankeyman19)
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
14. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    March 1, 2012 6:49pm UTC
    Today, I turned my history homework in on a block of wood.
    He says he wants to keep it as a souvenir. He also gave me an A+.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
15. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    March 1, 2012 6:39pm UTC
    J'aime ma petite amie à la mort. Elle me complète. Je ne pouvais pas vivre sans elle. Elle est la meilleure chose à propos de ma vie. Elle est incroyable, grandiose, impressionnant, d'amour, et son rire est magnifique. Elle est une belle personne à l'intérieur qu'à l'extérieur. Et le truc cool, c'est, elle peut lire ceci et vous pouvez probablement pas.
    BTW this is in French.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points
16. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    February 27, 2012 9:37pm UTC
    I the number 666 is considered evil
    Is 25.8069 the root of all evil
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
17. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    February 27, 2012 9:31pm UTC
    Charmander is red.
    Squirtle is blue.
    If you were a pokemon.
    I'd choose you.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
18. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    February 27, 2012 9:26pm UTC
    If you are going to kill yourself, try and use radiation because there is a 99.99% you will die a horrible death. However, their is a .01% chance that the radiation will give you superpowers and you will live happily ever after, and you won't want to commit suicide any more.
    o
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
19. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    February 27, 2012 9:12pm UTC
    Everything is funnier when you aren’t allowed to laugh.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
20. mankeyman19
    posted a quote
    February 22, 2012 10:20pm UTC
    We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice but is still single
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles